Parashat Hukat introduces us to the mitzvah of parah adumah – the special red cow that was used for purifying. The cow was slaughtered and burned, and the ashes were then be mixed with water. That water would be used to make somebody or something tahor (“pure”) after it had become tameh (“impure”) by coming in contact with a dead body.
The Midrash draws a connection between the parah adumah and the sin of the golden calf. A calf is a young cow. And so the parah adumah represents the “mother” of the golden calf.
In the words of the Midrash: “Let the mother come and clean up her child’s mess.”
When a young child makes a mess, the parent has the responsibility to clean up the mess.
Thus, the parah adumah serves to atone for the sin of golden calf – like a mother cleaning up the mess made by her child.
The Midrash implicitly conveys what might seem like an obvious message, but which is, unfortunately, not always as obvious as it should be:
When there is a mess to clean up, we need to clean it up.
I cannot tell you how many times I have heard parents of married children complain, “CAN’T THEY AT LEAST CLEAN THE HIGHCHAIR?!!?!”
Especially in the summertime, it is common for young couples to spend a lot of time in their parents’ houses, or even move in for a few weeks. They need to be responsible, and, quite literally, clean up the mess. It is not considerate to their parents to leave it to them to clean up the kids’ mess. They need to take responsibility.
But there’s a more general lesson here, too.
People are sometimes oblivious to their surroundings, to the “messes” that they make without taking care of, or taking responsibility for. They go about their business doing what they want to do without showing any regard for what’s going on around them, for the “mess” that needs to cleaned up.
This happens because of selfishness – something that all of us have. We are all selfish in some way. And to an extent, this makes sense. We all have personal needs that we need to care for. The problem is that these needs create “blind spots” that shield our vision, that don’t allow us to see other people and their needs. These “blind spots” prevent us sometimes from seeing the “mess” that we are making and that we are supposed to be “cleaning up.”
The solution to this problem is to make a special effort to keep our eyes open and look around us. We don’t need to live with blind spots. If we turn our heads far enough, we’ll see more. If we pay closer attention to the people around us, we won’t be blind to their needs.
So let’s try to always stay attuned to what’s going around us. Let’s “clean the highchair.” Let’s clean up the messes that we are responsible to clean up, and show greater concern and consideration for all the people in our lives – who will then, undoubtedly, do the same for us.
This will make our homes, our families and our community so much happier.