The Mishnah in Pirkeh Avot (5:23) teaches, לפום צערא אגרא – “the reward is proportional to the pain.” What does this mean?
The Hafetz Haim tells the story of a simple villager who went to the city for the first time. He walked into a store, and was amazed by what he saw – bags and bags of flour piled from the floor all the way up to the ceiling. He had never seen anything like it.
He then walked into a different store, and again he was amazed – he saw piles of clothing, from the floor to the ceiling. Never in his life had he seen so many garments all together in one room. He was dazzled.
Later, he went into a store and saw exquisite silver utensils, each displayed on its own shelf. Afterward, he went into a diamond store, and saw each tiny diamond displayed in its own case.
When he returned to his village, he could not stop talking about the amazing sight he beheld – sacks of flour and piles of clothing extending from the ceiling to the floor. He wasn’t amazed by the small pieces of silver, or by the tiny diamonds; he marveled at the flour and garments piled up to the ceiling, which were worth far less than the silver and diamonds.
The Hafetz Haim used this fable in observing how people are so often impressed by the wrong things.
We are impressed by people who excel through their natural talents – people who are good-looking, bright, creative, wealthy, popular and well-liked. We are impressed by people who have a lot of noticeable accomplishments to their credit. Certainly, there is nothing wrong with that; we should be impressed by people who have natural talents and work hard to use these talents to accomplish great things. But we should be even more impressed by the small “diamonds,” by the people who had to work and struggle to achieve something small. These achievements don’t catch much attention, but they are priceless “diamonds.”
I want to tell you who my heroes are. My heroes aren’t the great Rabbis in our community or elsewhere in the Jewish world. My heroes are not the generous philanthropists who donate large sums of money to important charitable causes. It goes without saying that I have great respect and admiration for outstanding Rabbis and outstanding philanthropists. But they aren’t my heroes. I know other people in the community whom I consider my heroes. They include:
· A teenage boy whose parents are going through a horrible divorce, and he is doing everything he can to overcome the negativity and to remain devoted to mitzvot;
· A woman whose marriage was falling apart, to the point where everybody around her told her to end it, but she worked very hard to make it better, and, after years of hard work, the marriage is stable and happy.
· A woman whose husband lost his job, found another, and then lost that one, and is still unemployed, yet she remains supportive, upbeat and encouraging.
· A father whose son became much more religiously committed than him, and he agreed to help support his son in kollel, because even though he does not fully understand, he recognizes that there is value in Torah study.
· A single mother who is raising a happy child on her own through incredible hard work and devotion.
These are the precious pieces of silver and precious diamonds that do not catch as much attention as the flour piled up to the ceiling, but are so valuable. The greatest acts of heroism are those which come without fanfare and often go unnoticed.
The Mishnah teaches us, לפום צערא אגרא. The most valuable achievements in life are the achievements made through struggle, the achievements which don’t come naturally or easily. These achievements don’t receive a lot of attention, but they are priceless.
Very often, when we find ourselves struggling with a certain problem, we feel very frustrated. We keep imagining to ourselves how much better we’d be without this problem, how much more we could achieve if we didn’t have to struggle with this issue. But the truth is just the opposite – thatלפום צערא אגרא, our most precious “diamonds” are attained during times of struggle. People aren’t going to recognize or admire these “diamonds,” but that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change the fact that they are the most precious accomplishments of all.
It is specifically when things don’t come easily, when we need to struggle, that we shine the brightest and become truly great.