Welcome to our special Shovavim series on humility. We've
been talking about how when things happen, it's up to the person how to receive
it. We discussed how this applies in a
general way, like the Galut of Jewish
people that changed over the 400
years. They initially started off as
sojourners in Eretz Yisrael and they switched to going to Mitzrayim
in a calm way, then there was hard work and then there was
torture because the lesson is to become humbled and it's up to the receiver to
be humbled by the situation. The sefer
Mishpat Sedek on Tehilim by
Rav Moshe of Zolchin was written in
1875. In it he says something very
interesting: When something goes wrong and the person is concerned or
worried it's a sign that he has a pure soul. This is based
on a Gemara in Masechet Shabbat
105B, where it says in the name of Rabbi
Yochanan that when something happens in a group, whether it's a family or a group of friends, everyone should be concerned.
As it says, אחד מבני חבורה שמת
תדאג כל החבורה כולה(If) one of the group passes
away (heaven forbid), the whole group should be concerned.
The Rambam brings it down in the laws of Avelut, Chapter 13,
Halacha 12, where he says, anyone that does not mourn like the Chachamim told
us to do is a cruel person. Rather he should be worried and concerned and check
his deeds and return to Teshuva. He says if one person from the group
passes away… they should be aware
He's telling us that when things happen, it's for a reason, to
arouse us to look into our deeds. and continues. Rabbi Moshe of Zolchin continues
in his sefer Mishpat Sedek "Do not be like those people that are not
concerned at all when something bad happens, they say 'וקבל
הכל בשמחה/Accept everything with happiness,' and they start dancing. זה שקר גמור/ This is a total falsehood. We have to
be serious when things go wrong. We have to take the message-the main reason why it went wrong was to bring
a little humility. And therefore when things go wrong, humble yourself, be
concerned about your sins. Do teshuva.
This is a very important
concept that people misunderstand. They hear a story about a great rabbi whose house
burnt down, and he started dancing in front of the house. They hear that story
and when something goes wrong for them, like a terrible car accident lo
Alenu, and everybody walked away from it, they start to dance. Of course dance. Have Hakarat
HaTov, make a Seuda Hodaah, do whatever you like. But take a minute. Something
happened here and it was for a reason.
Humble yourself, get the message, and then dance. We don't go right into the
celebration without saying, Hold on, something happened for a reason.
It's there to humble us. This is a very important point because if we don't
walk away with a message, we haven't accomplished anything.
I heard a story from Rabbi Yehuda
Ades (may he have a refuah shelemah)- After his father Rav Yaakov Ades had a stroke, he went to visit him with his Rebbi,
Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach. Rav Yaakov was bedridden, and not functioning well,
although his mind was still working. And
Rav Shlomo Zalman told Rav Yehuda (perhaps in response to a question) "Who
knows if one humbling feeling that he has, or one groan that he has will
cleanse his entire life retroactively from any little bit of extra arrogance
that he had."
Now, that may sound like a heavy statement, but it gave me hizzuk,
because when things go wrong, we start getting down, thinking, 'What's wrong
with me? I'm no good.' But we're talking about Kaddosh Elyon Chacham Rav Yaakov Ades. And Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach said, "Yes, everybody needs to be
humbled." We have a long way, we're
not there yet.
And with this, Rav Ades explained
one of the famous questions, which is, Why do we pray for suffering to go
away if we believe everything is good
for us?
You may say because it's painful. But if you go to the
dentist and he has to drill a cavity or you'll need a root canal, you don't pray for him to
stop because it's painful. You know it's good for him to drill. So too, if anything that goes wrong is good for me, why
not just stay with it and accept it? But he explained that the purpose of suffering
is to become humble. And once a person gets the message and turns humbly to
Hashem and surrenders, there's no need for the suffering anymore. The suffering
accomplished what it needed to accomplish. What a fascinating explanation! That
means when the person is in a very difficult situation and they just can't
handle it, and they break down and pray
to Hashem, "Hashem, please, I don't know what to do," that humility
accomplished, so they no longer need the suffering. So the question isn't,
"Why should you ask for suffering to go away if it's good for you?" Because the good is that its going to make you humble. And praying from the
depths of your heart and pleading for it
to go away, is humility. And
Rabbi Ades said that a lot of times we
we don't realize why things are happening and we have to understand why
they're happening.
He gave him a mashal- Sometimes people go to a hospital for
something minor and it develops into something more serious. He said, possibly
the reason is the person was sent to the hospital to be humbled. Being in a hospital is humiliating.
You have a roommate, the nurse has to help with bodily functions. It's not a picnic, to
put it mildly. But if the person starts to complain about the
accommodations, about the food etc, as if he's in a hotel, he doesn't understand. He
wasn't sent to a hotel. He was there to get the message that, "I'm not in charge. I'm not in control. I need Hashem.
Please Hashem, get me out of here!" This is concept that Galut is in the
eyes of the beholder or suffering is in the eyes of the holder.
The Pele Yoetz says on the topic of Galut, that Galut doesn't have to be
that you go to a foreign land. He says we see a proof from the Pesikta Rabbati which tells us Hashem make Succot come after
Kippur because as the Rambam told us, going into exile forgives our sins. So Hashem
said, "Go into the Succah, that's a Kaparah."
The Rambam says in Moreh Nevuchim that the purpose of
the Succah is to humble yourself. You're sitting in a hut. Remember your
beginnings. You're humble. But even when you go to a Shul or Bet Midrash that's not
comfortable, whether too hot, it's too
cold, that's Galut. He says, when it's Erev Pesach and you can't be in
your dining room and you can't be here and you can't be there and you're prisoner
in your own house, that's Galut.
When you go on a business trip, Galut Mechaperet.
But it all depends on how you look at it.
Rabbi Ades said that when he was still a young man with many
children in the house, maybe giving Shiur in the yeshiva, one of his friends came to him in the month of
Av during Ben HaZmanim the mid-semester break. The
friend said that it was brought down that great Sadikim
used to go into Galut. They'd exile themselves. The Chida did it, the
Gaon of Vilna did it… They would go to a place where no one recognized them,
sit in the back of the shul and learn. They'd wait for people to invite
them to their homes to eat. They'd sleep
on the shul benches without any kavod and they'd humble themselves. This friend suggested leaving Yerushalayim
for Meron, sleeping by the cave of Rav Shimon Bar Yochai and going into Galut.
But what were they leaving
behind? A wife and six kids! So Rabbi Ades told his friend, "You don't want
to go into Galut, you want to go on a
picnic! You just want to get away from your
wife and kids. Maybe it's more humbling to be home with
your wife and kids for three weeks!"
It's all in how you look at it and the lessons that you get.
