You can't just take it. Good morning again, everybody. Good to see you. We'll have a beautiful day. We're continuing our study of Hakarat HaTov. We were speaking about how Avraham Avinu understood that if Hashem planted inside every single human this natural feeling of wanting to reciprocate for someone who does something for them, then, as we said, at the very least a person says thank you. More than that, a person praises the one who helps them. More than that, if they're able to do something for them, that would be the right thing to do and the natural thing to do.
Like we mentioned over the last few days, human nature is such that when people receive something, they automatically want to reciprocate. There's a burning desire inside them to do it. It's not something they had to learn or work on. It's something that Hashem planted inside every one of us. And, like we mentioned over the last few days, the only reason we may be lacking in this area is that we may not recognize the good. It's not so much that we're lacking this feeling of wanting to reciprocate. When we see people who don't appreciate their parents, their friends, what people do for them, or what Hashem does for them, it's not so much that they're missing this natural feeling Hashem put into all of us. We all have it. But over the last few days, we've been learning that what we're missing is what we call in Hebrew Hakarat HaTov. Hakarat means we're not recognizing the good. Like we mentioned, we feel entitled. Because of our entitlement, we don't feel like we're getting anything. We actually sometimes feel like we're getting shortchanged. So this has been our discussion over the last few days.
Now let's go back to Avraham Avinu. He sees that Hashem planted this feeling inside all of us, so there must be a reason. We already learned last week that Avraham Avinu understood that our purpose in life cannot be this world. We also learned that humans were created with many challenges that the other creations, the other animals in the world, don't have. Avraham saw that those challenges were obvious to him and were there to give a person the ability to choose to become godly, to take those challenges, those bad characteristics and selfish desires, and grow beyond their nature. They could become something—to become a giver, like the Creator is; to become energetic and not lazy; to become responsible. Avraham understood that if he was given all these challenges, it was in order to promote himself, by himself, with his own free choice, to go higher and higher. That would be his accomplishment in life. His purpose was not the physical world, but the physical world would be used as a way to promote him to eternity.
Putting all of this together, Avraham Avinu understood that a person can promote himself to the next world by using this midah of Hakarat HaTov. If all of us have it, that means it's there for a very big purpose: this midah of giving back, of reciprocating. Again, Hashem made the world in a way where He would constantly give to us. As long as we open our eyes, we would know that He's giving to us. That's the way He thought about and designed this world. He could have designed it in many ways. He could have designed it so we would have no idea that we're getting something. He could have designed it so we wouldn't even be able to fathom that someone is giving to us. But Avraham Avinu understood that Hashem did give us the ability to understand that the Borei Olam (Creator of this world) is giving us something. He gave us the ability to understand that we need to reciprocate. Therefore, it must be that we need to use this characteristic in order to achieve in our life. Hakarat HaTov is that characteristic.
Like we mentioned, this is what it means to be an eved Hashem. To be a servant of Hashem does not mean we serve Him in the normal sense. When you serve somebody, you give them something they need. Hashem doesn't need us. But service of Hashem means we are giving our gratitude, our Hakarat HaTov. So Avraham Avinu started to think: How can I serve Hashem? How can I give Him my Hakarat HaTov? If this is my purpose in life, how do I show my appreciation? When it comes to a human being, we know how to show appreciation. Like I said before, we give them something they're missing. We praise them. We thank them.
So right away Avraham Avinu understood: You have to thank Hashem. Before you eat something, you have to say Beracha (blessing): “Thank you, Borei Olam.” When you enjoy your pleasures that Hashem is constantly giving you, without showing gratitude. Hashem is giving to you, and then you have to say thank you. That's part of your Avodat Hashem. A person makes a Beracha on the pleasures of life that Hashem gives him, and those pleasures are with us all day long. Really, we should be making a Beracha every second. It's just that life would be very difficult if we did nothing else. But in truth, every second, every breath we take on its own is reason enough to make a Beracha. But it would be very difficult to live if we had to make a Beracha every second. We have to accomplish in other areas as well. At least when it comes to defined pleasures that are a little bit more than breathing, we have to stop and say thank you.
But not like the Beracha that we sometimes make. Very often, the problem with us is that we were taught Berachot as a subject. We were taught Berachot as an obligation. We were taught Berachot as part of Judaism. Part of Judaism is that when you eat something, you make a Beracha. When you enjoy something, you make a blessing. That's part of Judaism. Okay, what Berachot do we make? What's the Beracha on apples? What's the Beracha on mangoes? What's the Beracha on bananas? Then we start getting into the nitty-gritty of these rules and laws. But really, there's something missing. Very often, there's something missing. That's the feeling of the blessing, which is, of course, the most important. The blessing is only an expression of our feelings. But when blessings become a ritual, when we're following the book, we've missed out on the main course.
