Tonight’s Shemirat Halashon broadcast is dedicated L'ilui Nishmat (for the elevation of the soul) for Luz Elisa bat (daughter of) Henriette and her children, who passed with her in the fire. In their memory, and also anonymously, for a great Shemirah (protection) and a personal Yetziat Mitzrayim (the Exodus from Egypt). Amen (so be it).
We underestimate the power of our simple facial expressions. A smile, a reassuring nod, a warm hello, or a gesture: do we really grasp the extent of the power behind these simple gestures? A despairing heart can be touched. Someone’s crushed spirit can be uplifted. You can literally put lives back together. What a shame it would be to misuse facial expressions.
In Parshat Vayechi, when discussing the blessings of Shimon and Levi, Yaakov Avinu (our father) told them, “Ki be'apam haragu ish.” Now, what it really means is, out of anger, they went out, they killed. But I once heard a beautiful parable, a play on words: “Ki ba'apam,” with one’s nose, “haragu ish,” you can kill a man. Just by turning up your nose, one can cause all types of harm to people. If the person is present and they notice, they’ll suffer all different types of humiliation. Even if the person is not present, by turning up one’s nose at the mention of his name, one can already ruin the person’s reputation in society.
So let’s talk some practical halachot (Jewish laws) about negative facial expressions. One can be over an aveirah (transgression) of lashon hara (evil speech), even without mentioning one word. How? By smirking. By turning up one’s nose. By winking in a way that shows total and absolute disapproval. Here’s an example. For instance, you’re in the middle of a speech, and then you turn to your friend and give them a wink like, “God, when is this going to be over already?” Believe it or not, that’s lashon hara. This can be applied to so many different situations, like when someone makes faces behind someone else’s back, showing absolute disgust or disapproval. That’s lashon hara, believe it or not.
Nonetheless, I want to tell you something about those people. You know, the ones who wait till you turn your back, and then they start sticking their tongue out or making faces? Well, you should know something. Today they’re doing it to somebody else, and actually it does look really funny. But tomorrow, that someone else might be you. So stop for a minute and think. Before you laugh at the person who’s being ridiculed, think: how would you feel if that were being done to you?