There's a man who passed away. I mentioned him in last week's speech, too. His name is Mr. Mark Shemtov. It turns out this man was an incredible person. What he did, the tzedakah (charity) he gave and how he gave it, and how he treated people—it was like, “Go out and hear his stories.” Each story is more exciting and more mind-boggling than the next. I'll give you just one of them.
On Purim, he would give out money. But he wasn't going to sit there all day writing out checks. He had someone whom he hired to write out checks all day for all the poor people who were coming, and he would enjoy Purim, sometimes with the people who were coming and sometimes at the party. One Purim, there was a line of people waiting to collect money while his assistant wrote out checks. He was inside, and they were waiting to get money. He walks into the room and sees that at the back of the line is a chashuv (respected) rabbi. He feels bad. He doesn't want the rabbi to wait. So he takes the rabbi. He says, “Rabbi, I'm going to bring you to the front of the line.” So he starts bringing the rabbi to the front of the line. Now everyone else in line doesn't know they're in his house. They don't know they're getting his money. He's walking toward the front of the line, and one of the people in line says, “Hey, you're cutting the line,” and elbows him in the nose, making him bleed. You're waiting in line for my money, and you just elbowed me in the face, and I'm bleeding now. Any normal person would have pretty much tackled the guy, sent him out of the house, and said, “Collect somewhere else.” He didn't say a word because it's from Hashem, and he just kept going and put the rabbi in front of the line. Let the man wait in line and wait his turn and get the money he's waiting for. Because when you live with Hashem, everything is better. And everything is easier. Marriage is easier. Sadly, even passing is easier. Everything is easier when you live with Hashem.
So if you're married, or your child is married, and you have something that's frustrating—like maybe they don't put their plate in the sink, or they don't come home on time, or they're a little messy, or they don't make as much money as you hoped, or they're a little too shy, or they're a little too talkative—and you're like, “Oh, this is frustrating, and it's not going to change.” You're going to try to change him, or you're going to try to change her. It's not going to happen. And then you're going to say, “It's not going to change.” Stop and ask yourself the question: How does Hashem want me to respond? Or better yet, who does Hashem want me to become? Because this marriage isn't who I chose. This is the marriage that Hashem chose.