Of course, we have to follow the Halakha (rules and laws). Of course, we have to know the rules. You can't live without rules. But that's not the drive behind making a Beracha. Making a blessing has to come. Really, what should have happened is that before we learned Berachot, we should have had a question. We should have been home, scratching our heads for days and months, asking, “How can we thank Hashem? Mah ashiv laHashem?” Like David HaMelech says: What can I give back? That question should be bothering us. When we mature, that should be the first question. Then we start thinking, “What can we do? What can we do?” And then someone says, if we're not bright enough to figure it out on our own, like Avraham Avinu was able to figure it out, “Listen, here's a way you can say, you can have Hakarat, that you can give back: Hakarat HaTov.” Before you enjoy something, before you think that Hashem gives you, say thank you. Oh, that makes sense. Isn't that what I would like if I were giving something to someone?
That's another thing that Avraham Avinu saw: Hashem created a world with relationships, where there's a father and a child, where there's someone who gives to someone and someone who receives. That's very similar to our relationship with Hashem. Hashem is a father. We are children. Hashem is a giver to us. We receive from Him. But Hashem didn't allow us to live in this world without examples in our physical life that would help us understand how to deal with Him. So He gave us examples in this world. When I give someone something, what do I expect back? I'm not saying we should expect back. But what's the right thing to do? When someone is given a favor, isn't the right thing to do to say thank you? To appreciate?
If I came and dropped off a check at your house this morning, just because I really like you and want to show you how much I like you—here's a little check for you—is it conceivable that you wouldn't call me? Is it possible you wouldn't send a message saying, “Wow, I really can't believe you did that. Thank you so much. I don't know how I can repay you. I really needed it. Thank you”? That's not a hard thing to understand. These are obvious human relationships. I think most people would be quite offended if they gave someone a gift and didn't receive a phone call back. No recognition. No card. No flowers. Again, I'm not saying we should do things for others so they'll thank us. But certainly, what's considered proper is that people should recognize when someone does something for them.
How often do we look at our children and say, “Where's your Hakarat HaTov? After all I've done for you! Shouldn't I have a little more respect? Shouldn't I have a little more gratitude?” It's obvious. Avraham saw it in the way we treat each other. Why did Hashem give us those types of relationships? Hashem could have made us all self-sufficient: we don't need anybody, nobody gives anything to anybody, and each one lives on their own. He could have done that. But He made our relationships ones of givers and takers. Why? Because it's an example, a mashal, of how we need to be with Him.
So Avraham understood that in this world, if you bring someone to your house and give them something and invite them to sleep by you and serve them food and give them water, of course the first thing they do is say thank you. “What can I do for you?” It's obvious. So Avraham Avinu said, “Oh, wow. Now I understand. You have to make Berachot. Mah ashiv laHashem? What can I give back? At the very least, say thanks.” Imagine that Avraham Avinu already knew the laws of Berachot before the laws of Berachot were written. Avraham Avinu had a question, and Berachot was the answer. Yes, when you enjoy something in this world, you have to say thanks. Again, at the very least, you have to say thanks. So every time Avraham Avinu ate something, he would first say thank you.
And not only that: one of the ways we show our gratitude toward those who do something for us is that we praise them and talk about them. We try to, quote-unquote, help them if we can. How can we help the Creator? He doesn't need our assistance. The answer is that we can help Him, so to speak. Because if He created the world to give chesed (kindness) to humans by giving them the opportunity to become like Him, then His greatest pleasure, so to speak—again, kivyachol—would be that His children would be matzliach, would be successful. Avraham also learned this from the example of children and parents in this world. It's not the greatest desire for a father and mother to see their children successful. Granted, people measure success in different ways. But that's not the issue right now. Whatever a father and mother consider successful, is there a greater pleasure in their life than to see their children actually succeed? How much they put into them to see that success? And then that success came to fruition. The biggest nachat, the biggest pleasure a parent can have, is seeing their children actually be matzliach, be successful.
