There was a Roman woman who asked someone, “Once Hashem created the world, what has He been doing since? The world is created. There are oceans, skies, the sun, the moon, the stars, the earth, the trees, and the grass; it’s all there already. What is Hashem doing since then?” The person she asked explained to me: “Since then, Hashem has been mezaveg zivugim (making matches).” Hashem is making matches. Since the creation, Hashem is making matches.
So this woman says, “It’s such a big deal to make matches. It’s like He’s spending all this time making matches. It’s easy.” She had a hundred maids. She had a hundred servants. They took the hundred maids and a hundred servants and matched—excuse me, a thousand maids and a thousand servants—and matched up one maid with one servant. “Look, I did a thousand bashert’s (matches) in one night. I did a thousand matches in one night. Hashem spent all His time on this.” The next day, the couples showed up in the main ballroom. One guy had a broken leg. Another girl had a broken nose. Another person had a broken arm. Another person had a headache. Another person had a big black-and-blue mark on their head. And he realized that every single couple got into a fight. Every single couple was a mess. And he said, “I see why Hashem needs to spend all this time on matchmaking.”
My question is, what does this mean? First of all, all Hashem is doing is making matches? What does that even mean? Hashem is creating the world. It’s not done just because He spent six days of creation. Hashem is continually creating the world. And what happened? Why did this man make a thousand matches, and the next day they all beat each other up? I know people who have made matches. They didn’t beat each other up. So what is it telling us?
I think what he’s telling us is this. And this is just a thought. But I think it’s a good one. Life, b’ezrat Hashem (with Hashem’s help), is very long. Life has a lot in it. A lot of twists, a lot of turns. A lot of things that happen to people. Very often, when a couple wants to get married, they can only see what’s immediate. Let’s say he’s 23, she’s 20, and they’re asking, “Are they best suited for each other?” And now there are another 80 years together. The 80 years are going to have so many twists and so many unimaginable turns that you can never see. When a human being makes a match, they just see 23 and 20. They just see, “Does A equal B?” That’s what this Roman did. A matches B. But that’s not what Hashem does. Hashem is creating and building lives. Long lives.
When Hashem makes matches, He makes matches for the rest of their life. Which means, when Hashem puts two people together, they are together for a thousand reasons more than the ones they could see with their eyes when they march down the aisle. They’re getting married for so much more than what they think they’re getting married for. So yes, they could be a matchmaker. Yes, the matchmaker could be pushy or not pushy. There are no matchmakers. There’s no pushy, there’s no not pushy. There’s only Hashem. And when you’re saying yes or you’re saying no, just stop and say, “This is a messenger from Hashem. Does Hashem want me to say yes to this person? Or does Hashem want me to say no?” If, from what I see, this person is no good, whether that’s clear or not, then I should say no. Even if the matchmaker is being pushy. Even if the matchmaker threw an insult in the middle of the pushiness. If I believe that from Hashem I’m supposed to say no, I should say no. And if I believe Hashem wants me to give this a try and the right thing is to give it a try, then I should say yes. Because Hashem has so much more in mind than I could ever imagine.
He made these matches. Whatever this Roman made, the matches were based on what they saw in front of their eyes. This one with this one. So you can’t even see tomorrow, what life is going to be like. You can’t even see tomorrow. By tomorrow, they have differences and by tomorrow, they’re not getting along. Tomorrow doesn’t have to literally mean tomorrow. Tomorrow means next year, the next stage of your life, the next phase. Tomorrow could mean having children. Tomorrow could mean someone’s not well. Tomorrow could mean someone gets older. Tomorrow means jobs could change. Tomorrow means you could move cities. There are a lot of things that happen on “quote-unquote tomorrow.” Hashem is building the whole world. He’s building all of our lives. Endlessly. So when Hashem is making zivugim, when Hashem is making matches, He’s making matches for our lives. For our future.