Welcome back, Zoomers and iTorah guys. Torah Tuesday: Hilchot Lashon Hara (Laws of Evil Speech), a small dose every week, a big job to complete. Chafetz Chaim divided his sefer into two halves. It’s not exactly two halves, but two parts. The first part is called Hilchot Lashon Hara, and the second part is called Hilchot Rechilut (Laws of Gossip). Rachil, or rochel, in Lashon HaKodesh (the Holy Tongue), is a peddler. We used to call it the Fuller Brush man. Door to door, they sell merchandise, and by going from door to door, they pick up a lot of information that they pass on. So when the rochel got to this type of forbidden speech, he became the star of Rechilut. Actually, the Halachot (laws) of Rechilut are the ones that are mentioned clearly in the Torah, because it says, “Don’t go out and be a gossip monger amongst your people. Don’t spread news.” Chafetz Chaim says this is a very destructive force. It’s something that is tantamount to “Do not stand by as your friend’s blood is being shed.”
Now, the example he uses is the very famous Nov Ir HaKohanim. David HaMelech was being pursued by Shaul HaMelech, who intended to kill him, seeing him as an adversary, as his replacement, and as a rebellious person who wanted to be king. But it was the choice of Hashem. It was the choice of Hashem, of course, to make him king. But this jealousy and this melancholy were two mental maladies that Shaul suffered during his short term as king. Doeg HaAdomi, one of Shaul’s confidants, told Shaul that the Kohanim (priests) in Nov, the city inhabited by Kohanim, had given refuge to David. David. The entire city was killed. A comment about something that would arouse anger or ire in the recipient caused the death of the entire city of Kohanim. Chafetz Chaim says that’s the power of Rechilut.
Now, let’s talk more about how it works. We have somebody who says, “Did you hear what Sam said?” Already, it’s Rechilut. “Do you know Reuven did this behind your back? Did you hear what Reuven’s planning to do to you?” Any of those comments is Rechilut. The report of this information, which is going to create an inherently negative feeling, is called Rechilut. Even if it’s justified, even if it’s true, just like Lashon Hara (evil speech), Rechilut is asur (forbidden) and could be very harmful.
Let’s take a simple case, something not so dangerous. There’s a person who, for some reason—and I won’t identify him, because I don’t want to get in trouble; I know people who do this—double parks. Even if there’s a space two cars up, he’s going to the store; he double parks. He might block a car from leaving, and he might prevent somebody else from getting a space. But with the lane changes, unless it’s a very unusual quiet hour, he could certainly create traffic. Now, a friend, an associate, a neighbor, or somebody in the community knows that this guy likes to double park. And his double parking is notorious. Yet someone goes to another and says, “You know, your neighbor’s a nice guy, but he loves to double park. Now, I don’t know if he realizes it, but it causes a lot of traffic jams.” He didn’t say any more than that, and it’s true. But somebody might say, “I thought the guy was a nice guy. He’s very selfish. I don’t believe anybody should double park.” He might create animosity if one day he was caught in traffic and missed an opportunity because of the traffic jam caused by his neighbor’s double parking. The negative feelings aroused by such a statement—the anger it might create—are Rechilut.
Even when somebody says, “Do you know what George said about you?” the response is, “What do you mean, George is talking about me? What right does George have to say—what does George have to do with talking about me? What is that?” And that’s called Rechilut. It creates bad feelings just because it was said. Now, Chafetz Chaim tells us, as he begins his journey through Rechilut, that intentions may be good, but they don’t take it out of the realm of Rechilut. If it can cause ill feelings, it’s forbidden, regardless of the intentions.
For example, a mom doesn’t want her son or daughter to go somewhere or do something—get a driver’s permit, go out to this particular place with friends. And in arguing the point, the deprived child says, “But even Auntie Joni agrees. She says kids should be able.” And that’s her sister. What’s her immediate reaction? “What right does my sister have to express an opinion about how I’m raising my children? She can do whatever she wants with her children. I think it’s wrong. Why is she saying that?” So you’ve created, by trying to complete a role of what’s called the majority of people who feel—you bring up somebody’s name and mention they agree with you. That means they don’t agree with them; it creates negative feelings.
It could be that a person is asking for a raise or feels he deserves a promotion, and he goes to his boss and his boss turns him down. A natural comeback might be, “But you know your partner agrees with me,” or, “Maybe your competitor agrees with me that I do such a great job; I deserve more.” Right away, a negative feeling is created. It might be justified; it might be true. But by telling this person what the other person feels, you’re creating a situation of Rechilut. You’re passing on information that could cause animosity in the other person, who says, “What do they think? I don’t know what I’m doing? Do they know more about my business than myself? Are they the ones raising my children, who decide how I should raise my children and when I should allow them to do that? Do things they’re not?...” All these negative feelings can be expressed or even remain latent, but they can just be the reaction that the person has to the Rechilut, and it’s called Rechilut. The gossip-mongering, the passing on of information that can create bad feelings—hey, that’s enough to call it Rechilut. And Rechilut has the power to kill a city of Kohanim.
So a step we should take today is, you know, I’m going to remind myself that before I express an opinion about somebody else’s relationship, it might be better if I don’t. Just give it one second of thought or 30 seconds of thought before something comes out of your mouth regarding something that really has nothing to do with you and might be a valid opinion. Yes, I do agree. But to express it in a way that it might get back to the person you’re speaking about and create animosity between him and somebody else, or you and them, is called Rechilut. The best way to avoid it is not to express your opinion when unwarranted.