And so what happens when a boy and a girl are dating? What happens? The boy says, “I have a date tonight.” Very nice. Here's a date tonight. He clears his schedule from around 6 o'clock for the rest of the night. He's going to prepare and get dressed, and he's going to come home, shower, and shave. He's going to go pick up the girl. They're going to go and talk. No one has phones in the car because it's embarrassing. You don't bring a phone on the date. I think maybe I'm just outdated. Maybe you do today, but you don't have a phone. Then you go pick her up, and you come and talk. You go someplace. I don't know. You go for a walk, or you go to a hotel and talk, or you go to a hotel lobby, or even go to dinner. You have a steak, and you sit and talk to each other. You have a wonderful time. After a few dates, the matchmaker will say, “Now they're due for a fun date.” The matchmaker will tell them, “Now they have to go to something fun.” Maybe they go to some arcades. And, yeah, you have this yeshiva boy who's a matmid. He learns 12, 14, 18 hours a day, and he's sitting here playing arcade games, playing Pac-Man. I wish it was Pac-Man, but whatever they're playing today. And he's sitting there, and it's like a mitzvah (commandment) to have a fun date. Then they get engaged, and then they get married, and they don't have a fun date for the rest of their life.
How is that going to work when the experience of dating has nothing to do with the experience of marriage? When you're dating, all you're doing is talking about fun stuff. You're talking about your old stories, your funny story that happened in school, another cute story, and you share some things that you have in common. It's this wonderful experience, again, over a steak that Daddy's paying for that's a million dollars. It's great. It's great. Now all of a sudden, you get married, and all you're talking about is bills and kids. Where's the fun in that? Maybe every now and then you just say, “I just need a break.” So you go get a quick break, and on the break, you talk about bills and kids. You still didn't have fun. And you'll be like, “Is that a thing?” Whatever Torah tells you, you have to have fun on the fifth date. That same Torah will tell you that you should have fun on the fifth year of your marriage, too. Why is fun only for dating and not for real life? How is it possible that you're going to have an enjoyable dating experience doing all of these wonderful things? How are you going to have an enjoyable marriage experience doing nothing wonderful? When you get married, there has to be a place for fun. I don't know. Go for a walk. Go for a date. Do something fun. Do something that's childish. There has to be a place for fun. I don't know if it's once a day, once a week, once a month, or once a year. It depends on your level. It depends on your marriage. It depends on your personality. It depends on your style. But you're now going to get married, and it's just going to be bones. Like, it's just going to be dry, and it's just going to be serious. And you want to know why people don't love their marriage? Because all they're doing is serious. They go from talking about kids to talking about the bills, talking about the bills, talking about the kids, and then they're talking about the bills again. Like, how is this fun?
For most people, around Purim and Pesach, husbands don't love the Pesach season. Their wives are working all day and cleaning the house, and they're spending their husbands' money. None of it is good. And this is the whole season. How are you going to start to enjoy Pesach? No one spends time realizing the virtue of fun.