The Torah in Parashat Vayera tells the story of the destruction of Sedom, a wicked city which G-d condemned to annihilation. Before destroying the city, G-d sent two angels to rescue Lot – Abraham’s nephew – who had taken residence in Sedom.
Rashi (19:29) makes a perplexing comment explaining why Lot deserved to be rescued. Lot was saved, Rashi writes, in the merit of a favor which he did for his uncle, Abraham. When Abraham was forced to briefly move to Egypt because of the harsh famine that struck Eretz Yisrael, he and his wife, Sara, posed as siblings. Abraham feared that Egyptian men might desire Sara and thus kill him so she would be available for marriage. In order to protect his life, he and Sara had no choice but to pretend that they were brother and sister. Lot, who had accompanied Abraham and Sara, went along with the plan, and did not reveal to anyone in Egypt that Sara was actually Abraham’s wife, and not his sister. In this merit, Lot was deserving of being rescued from Sedom before the city’s annihilation.
The obvious question arises, why was this considered such a significant source of merit? What was so special about Lot keeping this secret about Abraham and Sara’s relationship?
The answer to this question perhaps can be found in a teaching of the Gemara, in Masechet Megilla (13b). The Gemara writes that in the merit of Rachel’s Seniut (“modesty”), she was worthy of having a descendant, Shaul, who would become king over Israel. And in the merit of Shaul’s Seniut, the Gemara then states, he was deserving of having a great descendant of his own – Queen Ester, who likewise had this quality of Seniut. The Gemara explains that the term “Seniut” in this context refers not to a style of dress, but rather to the ability to remain private, to keep quiet when necessary. Rachel did not divulge to Yaakob before what was to have been their wedding night that she had taught Leah the special signals that she and Yaakob had arranged before the wedding. Shaul complied with the prophet Shmuel’s instruction not to tell anybody that he had been chosen to be king. And Ester obeyed Mordechai’s instruction not to mention that she was Jewish. It emerges from the Gemara that Shaul and Ester rose to royalty in the merit of this quality of privacy, of reticence, of remaining quiet, keeping things to oneself rather than freely talking and spreading information, either about oneself or about others.
Rashi makes his comment about Lot’s merit for remaining silent just before the story of Lot’s incestuous relationships with his daughters, which produced a son, Moab. Centuries later, Rut, a descendant of Moab, was born. Rut, of course, was the great-grandmother of David Ha’melech, and she was thus the matriarch of the Davidic dynasty, which will culminate with Mashiah. Rashi is perhaps alluding to us that Lot earned this great privilege, of fathering the eternal dynasty of Jewish kings, in the merit of his “Seniut” – his quality of remaining quiet when necessary. Lot lived in a society where one person’s business instantly became everyone’s business. He invited the angels – who appeared as ordinary travelers – into his home, and soon the entire city assembled outside his home and demanded that they be handed over. The society of Sedom marked the antithesis of “Seniut,” of privacy. Despite living among such people, Lot retained this quality, and for this reason, he was worthy of fathering the Davidic dynasty.
This area has become very challenging in our times. Today it has become accepted to broadcast everything, to send pictures of ourselves and the activities we’re involved in to hundreds of people using our devices. People are on social media platforms trying desperately to draw attention to themselves – the precise opposite of Seniut. Who knows if what’s delaying the arrival of Mashiah, the restoration of the Jewish dynasty, is this lack of Seniut, of discretion, or privacy, the way we broadcast ourselves as much as possible.
We began by asking why Lot deserved so much credit for remaining silent in Egypt, keeping to himself the information about Abraham and Sara being married. But if we take an honest look at our own habits, at how quickly we rush to spread private information around, we have our answer. It indeed takes a great deal of discipline to keep quiet, and not divulge “juicy” information that we have. We need to examine ourselves in this area, and recommit ourselves to the timeless value of Seniut, of remaining silent when silence is warranted, and keeping our private information, and other people’s private information, private, out of public view.