Parashat Ahareh-Mot begins with the description of the special Yom Kippur service in the Bet Ha’mikdash. The service was performed by the kohen gadol, who offered a series of special sacrifices in order to earn atonement for the Jewish People.
Surprisingly, though, before the kohen gadol brought the sacrifices to atone for the nation’s sins, he first had to bring his own korban, to atone for his own sins: וכפר בעדו ובעד ביתו.
We must ask – the fate of the entire Jewish Nation is at stake; all Am Yisrael is riding on the kohen gadol’s back, and he first offers his own sacrifice?! With so much at stake, shouldn’t the kohen gadol rush to bring the nation’s sacrifices?
The answer is simple, but very powerful and very relevant to all of us: you come first! It all starts with you.
Yes, we should feel responsible for everyone around us – our spouse, our children, our extended family, our community, the entire Jewish Nation, and the entire world. But if we don’t care for ourselves, we can’t care for anybody else. Physically, emotionally and spiritually – our wellbeing comes first. If we are not strong physically, emotionally and spiritually, then we will not be able to help and contribute.
The Gemara in Masechet Yoma (35b) tells of three righteous individuals whose examples refute the excuses that some people give for why they don’t learn. Hillel learned Torah and became a great scholar despite being very poor – and so people who struggle financially cannot use their struggles as an excuse for not learning. Yosef remained righteous even though he faced great temptation to sin – and so people who struggle with temptation cannot excuse themselves from living a devoted religious life. Finally, Rabbi Elazar ben Harsom was a fabulously wealthy man, having inherited one thousand cities from his father – and yet, despite his pressures from business, he learned Torah. Thus, a wealthy person cannot excuse himself from learning because of his wealth.
One commentary asked, why would we have thought that a wealthy person can excuse himself from learning because he has to tend to his businesses and his assets? Do we need the example of Rabbi Elazar ben Harsom to teach us that? Isn’t this obvious, that being wealthy isn’t a reason not to learn Torah?
The answer is that the wealthy man might think, “I’m a businessman, not a scholar. If I spend an hour learning, how much is that learning worth? How much am I really going to understand and remember? And in that hour, I could be making more money, which could be used to donate to the needy and to important institutions. Isn’t my time better spent doing more work than learning Torah?”
The Gemara teaches that this is wrong. We all need to care for ourselves first. No matter how many people depend on us, we need to make time for ourselves, for our own needs, for our own growth, for our own development. We cannot possibly expect to give to others unless we are taking care of ourselves.
On the most important day of the year – Yom Kippur – the one who is the most important person in the world on that day – the kohen gadol – first deals with his own spirituality, before tending to the rest of the nation. This is an instructive model for each of us, each day of our lives. We need to take care of ourselves so that we will then be able to take care of all those who depend on us.