Everybody loves to hear of a good segula they could do for something that they need. We know that the greatest hishtadlut is always in the spiritual realms and if there is something we could do spiritually, we appreciate the opportunity to do so. But we must know that, in general, the rule is lifum tza’ara agra – according to the efforts are the rewards. The more effort a person puts into anything, the greater zechut it generates. And therefore, the segulot that require the most effort are the most powerful.

A woman, who we’ll call Sarah, told me that some years back, her engagement was broken off after the invitations were already sent out. It was devastating, but she did not let it ruin her life. Rather, she said to herself, maybe I’m not yet fit to be a wife. Maybe I’m not the person I am supposed to be. I haven’t really worked on myself that much. Maybe I need to change.

Not too long after that, a woman approached her one day asking if she would donate money to a bridal fund. Sarah replied positively and then asked that woman how she got involved in that organization. The woman told her, “I just decided that I want to help. You could also help if you want.” Sarah happily agreed and she began her first chesed project.

A couple of months later, a good friend of hers was telling her about her financial problems and how she didn’t know how she was going to pay for her upcoming wedding. She had recently lost her father and they had no funds to make the wedding. Sarah told her, “Don’t worry, I’m going to help you,” and over the next few months, Sarah almost single handedly raised all the money for that wedding. She spent her days and nights making phone calls, raising it bit by piece. It was a beautiful wedding and Sarah was so proud of her accomplishment.

On one of the nights following the wedding, after a sheva berachot, through an amazing string of hashgacha peratit, Sarah was set up to go out with a boy that she went out with one time four years before this. The fact that this boy was even suggested, even though when they went out before it seemed like there was no way it would work out, was itself miraculous. She ended up going out with him and, very quickly, this time they knew from the beginning they wanted to get married. Sarah was ecstatic. She worked on herself and became a woman of chesed. And then, she got married and has been doing chesed ever since.

When Eva, one of the founders of that bridal fund, heard this story, she became so excited. She told Sarah, she took it upon herself to start that entire organization of helping needy brides, mainly in the zechut that she should become a bride. She was 34 years old at the time, whith nothing hopeful to look forward to. Almost instantly, after starting the organization, a name was suggested for her. But when she looked into it, she saw the man was divorced with a child and she immediately refused. But from that day on, the name kept coming up from so many different sources, which forced her to reconsider. She contacted someone who she knew married someone divorced with a child and asked for her advice. That woman spoke to her for a very long time, reassuring her that if this man seemed right, she should not worry about the fact that he is divorced or that he has a child.

When Eva hung up the phone that day, she started crying. She looked up to Hashem and said, “If he’s right for me, I’ll go through with it. Just please, Hashem, give me clarity.” Later that same day, she met a different friend and the topic turned to her situation. This friend completely shot down any argument she had against going out with this man and really convinced her that it would be a good idea for her to try it. And, to top it off, as they parted ways that day, this friend told her, “It’s not a coincidence that you saw me today. Hashem is sending you a message.” Eva started shaking when she heard those words and quietly whispered, “Thank you Hashem.”

The very next day, she saw a different friend who also told her to go for it and she also said, “It’s not a coincidence that you saw me. It’s a message from Hashem.” Eva finally agreed to go out with him and, baruch Hashem, they have been happily married for the last 16 years.

Doing chesed for others who also have the same need is definitely a great zechut to be helped.

More recently, a man who was 42 and not married became inspired to help this bridal fund as a zechut for himself. He extended himself and gave a very generous donation towards their auction. And, not too long after that, he met his zivug. Amazingly, the wedding took place on the same night as the auction.

Segulot are great, but the more mesirut nefesh a person puts into it, the greater the zechut becomes.

More lectures from Rabbi David Ashear

Unlimited Ways to Help Us

Mishna Berura Yomi 127B1 סימן קא סעיף ב באמצע- סעיף ד

The Greatest Segulot

Mishna Berura Yomi 127B סימן ק סעיף א- סימן קא סעיף ב באמצע

Mishna Berura Yomi 127A סימן צט סעיף א-ג

Whatever Comes Our Way