Very often, when we talk about controlling our eyes, we think of it in terms of inappropriate images. That means you see someone walk by who isn’t dressed properly at all, and it’s a nisayon (test) to make sure that you stay focused and don’t turn the wrong way. But you know what? Sometimes an even bigger challenge is when the person is dressed appropriately. Sometimes the yetzer hara (evil inclination) can pull you more when the person is dressed appropriately than when the person is dressed inappropriately. And I think maybe there are a couple of reasons.
First of all, when someone is dressed inappropriately, you’re up for that test. You know that the person just ever, but we don’t see that; we don’t know watch that. But when the person is dressed appropriately, you don’t think that that’s a test, and because of that, sometimes you’re fooled. The second reason is that very often, when a person is dressed really inappropriately, it’s disgusting, and it’s something that any frum (religiously observant) person is really inappropriate. It’s disgusting, and it’s something that any frum Jew looks at and says, “I have nothing to do with that.” But when someone is dressed appropriately and modestly, it looks like it is something that has some connection to us, and a person could feel like maybe that I could turn to.
I want to give you a thought for when that moment happens. I was once going on a flight. I flew to Cincinnati for a speech, and I was now going to go back to New York. So I go to the airport. My father was actually going to the hospital, so I’m really edgy to get back. I’m sitting at the gate, and I see that my flight, nothing was really doing, and I see the gate right next to my flight has a whole line of people going on the flight. And I’m like, “I wish I could just get on that flight. It would be so much easier. Like, why am I on this flight? It’s taking forever, and this flight is going. It’s leaving right now.” So I get up to check, and I see that that flight is going to Chicago. It’s not going where I want to go. And this is the flight that I’m on. Yeah, maybe it’s taking another minute or two, but this is the flight that’s here for me, that’s going to the destination, that’s for me.
You need to realize there are many men in this world, there are many women in this world. Hashem puts one for one, and Hashem makes that connection, and there’s not a million flights for you. There’s only one flight for you. And even if you’re looking somewhere else and you see that, oh, maybe that plane looks better. That plane looks better. Maybe that flight’s going quicker. You need to realize there’s only one flight that’s going to your destination. And make sure your eyes are only on your plane. And the truth is, once I got onto the plane, there were only 10 people on the plane. Each one of us had like four rows to ourselves. It was my best flight.