Once, when I was paying a shivah call, the family turned me and asked, “Rabbi, please tell us, what does Hashem want from us? What is He doing?”
They explained that soon after the grandfather died, a grandson was in a car accident. Thank goodness, he was ok. Then another grandson was in an accident, and hurt his hand. Then another grandson fell and needed switches. While all this was going on, the roof of a building that the family owned was severely damaged. The family was very distraught, and they asked me for my thoughts on the matter.
I answered, “Let’s imagine you’re in a store, and a gunman storms in and starts firing bullets. Only one person is hit, non-fatally, in the arm. You’re that person.
“Would you consider yourself lucky or unlucky?”
We discussed this question for several minutes. On the one hand, the person might feel unlucky, that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, that he happened to be in a store at the time of a shooting attack, and he happened to be the one person who was struck by a bullet. But on the other hand, there is nobody luckier than this guy. He was shot by a gunman – and suffered a minor injury from which he would be fully cured in just a few weeks.
This was my response to this family. It might feel like a lot of bad things are happening, but in truth, they are very lucky. One grandson left a car accident with no injuries at all. Another grandson left a car accident with a minor injury that will soon be completely healed. A third got hurt and the stitches will repair the wound and make him good as new. The roof of the building will be fixed and everything will be fine.
They were very lucky.
In Parashat Ekev, Hashem tells Beneh Yisrael, וידעת עם לבבך כי כאשר ייסר איש את בנו ה' אלוקיך מיסרך – “You must know in your heart, that it is like a father punishes his son that Hashem your G-d punishes you” (8:5). When things are difficult, we might react by complaining, by worrying, and by asking, “Why is Hashem doing this?!” But Moshe Rabbenu teaches us that this is not the right reaction.
Hashem is our father. Sometimes a father must punish a child, or deny his child certain things, as part of his responsibility to care for him, to educate him, and to discipline him. The child does not understand, and feels he is being treated unfairly, but eventually, he will grow up and realize that he was very lucky to have a father who took such good care of him and who raised him so well. We, too, might not understand why Hashem does what He does, but with a little change in perspective, we will realize that we are very lucky, that we have a Father who loves us and who is caring for us at all times, even during difficult situations.
In the next pesukim, Moshe tells the people that they would soon be entering Eretz Yisrael, a magnificent land filled with blessings. He was telling them that even though things might sometimes be painful, they must never forget how fortunate they were, that they have been given so many wonderful blessings. Similarly, when we face hardship, we must remember how lucky we are. Sometimes, difficult situations offer us the opportunity to gain new appreciation for our family members, relatives and friends who support and help us. Very often, such situations remind us how fortunate we are to live in our community, which has systems in place to care for everyone in need, for anyone going through any sort of crisis. When we see it from this perspective, we appreciate how Hashem is caring for us like a loving father, always looking out for our needs even in periods of hardship.
When we feel that life is becoming hard, let us try to remember that Hashem is controlling everything in our lives, and He always loves us as a father loves his child. And let us try to look around and see all the wonderful blessings in our lives, and we will then appreciate just how lucky we really are.