Welcome to Daily Bitachon
We are continuing our exploration of a central question: if small changes are all that is required—and making them is relatively easy—what is actually getting in our way?
When I was a young man of nineteen, I joined the yeshiva of Rabbi Abba Berman, a tremendous talmid chacham and one of the students of the Mir Yeshiva in Europe who escaped through Shanghai. I had the privilege of learning under him. After a few weeks or months in the yeshiva, I went to him and admitted, "I don't feel like I'm gaining. I don't feel like I'm growing. I'm listening to the shiur, but it doesn't feel like anything is truly happening."
Interestingly, I had asked that exact same question when I was in Be'er Yaakov learning with Rav Wolbe. When I told Rav Wolbe that I didn't feel like I was absorbing or retaining everything, he explained that listening to a shiur—specifically from a Rosh Yeshiva—is not merely about accumulating information. It is about teaching you how to think. Similarly, he noted that listening to mussar is not about memorizing the words you hear; it is about the transformative impact it leaves on you. It reshapes your mindset and refines your character, which is not something you can easily quantify.
Rav Abba Berman gave me a similar answer through a metaphor about watching a clock. He told a story of a man who bought a new watch and later returned to the watchmaker, complaining, "My watch is broken."
The watchmaker asked, "What is wrong with it?"
The man replied, "I keep staring at it, and I never see the hands move."
The watchmaker smiled and said, "If you stare at the hands of a clock second by second, you will never notice the progress. Put it down, focus on your work, and look back an hour later. Only then will you see how much time has passed."
That is precisely what happens with personal development. If you scrutinize yourself constantly, you will never see the shift. As the common idiom goes, "A watched pot never boils."
Hyper-focusing creates the illusion of stagnation. When you constantly evaluate yourself—asking, "Am I better yet? Have I changed today? Why am I not further along?"—it feels as though nothing is moving. Genuine, meaningful growth occurs at an incremental, micro-level that is virtually invisible in real time.
Rav Ades once quoted the Steipler Gaon, noting that mesorah that we have is not be accustomed to making an exhaustive daily cheshbon hanefesh (accounting of the soul). What does that mean? While traditional sources—such as the Chida citing the Zohar—speak of the Marei Dechushbana (the masters of self-reckoning) who review their deeds each evening, we must distinguish between two types of self-evaluation:
- Daily Awareness: A brief evening review of your actions simply to ask, "What did I do wrong today?" so you remain mindful.
- Overarching Evaluation: A broader assessment asking, "Where do I stand overall, and how far have I come?"
An overarching evaluation cannot be done daily; it should occur periodically, and it must always conclude on an encouraging note rather than in despair.
Rav Ades shared a story about the Chofetz Chaim to illustrate this balance. The Chofetz Chaim often went up to his attic for solitary contemplation, speaking aloud to himself. A student once overheard him visualizing his own passing:
"Yisrael Meir, you are growing old and falling ill. Doctors offer treatments, but your strength fades. You gather your family, share your final words, recite Shema Yisrael, and depart this world. The Chevra Kadisha attends to your burial, and your soul ascends to the Heavenly Court.
"They announce, 'Yisrael Meir, you accomplished great things: you authored the Mishnah Berurah and the Sefer Chofetz Chaim on Lashon Hara.' But then, an accusing angel steps forward and states, 'Yet he did not serve Hashem with complete joy, as the verse warns: Because you did not serve Hashem your God with joyfulness and gladness of heart.'"
At that realization, the Chofetz Chaim wept, but then immediately lifted his head and exclaimed, "Yisrael Meir, you are still alive! You still have the opportunity to serve Hashem with simcha!" The temporary confrontation with his shortcomings served strictly to motivate renewal.
This teaches two foundational principles:
Avoid constant self-scrutiny: Day-to-day changes in personal character are rarely noticeable, but consistent effort produces profound transformation over the long term.
Focus on forward movement: Periodic evaluations—such as during Rosh Hashana—must be met with renewal rather than discouragement.
Rav Yisrael Salanter once passed a cobbler working by candlelight late at night. When asked why he was still working at such an hour, the cobbler replied, "As long as the candle is burning, there is still time to repair." Rav Yisrael internalized this immediately: the soul is compared to a candle (Ner Hashem Nishmat Adam). As long as our soul is within us, we retain the ability to repair, grow, and move forward.