Well, if Hashem created the world and created us, His children, in order to be successful, again, we have our free choice. That will be our success: to become godly, to become like Hashem. That would be considered success in Hashem's creation. So wouldn't it be the right thing to do? Not only should I thank Hashem, but what about His other son? What about my brother? How about if I help him? Thank Hashem. What if I help my neighbor? Thank Hashem. What if I help humanity understand that they have a father and that their success is in showing Him Hakarat HaTov? Wouldn't that be of assistance to our Creator? That's what we call Kiddush Hashem. What is Kiddush Hashem? Kiddush Hashem means to promote people, to promote their feelings of expressions of Hakarat HaTov to their Creator, by showing them the presence of their Creator in life. How are we helping Hashem in that?
Again, I say those words with caution, because we can never help Hashem. But in the world Hashem created for us, that's how we're supposed to look at it. Hashem made me to be successful, and He made her to be successful, and He made him to be successful. Our success comes from reaching that godliness. So if I help somebody become successful, that brings great nachat, great pleasure, to the Creator, because we are His children. Avraham Avinu understood, then, that it's not enough to say thank you. If you can do more than that, you need to do it. And how do you do more? By bringing great pleasure to the Creator. How? By bringing His other children along for the ride, so that they, too, can be successful.
Now we understand the stories we learned when we were in kindergarten, when Avraham Avinu would bring guests into his tent. First of all, why did he bring guests? Who told Avraham Avinu that he was supposed to have guests? The answer is that he learned from his Creator. By the way, that's another way of showing Hakarat HaTov. The greatest respect you can give another person is not by saying thank you, and it's not by talking to them or talking about how great they are, although both of those are very good. But there's something even greater. The greatest kavod, or respect, you can give a person in this world is by trying to become like them.
If you have a son or a daughter, they can respect you in many ways. They can stand up for you. They can kiss your hand. They can write you notes of gratitude. They can buy you flowers for Shabbat. They can get you gifts. All of those things obviously show appreciation and respect. But nothing can compare to a child who comes to a father or a mother and says, “Do you really care? Mom, Dad, I want to be just like you. I want to be exactly like you.” There is no greater form of kavod, of respect, that you can give another person than by trying to be exactly like them.
Avraham understood that if I have Hakarat HaTov to my Creator, I thank Him. I make a Beracha. “Thank you, Hashem.” At the very least, another form of thank you is bringing nachat to Hashem, bringing pleasure to Hashem. Kivyachol. How do I bring pleasure to my Creator? By bringing success to His children, so that they, too, can make the right choices. Let me teach them. Let me make a Kiddush Hashem. When I say thank you to Hashem, I'm not going to do it only by myself. I can do it myself, but I want to get other people involved, too. I have to promote the godliness of the Creator in this world.
That's why you see in the Torah that Avraham would go somewhere and make a mizbeach (altar). He would build something that people would look around and come and gather. That's what we see in the Torah. It says Avraham was making souls in Haran. Avraham was not a private person who did his own thing. Avraham Avinu was a tremendous mechanech. He was a great teacher. He wasn't a teacher who was given a job by somebody. He wasn't hired to be a rabbi in a school. Avraham Avinu understood the need to teach as a form of Hakarat HaTov. If Hashem is doing so much for me, what can I do for Him? Let me bring Him nachat by bringing His children closer. Let me bring Him great nachat by trying to emulate Him. That's how Avraham knew: you're supposed to open your tent and be a person of kindness because Hashem opened His tent for us in this world. So he tried to emulate Him. That's why he had guests. That's why he learned the act of kindness, as we've discussed earlier.
But when people came into his house, it wasn't enough that he himself made a Beracha. We heard the stories when we were little. We learned that they were nice, cute stories. Someone came to his tent. Avraham would serve him, and the man would say, “Oh, thank you so much. I'm a stranger. You went out of your way to help me. You're putting energy into me. I really appreciate it. Thank you so much.” And Avraham would say, “No, no, don't thank me. Thank the boss.” The man would say, “Oh, wow. You're not the boss. I thought you were the boss.”
It's like a person who's giving out charity, and everyone's thanking him. He says, “Don't thank me. Thank the guy who gave out the money. I'm just giving it out.” So Avraham would say, “What are you thanking me for? I'm not the guy. Thank the boss. Who's the boss? The boss is the creator of this world. He gave me these things. I didn't make them. I'm just giving on His behalf. So thank Him.”
When we read those stories when we were little, they were nice. They were cute. But they're much more than cute. They're a life mission. Avraham Avinu understood that this was his mission in life: to promote godliness in this world. Kiddush Hashem. He understood that the way I say thank you to my Creator is by doing acts of kindness like Him. It's by saying thank you for the pleasures He gives me. It's by promoting His godliness with other people, by showing them how they, too, could be successful. Isn't that why Hashem made them? Didn't Hashem make them so they should succeed? What if I help them with that? What if I went out there and taught people the right thing to do and the right way to be? I taught my children. I taught my neighbors.
