One of the dramatic moments of Yom Kippur in the times of the Bet Ha'mikdash was when the kohen gadol would draw lots to determine the fate of two goats. One goat was designated as the שעיר לה' – a sacrifice to G-d, and its blood was sprinkled in the holiest place in the world, in the inner chamber of the Bet Ha'mikdash. The other goat – the שעיר לעזאזל – was taken out into the desert, symbolically carrying all the sins of the Jewish Nation, and then thrown from a cliff.
The two goats brought for this "lottery" needed to resemble one another. They were to be a similar size, appearance, and price. These two outwardly similar goats ended up with two opposite fates – one was brought to the holiest place on earth, and the other was thrown off a cliff in the desert.
The commentaries explain that two people could appear to be generally the same, but are really traveling on two different paths. They seem to dress more or less the same way and lead more or less the same lifestyle, but in truth they're very different. One is genuinely dedicated to Hashem, and the other is dedicated to עזאזל, to vanity, to things with no value.
On Yom Kippur, we are called upon to take a long, hard look at ourselves and determine which path we're really on. Are we fully committed to Torah? Do we really devote our lives to Hashem? Or is our allegiance directed toward other things?
The Midrash draws an analogy to a person who needs to reach a certain destination, and sees in front of him two routes that he could take to get there. One route begins with thick thorn bushes that are very difficult to traverse, but soon after this rough patch, there is a clear, beautifully paved road for the rest of the trip. The other route is just the opposite – it begins as a clear path, but is then filled with thorn bushes the rest of the way.
So many people who suffer from addiction chose the second road. They saw opportunities for fun and enjoyment, and they indeed had fun and enjoyed, but this resulted in decades of anguish.
The path of the Torah is like the first path. When someone tries to begin observing Shabbat, it is exceedingly difficult. But once he gets used to it, it's the most beautiful thing in the world, and he looks forward to it throughout the week. Learning Gemara is at first very difficult, and even frustrating. But once a student spends enough time learning and gets the hang of it, it is exhilarating.
On Yom Kippur, our obligation is to make the decision of which road we are going to take – the road to ה', or the road to עזאזל. And we need to know that the road to Hashem at times looks scary, it looks hard. The other path seems much easier. But on Yom Kippur, we make the firm, resolute decision to take the path of Torah, knowing that even when there are bumps along the way, it leads to a beautiful, fulfilling life.
I was once walking on Kings Highway during the Aseret Yemeh Teshuvah (Ten Days of Repentance, from Rosh Hashanah through Yom Kippur), and I passed by a facility which looked like a fitness center. Outside there was a sign that read: If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you. This was how they hoped to encourage people to sign up for their exercise program.
I thought to myself, this is the perfect message for the period of Aseret Yemeh Teshuvah! If we are going to grow, we need to challenge ourselves. We cannot go through this period without hard work, without having the difficult conversations with ourselves, without struggle. If we want to experience the unparalleled beauty and joy of Torah life, then we need to go through the "thorns," we need to challenge ourselves.
Let us make this commitment to undertake the challenge of growth, to make the difficult decisions that need to be made, and may Hashem then lead us along the road to a beautiful and happy Torah life, amen.