We started with the mitzvah (commandment) of Ahavat HaGer, to love the convert. We said we have a little problem with that, because there is a takana (edict) in the Syrian communities. We explained the history of where it comes from in the first halacha (Jewish laws). It started in Argentina in 1920. In the second halacha, we spoke about the fact that it is extremely difficult to actually have a ger tzedek (righteous convert). A 100% ger tzedek is very, very unlikely. There’s always a reason. Not always, but the grand, grand, grand majority—the other one says—is based on a reason why a person would want to convert to a different religion, and that, according to halacha, is not valid.
Now we get into our third halacha on this side. This is a point about why this was an extremely successful, maybe painful, but successful idea: the takana. The reason is the following. Unfortunately, assimilation and mixed marriages are rampant. We may not think about it much because we live in a bubble, in a sense. We Orthodox people are not in a bubble; we are not very exposed to the problem. But the Klal Yisrael (the Jewish people) is one; Klal Yisrael areivim (responsible for one another). When you look at the numbers, they don’t go down. You’re talking about very, very high numbers in the 60%, sometimes 70%. 70% of people means the grand majority of Jews marry non-Jews. And even that’s according to the polls. We know these days how true that is. It’s not better because, unfortunately, it’s not true. It’s not true. It’s not true. Sometimes they count as Jews people we don’t consider Jews, which means that it’s not better. The picture is grimmer.
In the Syrian community, the rate of assimilation is between 2% and 3%. This is talking about everyone in the Syrian community: the religious ones, non-religious ones, and everything in between. How is that possible, from 70% to 2% or 3%? It’s almost nothing. It’s because of the takana. I’m going to explain to you in two or three ways how this works. What does it have to do? Two different things. I’m going to share with you three points.
The first is a story that happened to me at the Spiaggia. One time, I was downstairs in the Spiaggia building, waiting for the valet to bring my car. There were two religious girls from Miami talking about the guy at reception. He was a blond, handsome, very good-looking guy. The girls were waiting for their car, and one said, “Did you see the cute guy at reception?” The other said, “Yeah.” The first said, “Oh my God, I wish I could date a guy like this.” The other said, “But he’s a goy, he’s not Jewish.” And the first said, “Well, you could always convert him later.”
When I heard that, it was girls’ talk, you know, 16, 17-year-old girl, but it already tells you that this would not happen between two Syrian girls talking about that. And you know what happens? In the real world, it does happen. It happens that somebody is a little weak and starts dating somebody like this. The problem is that your plan is not always applicable. I know that firsthand. I know somebody who was dating a goya (non-Jewish woman). I had a meeting with that goya, trying to talk to her. Basically, he wanted me to convince her to become Jewish. I did a terrible job. I convinced her not to. I told her, “Don’t say anything, but it’s not worth it, you know.” Baruch Hashem (thank God), they broke up.
But it’s very difficult to convince somebody to change their life. Think for yourself: would you change your religion to somebody else? Even if it’s out of love for someone, but it’s... So it doesn’t work. And also, it doesn’t always work. But what do you do once you’re attached to the person after a year, two years, three years? Haram. The goya is fine. The goya didn’t do anything wrong. “He’s a Jew. Why do you start? Why do you start?” “No, because maybe I could...” When there’s no maybe, you don’t start.
It’s the same in any area. If you have a business venture, you like taking risks. Some people like taking very big risks. But you’re not going to take a risk unless there’s a chance that it works, and maybe there are chances that it doesn’t work. If you have extra money, you take your risk. Fine, I hear that. If somebody tells you there’s a 0% chance that it works, do you start? That’s suicidal. That’s too good already. Among the Syrians, there’s zero chance it works, and that zero chance it works prevents starting with it.
Remember those people who smoke like crazy and die? On their deathbed they say, “And whose fault is it? The first cigarette. That’s the fault. That’s where it starts. You go back in history. The guy who gave me that first cigarette, he’s my killer.” It’s not true. You’re your own killer. But the point is, you understand what I’m trying to tell you. If you start, you have a risk. If you don’t start, there’s no risk. That’s the key. When you don’t accept, so what is it? Throughout history, they never had this. But those numbers are too big. You can’t ignore them. 60% assimilation, 70% assimilation. You have to treat it from the beginning. It’s our fault. We’re weak. Fine, we’re weak. But lema'aseh (in practice), we have to do something about it. It could be that sometimes we have to change a few things.
I remember my father had a cousin in France who was getting married to a girl, a goya, who was converting with the Reform movement. My father said to him, “You know that’s a joke, right? I mean, one day seminary thing. How did you get there?” He said, “My father always taught us through the goya one, two, three days and that’s it, you know.” My father said, “Oh, that’s a mistake. The one, the two, or the three days with the goya. That’s what it is.” If you say zero, there’s no chance. If you say one or two or three, you get attached. What are you going to do? That’s life.
So that’s the key. This is prevention, and that’s why this takana is extremely beneficial, because you see the numbers: 2%, 3%. Everyone is dreaming of having numbers like this. B'ezrat Hashem (with Hashem’s help), we’ll get it to 0%. In the meantime, this is an extremely important thing. We see that it’s been successful in the community. There’s still one more halacha on this.