In Parashat Vayeshev, the Torah enumerates the different sweet-smelling spices that the Ishmaelim (the Arabs) were carrying in their caravans of camels when they purchased Yosef and brought him down to Mitzrayim (Egypt). Why did the Torah find it necessary to go into such great detail describing what the Ishmaelim were carrying when they purchased Yosef and brought him down to Egypt?
Dr. Rosenberg from Monsey, New York, came up with a very insightful answer. In the times of the Bet HaMikdash, there was the Ketoret, the sweet-smelling spices. They served for atonement; they served for the kapara and forgiveness for a person who spoke Lashon Hara. It says, Dr. Rosenberg, Dr. Rosenblum, perhaps, Hashem caused Yosef to smell these sweet spices to remind him that there's a kapara for the Avera (sin) of Lashon Hara. That was the Lashon Hara; that was the Avera that actually led him into this slavery in the first place. These spices would remind him that he must do Teshuvah (repentance), and that his brothers must do Teshuvah for the grave sin that brought him to his predicament.
When this was mentioned to Rabbi Shor, the rabbi thought for a moment and said, “You know, there’s a big connection here. The brothers first threw Yosef into a pit with snakes. The snake was the very first creature in history to speak Lashon Hara. Maybe that was the first reminder to Yosef and his brothers that this sin is going to need tremendous kapara. And then here again, Hashem sends him the second reminder through the smell of sweet incense, to remind Yosef that he and his brothers need to do Teshuvah for this crucial Avera of Lashon Hara.”
So here’s a halacha (halachic rule). Once discussing this great concept of the reminders in life that remind us to do Teshuvah for this grave sin of Lashon Hara, what is the process of Teshuvah when it comes to Lashon Hara and Rechilut? The process is very similar to the Teshuvah process for all Avera. There are a few steps: Charata, Vidui, Kabbalah. Kabbalah, Atid, and Mechila. Charata means, first and foremost, that a person really needs to feel a real regret for speaking Lashon Hara or Rechilut. Vidui means, the second step, that a person must confess to Hashem and say outright, clearly, that they were over on the terrible sin of speaking Lashon Hara, negative information, or maybe Rechilut, information that caused bad feelings between other people. The third step is Kabbalah, Lashon Hara. Kabbalah, Atid, where a person has to take upon themselves, from this point on, never ever to speak Lashon Hara or Rechilut again in the future. Even if deep down we know that that’s going to be really tough, when we take on the Kabbalah at that moment, we mean it sincerely, and we’re hoping that Hashem is going to help us with this Kabbalah so we can really bring it to fruition. The last step is probably the most difficult, but at the same time, maybe the most important: Mechila. A person has to go and ask forgiveness from the person he spoke about, and ask them to please forgive him for Lashon Hara.
Now, this is a tough one. It’s really difficult to walk up to somebody and say, “Hey, I spoke behind your back,” or, “Hey, I said something about you that I shouldn’t have said.” Right away, they want to know what you said, and that makes the situation ten times worse. Therefore, Chazal tells us that right now, in Elul, is the opportune time. Now everybody is asking Mechila from one another. Now is the time. When Rosh Hashanah comes, when Yom Kippur comes, it becomes standard. So I can walk up to someone who I know I spoke about and ask, “Please, could you forgive me for anything I’ve ever done or said against you, or for having wronged you?” They won’t take it personally, but at the same time, they’ll forgive wholeheartedly.
The Shemirat HaLashon broadcast was dedicated l'ilui nishmat (for the elevation of the soul) Luz Elisabeth Henriette and her children, who passed with her in the fire. It also included the Chatan (groom) and Kallah (bride) of the Levine family, Roach HaShem T'Nichenam, BeGan Eden. Amen (so be it). It was also sponsored anonymously, Lichvod (in honor of) Moshe Rabbeinu, and for Klal Yisrael on the Great Day of Matan Torah. It was also sponsored anonymously for Hatzlacha (success) and Beracha (blessing), and for Yeshuot (deliverances) for everyone in Klal Yisrael who needs them. It was also sponsored anonymously for great Shemira (protection), Yeshuah Gedolah (great deliverance), Besorot Tovot (good tidings), Nisim V'Nifla'ot (miracles and wonders), and Shemira Atzuma (intense protection), for those who need it. Amen. Shabbat Shalom. Kol Tov.