Parashat Matot tells of the tribes of Reuven and Gad, who came to Moshe and asked his permission to permanently settle in Ever Ha’Yarden, the area east of the Jordan River. Beneh Yisrael had captured this area from the kingdoms of Sihon and Og who had attacked them, and now Reuven Gad asked if they could permanently live there, instead of crossing over into the Land of Israel with the rest of the nation.
Moshe initially was angry at them for expressing this wish to remain outside the land rather than fight with the other tribes to capture the Land of Israel. The people of Reuven and Gad clarified that they would build homes for their families and pens for their cattle, and they would then cross the river together with the rest of the nation and join in waging battle in Eretz Yisrael. Only after the war was won would they return to their families and cattle on the other side of the river.
The Midrash points out that in explaining all this to Moshe, the people of Reuven and Gad made a serious mistake. They said: גדרות צאן נבנה למקננו פה וערים לטפנו – “We will build pens for our cattle here, and cities for our children” (32:16) – mentioning their animals before their children. The Midrash comments that Reuven and Gad gave precedence to their money – their flocks of sheep – over their children. Moshe therefore corrected them by saying, בנו לכם ערים לטפכם וגדרות לצנאכם – “Go build cities for your children and pens for your sheep” (32:24). He instructed them to reverse their priorities – to give precedence to their children over their herds.
We must wonder, is it really possible that Reuven and Gad thought their sheep were more important than their children? Were their priorities really that distorted?
One commentator explained that Reuven and Gad did not regard their sheep as more important than their children, but they wrongly assumed that they needed to invest more work tending to the sheep than tending to the children. As mentioned, Beneh Yisrael captured this territory from Sihon and Og. They took over a territory that already had built cities. The entire infrastructure was in place. There wasn’t much work to do in terms of housing. And so the people of Reuven and Gad mentioned the cattle first – not because the cattle was more important, but because this is where most of the work needed to be done. They figured that there was already an infrastructure in place for the families – so they needed to focus on their sheep.
But they were wrong. Even if an infrastructure already exists, even if the system is set up, tending to children requires hard work and a great deal of attention.
The Gemara in Masechet Baba Metzia praises the work done by Rabbi Hiyya for the sake of Jewish education. Rabbi Hiyya planted flax, and then used the flax to make nets with which to trap deer. He slaughtered the deer, fed its meat to the poor, and used its skins to make parchment upon which he wrote the Torah. He then brought these scrolls to various communities so children could be taught Torah.
It is noteworthy that the Gemara praises Rabbi Hiyya not just for teaching Torah – but for planting the flaxseeds which enabled him to hunt the deer whose skins were then used for parchment. When it comes to education, there are no shortcuts. We need to work hard at every stage. We can’t just leave it to the system. We need to plant the seeds and put in the work and effort to educate our children and teach them how to live as Torah Jews.
Unfortunately, some parents make the same mistake as Reuven and Gad – figuring that since the system is already in place, we have yeshivot and institutions that teach the children, they should be focusing on the “sheep,” on earning money. They think that paying tuition, with all the hard work and sacrifice this entails, is enough. But this is wrong. The system is not enough. We need to put in the work, spending time with our children and teaching them, already from a young age, about Torah commitment. The yeshivot cannot do it on their own. We parents have to do our part, taking an active role in our children’s religious growth.
The pasuk says in Tehillim (127:4), כחיצים ביד גבור כן בני הנעורים – “Youth are like arrows in the hand of a mighty soldier.” Educating youngsters is compared to a skilled archer shooting arrows. An archer doesn’t shoot randomly; he picks his target, and focuses on it intently. Education, too, requires focus and attention. We can’t leave it to the system. We need to get actively involved, and put in the time and effort to teach and guide our children along the path of Torah life.