Raising Our Standards of Speech on
Shabbat
There are many qualities which are important for us to live by
throughout our lives, all week long, but assume special significance on
Shabbat. Thus, for example, we should
always control our temper and avoid anger, but on Shabbat it is especially
important not to become angry. We should
live with emunah and speak about our faith in Hashem’s Providence all
the time, but this is particularly important on Shabbat.
The reason is because on Shabbat, we are like a citizen entering the
royal palace. Although all citizens are
expected to follow the laws of the kingdom at all times, wherever they are,
visitors to the royal palace are expected to conduct themselves on an
especially strict level, and to maintain the highest standards of respect and
dignity. On Shabbat, we enter the King’s
palace, as it were. We enter a sacred
domain, where a higher standard is demanded.
And thus Shabbat is a time when we must raise our level of speech and
conduct to a standard that is befitting the royal palace.
This concept is emphasized by the Vilna Gaon in the famous letter he
sent to his wife and mother. The Vilna
Gaon set out to travel to Eretz Yisrael, until, for unknown reasons, he decided to return home. But when he left, he sent a letter with a
series of instructions for his family, and this letter has been preserved for
posterity.
In this letter, he emphasizes the importance of limiting one’s words,
and admonishes his family not to spend too much time in the company of other
people so that they do not speak excessively.
He then adds:
ובשבת ויום טוב אל תדברו כלל מדברים שאין נצרכים מאד, וגם בדברים הנצרכים
למאד תקצרו מאד, כי קדושת השבת גדולה מאד.
And on Shabbat and Yom Tov, do not speak at all about matters that
are not vital, and even regarding vital matters be very brief, because the sanctity
of Shabbat is very great.
Although reticence is an important value at all times, on Shabbat one
must bring this value to a higher level, due to the special sanctity of Shabbat.
The Gaon also admonishes his family to read works of mussar (religious teaching), and then writes:
וכל שכן בשבת, קדש קדשים, לא יתעסקו אלא
בספרי מוסר.
All the more so on Shabbat, which
is the holy of holies – people should engage only in works of mussar.
The Gaon instructs his family to read this letter each week, and
especially on Shabbat, before and during the meal, as the admonitions in this
letter will help ensure they avoid forbidden and vain speech during the Shabbat
meals.
The Gaon proceeds to instruct that the highest form of yisurim – “suffering” – which brings atonement is not fasting and other kinds
of physical deprivation, but rather רסן פיו ותאותו – restraining one’s
mouth and controlling one’s desire. Self-restraint,
he writes, is כל פרי העולם
הבא – the “fruits” from which our share in the next world
grows. When we control what we say, and
restrain ourselves when we feel inclined to say something foolish, offensive or
inappropriate, we earn our share in עולם הבא. If, while sitting around the Shabbat table,
we refrain from making an improper remark that we feel a desire to say, we earn
more reward than we would by fasting.
The Gaon then writes:
כל רגע ורגע שהאדם חוסם פיו זוכה בשבילו לאור
הגנוז שאין מלאך ובריה יכולים לשער.
Each and every moment that a
person blocks his mouth [from speaking something forbidden] he thereby earns
the hidden light which no angel or creature can imagine.
Shabbat is a time when we are
able to rise above the level of angels, to the point where we even send the
angels out of our homes right after welcoming them on Friday night, as they are
not entitled to disturb our private, intimate encounter with Hashem. The Gaon here tells us that we are able to
rise to this level by exercising self-restraint particularly in the area of
speech. The special light which G-d
created at the beginning of time – the אור הגנוז – was hidden away
after the first Shabbat, which is the reason why we recite a berachah over a candle on Motza’eh Shabbat.
The Gaon teaches us that we earn the privilege of experiencing this
special light, which even the angels are unable to experience, specifically by
controlling our mouths and refraining from inappropriate speech.
Avoiding forbidden speech is
so critically important that the Gaon proceeds to tell his wife that it is
preferable for their daughter not to attend the synagogue, as this could lead
to לשון הרע
(negative speech). He writes:
וגם בתך יותר טוב שלא תלך לבית הכנסת, כי שם רואה בגדים טובים ומתקנאת
ומספרת בבית, ומתוך זה באין ללשון הרע ולשאר דברים.
Also, it is better for your daughter not to go to the synagogue,
because she will see there fine clothing and will be envious, and she will talk
about it at home. This will result in
negative speech and other things.
The Gaon here teaches us that on Shabbat, we enter the קדש קדשים, the sacred
domain, where an especially strict standard is required. We achieve this high standard not through
fasting and self-denial, but by refining and limiting our speech, ensuring to
speak appropriately and restraining ourselves when we feel inclined to speak
inappropriately. If we work to raise our
standards of speech on Shabbat, then we will be worthy of the אור הגנוז, the
special light reserved for the righteous tzadikim, which will shine upon
us forever, amen.
