The Torah in Parashat Hayeh-Sara tells of Abraham Abinu instructing his trusted servant to travel to Abraham’s homeland, Aram Naharayim, and find a suitable spouse for Abraham’s son, Yishak.

Abraham begins this instruction to his servant by mentioning G-d, referring to Him as “Elokeh Ha’shamayim V’Elokeh Ha’aretz” – “G-d of the heavens and G-d of the earth” (24:3). Rabbi Abraham Ibn Ezra, one of the great Spanish commentators (1089-1167), explains that Abraham spoke of Hashem in this way “because so-and-so for so-and-so on the earth originates from the heavens.” Meaning, the marriage of a man and woman here in this world has its origins in the heavens. As Abraham sent his servant to find a match for his son, he indicated that although we must, of course, make an effort to find a marriage partner, ultimately, the source of every Shidduch is in the heavens. It is Hashem, “G-d of the heavens and G-d of the earth,” who brings people here on earth together for marriage.

This concept may underlie the Gemara’s famous – but enigmatic – remark in Masechet Sota (2a) that the process of finding a match is difficult “like the splitting of the sea.” Why would the Gemara compare this process specifically to the miracle of the splitting of the sea? Certainly, many people can attest to the fact that finding a spouse can be an exceptionally difficult challenge. But why does the Gemara compare this challenge to Keri’at Yam Suf (the splitting of the Sea of Reeds)?

One possibility emerges from the Rabbis’ description of how Beneh Yisrael crossed the sea. Contrary to what many assume, Beneh Yisrael did not cross to the other side. Rather, they traveled in an arc, ending up on the same side, and the Egyptians were drowned as they pursued Beneh Yisrael. Additionally, the Rabbis teach that each tribe traveled through the sea in a separate lane. It emerges, then, that some tribes traveled a longer distance in the sea than others, as those who were in the interior of the arc had a shorter distance to travel than those on the outer layers of the arc.

The Gemara points to this formation as a symbol for the different journeys that different people undergo in the process of finding a spouse. For reasons we will never understand, and we are not supposed to understand, some people have a longer journey than others. Some people find their soulmate with relative ease, whereas for others, this is a long, difficult process. The Gemara here teaches us to place our trust in Hashem, just as our ancestors did at the shores of the Yam Suf, and firmly believe that Hashem is leading each person along the journey that is right for him or her.

But there is also a deeper explanation of the Gemara’s comparison between matchmaking and the splitting of the sea.

The scholars of Kabbala teach that G-d brings together the souls of every husband and wife in the heavens even before they are born. He later separates them, and sends them down into this world, where they must put in effort to find one another. It turns out, then, that when a man and woman unite in marriage, this is not a union, but rather a reunion. The souls had already been together, and they have now found each other once again. Therefore, the Gemara likens the process of matchmaking to the miracle of Keri’at Yam Suf – where the waters split, and were then rejoined together.

The lesson for us is to trust the process, to remember that Hashem has a plan for each and every one of us. He guides each person along his or her unique journey, ensuring that all souls will be reunited with their soulmate which was set aside for them even before their birth. Even when the process is challenging, we must remember that “the G-d of the heavens and the G-d of the earth” is leading every man and woman to their intended partners.

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