We are obligated to make a reasonable effort to take care of the needs we have in this world. Planning for the future is not a lack of bitachon. If someone knows he is going to have a large expense to pay for in the future, it is considered normal hishtadlut to save a little at a time to pay for that expense. Of course, a person is only obligated to save only if he is capable of doing so. If someone needs every dollar he earns to pay for his basic expenses, then he is exempt from saving. Even if we are capable of saving, we must always remember in the final analysis, it is Hashem paying for all of our expenses and He will do so in the way that He sees fit.

One area of life that can be a strain for people is paying for weddings and the expenses that come along both before and after it. Especially when the parents are going to be the ones supporting the new couple. I read a personal story that Rabbi Yisrael Brog, shlita, told in order to give strength to other people in this area. The Rabbi said, he received ten daughters as a gift from Hashem, in addition to the dear sons that Hashem gave him as well. The Rabbi got married and already thought about how he was going to support his future sons-in-law in learning so they can develop into great talmidei chachamim. From the moment of his first daughter’s birth, he began putting away a sum of money each month and eventually invested it with a friend. By the time his first daughter got engaged, that sum reached $300,000. Two weeks before the wedding, the friend with whom he invested called to tell him he was very sorry but the money was gone. He then admitted he never really invested it and, in fact, stole it. Many others who invested with this man also lost large sums of money. The Rabbi responded with complete emunah. He knew there was nothing to do to get his money back and he also knew that Hashem was the only One in charge of his parnasa. He said to himself, I thought that I had to save to get my children married. Hashem wants to show me that He could take care of me even without my efforts. Twenty years of preparation were now behind him. But Baruch Hashem for those 20 years, he was zocheh to learn bitachon from his grandfather, Rav Avigdor Miller, zatzal, as well as from his Rebbe, Rav Meir HaLevy Solovetchik, zatzal. They ingrained in his heart that no person could move a finger in this world if it wasn’t decreed in Shamayim that he should do so. The Rabbi put down the phone and said, “Ribono Shel Olam, You are here with me right now. Please give me chizuk. I don’t want to feel lost and worried as the yetzer hara is trying to make me feel. I want to feel Your strong and powerful hand. I want to lean on You completely. This is exactly the way that you want it to be and I am certain that you have already prepared everything that I am going to need for the upcoming wedding and everything else that it entails.”

The Rabbi testified that he actually felt completely calm. Baruch Hashem, he was able to pay for the wedding and although he couldn’t give the couple any money up front, he obligated himself to support them for ten years with a monthly stipend and he was able to fulfill that obligation.

The next year, when his second daughter got engaged, the task of supporting the couple was much more difficult. The mechtan said, “my son is a budding talmid chacham, he needs to live peacefully to develop into the great Talmid Chacham that he is capable of becoming. $100,000 in his account would enable that to happen”. The Rabbi knew that this boy was the right one for his daughter and so, if that was what was needed to get it done, he happily agreed. He told the mechutan, don’t worry, he’ll have all the money before the chupa. The Rabbi’s wife was motioning to him, as if to say, What are you doing? Where are you going to get that money from? The Rabbi told his wife afterward, it was so clear that Hashem sent this boy to them. He knew He would take care of the requirements as well. The Rabbi told his wife to prepare for the wedding calmly, with joy.

He did have an insurance policy he could cash in for $40,000, but still did not know from where the other $60,000 would come. Two weeks before the wedding, he and his wife returned home after being in New York for five days. They found a large pile of mail which had accumulated. He opened an envelope and saw a check for $20,000 written out to him. He opened another and it was another $20,000 check. He opened a third envelope and found another $20,000 check. He called his wife and told her, “Hashem sent us the balance two weeks in advance!” Later on he got into contact with the company the checks were issued from and asked about them. The person on the other line said, “Several weeks ago we moved into our new offices and decided to computerize all of our paperwork. We were scanning all our documents and then I found one dated four years ago. I had made a small deal with someone then and he told me he wanted all the profits from the deal to be sent to his Rav, Rabbi Yisrael Brog from Cleveland. He gave me the address and that was it. For four years I forgot about the deal and the agreement and now I just found the document and started to look into how much profit that deal made. I made an initial calculation that my partner’s profits were $20,000 and wrote out a check. Two hours later, I looked into the matter a little more and realized the profits were higher, and wrote out another check for $20,000. At the end of the day, I looked into it again and realized there was another $20,000 owed. Those are the checks that I sent you.”

The Rabbi was in awe. Hashem prepared the money for him from four years before and now, He organized for the partner to move to new offices so that he would remember exactly two weeks before the wedding about the money so it would reach him on time. The Rabbi added, those were the stories of just his first two childrens' marriage. For each additional child’s wedding, the story was more wondrous than the last.

Our children are Hashem’s children. We try to do what we can to pay for their expenses, but ultimately it is Hashem who pays for all expenses.

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