By the way, this is why Avraham was chosen. Hashem trusted that this man Avraham understood this concept: it's not enough to say thank you yourself; you have to make sure that other people in your life are doing the same. That's how Avraham Avinu understood blessings. He understood Kiddush Hashem. He understood how to emulate Hashem. Whatever he saw, he was able to understand. Whatever Hashem allowed us to understand about Him, he saw it. Hashem allowed us to see that He's kind. That much we could see. Hashem didn't allow us to see everything about Him, but there are certain things that He did allow us to see.
Hashem is patient. How did Avraham know Hashem is patient? Because he saw there are people in life, there are people in the world, who are not doing the right thing. Instead of doing the right thing, instead of appreciating what Hashem has done for them, they spit in His face. Instead of saying thank you, they use what Hashem gave them against Borei Olam. They rebel against Hashem. How does Hashem deal with them? Does He just knock them off the planet? No. He's patient with them. He shows patience with those who aren't doing the right thing. Oh, wow, that's another midah, another characteristic of the Creator: He's patient. Avraham learned from there: you have to learn how to be patient. And with each and every midah, as much as he would understand, he would start to try to emulate it.
The greatest honor, the greatest thank you to the Creator, is: “Hashem, I want to be like You.” There's nothing greater. You'll work a hundred years for your children; there's nothing greater than having them come to you one day and say, “Dad, you know, I appreciate you so much. I love you so much. I want to be just like you.” What kavod! This was Avraham Avinu's life going forward: the question of Mah ashiv laHashem. What can I give back to my Creator? He started to figure out what the answers needed to be: from the thank you of the blessing, to the promotion of His children becoming more successful, to emulating the middot of the Creator. This is how Avraham Avinu started to fulfill the entire Torah: by recognizing what's out there and using it as a platform to say thank you to our Creator.
Now somebody here might ask: Does Hashem really need our thank-yous? He made this world in a way where He would give to us and we would say thank you to Him. But does it really matter to Hashem that we say thank you? Why does it matter to Him? What does He get from my thank you? Could you imagine walking outside into your backyard right now and seeing a little ant? A very small, little ant. Teeny, teeny little ant. When it sees you, it says, “Thank you very much, sir.” It bows to you. Would it make a difference to you? I mean, you might be shocked because an ant is bowing to you. But more than that, who cares? An ant is saying thank you to you. What's the difference? An ant is a nobody. The distance between us and an ant is a lot smaller than the distance between Hashem and us. We're very, very small. Next time you go on an airplane, look down and see how little humans really are. But we're much smaller than that. Hashem is much greater than us. So what does He care if we say thank you? What does it mean to Him?
It says in Tehillim, David HaMelech says, “Yomam, in the day, Yetzaveh Adonai chasdo, Hashem does all kinds of kindness during the day.” Hashem does all kinds of kindness during the day. He's feeding the world. He's giving energy. He's giving light, health, and berachot. Yomam, during the day, Yetzaveh Adonai chasdo. Hashem is commanding His kindness. And at night, He's waiting to hear my song. He's waiting to hear my thank you. That means Hashem created the world so that we can thank Him, so that we can become those who thank Hashem. That's why He made the world: so that we can thank Him.
The question we need to think about is: Why does Hashem need our thank you? We can understand why we need to thank Hashem. But why does Hashem make the world in a way that we need to thank Him? What is He getting out of it? Why does it matter to Him? That's our mission in life: to say thanks. But it has to make sense on the other end, too. Why does Hashem need our appreciation? That's a very important question that we're not going to have time to answer today. Hashem will answer it tomorrow or the following day. That's a very important question.
Again, just to review: it's clear to Avraham Avinu that his mission in life is to be grateful. And being grateful is done by saying thanks, by praising, by bringing others along, and by trying to emulate the Creator. Avraham understood that. My question, which I'm leaving off with, is: Does the Creator need our appreciation? I mean, He made the world, like it says—David says He made the world. He does chesed. Why? Because He wants us to sing back to Him. Why is Hashem so interested in our praise, in our appreciation? We know we need to do it, but why is that of interest to Him? We need to think about that. The answer to that question will be a very, very important foundation for our life.
So b'ezrat Hashem (with God's help), like I said, we will continue to answer this question in our next session or the following one. I wish you all a wonderful day. Thank you for joining today.