Our 11.45 session is a brief session in proper speech. We do this weekly on Tuesdays, barring Yom Tov (festival day). Today’s lesson is part of the daily cycle of Sefer Chafetz Chaim. If you follow the calendar, there’s a brief piece every day—10-15 minutes, even if you do the notes at the bottom. Believe it or not, we finish the sefer three times in one year. It’s not enough to develop proper speech, but it is enough to highlight it for yourself and improve day by day. Today, the Chafetz Chaim is on a subject that is very dear to us.
Rabbi Yisrael Salanter once said, “The 11th commandment—we know there are only 10—but he said the 11th commandment is: ‘Don’t be a fool.’” Which means the Torah obligates us to use our intelligence and experience to direct our lives. Like Waze says, “Turn right, turn left.” Our experiences should tell us when to stop and when to go fast.
When someone known to be dishonest attempts to swindle you out of your savings, or even the cash in your pocket, you’re under no obligation to judge that person favorably. Nothing, zero. You don’t have to give him the benefit of the doubt. But this is a person reputed and well known to be—I could call him a Rasha (wicked person). The Chafetz Chaim, in fact, says that if he is a confirmed Rasha, if he is actually a wicked person, meaning he doesn’t keep Torah and Mitzvot (commands of the Torah), and openly and brazenly violates the commands of the Torah, whether by eating things you’re not supposed to eat, eating without a Beracha (blessing), not praying with a minyan (prayer quorum), not praying, being dishonest in business, or committing any of the very well-known types of averot (transgressions) that would declassify him as a shomer Torah Mitzvot (one who observes Torah and mitzvot), then one is allowed to accept Lashon Hara about that type of person. And we know you’re not allowed to accept Lashon Hara.
The exact guidelines for classifying a Rasha are very, very complicated. Don’t do it yourself. And it has nothing to do with today’s class, because I can’t spend the time it takes to explain it. However, one point that we’ve mentioned before and that definitely bears repeating is that nowadays, non-observant Yehudim (Jews) who have never been introduced to the beauty of a life of Torah and mitzvot are called tinok shenishba, an infant that was captured by the world at large. Rambam says this tinok shenishba—a child who was captured by Gentiles and grew up ignorant of being a Yehudi (Jew)—is not a Rasha. They have no bad intentions, not even a willingness to do wrong; they just didn’t know. And we should know that those types of people make up the vast majority of American Jews and Jews worldwide. The vast majority. We shouldn’t speak badly about them.
So the Chafetz Chaim segues from there and discusses the case of a person who includes himself in a story that reflects poorly on him and someone else as well. It’s like, “Joe and I did this,” or, “My brother and I went here.” You’re including somebody else in a negative or harmful statement that includes yourself along with somebody else. You’re at a reunion, and everybody, after 20 years, 25 years, is recalling high school. A person tells a story about someone who’s not even there and how they did something mischievous. They put glue on a teacher’s chair. The story may be funny, and his friend may not want to be remembered for such a thing. Most people would not want their children to discover such things about them. So it’s asur (forbidden). The halacha (Jewish law) prohibits telling this story even though it includes the speaker, because of the way it might affect somebody else.
At first glance, the halacha seems very difficult to keep. How am I to take a story that I heard firsthand and split it into two, believing it only about the man himself, but not about the other person in the story? Well, the answer is that a Jew has a chazkat kashrut. A Jew is assumed to be if not actively observant kosher, not a bad person, and the status is somebody who whatever he knows he does. And regarding proper behavior, which is called middot or character traits, we also assume. So I have no right to believe that the second person in the story acted improperly along with the person telling it, unless I know the story firsthand. A very important principle. Including yourself doesn’t make it mutar (permitted), and including the speaker himself does not make it acceptable for anybody to listen and believe anything about the other party. This is a very, very important principle, and it’s very, very important to know that including yourself doesn’t make it permissible for somebody else.
Now, Moshe Feinstein, zichrono livracha (of blessed memory), was once praying in the yeshiva, and he had an important meeting to go to. He saw somebody praying near the doorway. That person was in the Amidah (standing prayer), and Moshe stopped in his tracks. Why? You’re not allowed to pass in front of someone who is praying, and he knew that. He considered that to be halacha lema’aseh (practical halacha), which it is. More people should know that, especially when running from minyan to minyan to find the Minyan Shuls, or when having to go somewhere on your own while other people are still praying. It happens a lot in Mincha (afternoon prayer), Arvit (evening prayer): a person finishes so he can go here or there. He has an appointment, he has a meeting, he has to run, but walking in front of someone who’s in the Amidah is unacceptable.
I happen to know firsthand a story a man told me. It was about himself, and it didn’t involve anybody else. The man was late getting home. He happened to be studying in Lakewood, and they’re very fixed with their times and schedules. One night he got home late, and his wife was very concerned because he usually comes home within a few minutes, more or less. He made the light, he missed the light. He stopped to ask something and spent the extra time. But this was more than that. When he got home, his wife said, “Where were you? I was so concerned.” He said, “I couldn’t help it.” She said, “Why not?” He said, “There was somebody between me and the door praying the Amidah, and I wasn’t able to pass in front of him. There was no room. I couldn’t get to the door.” The good thing is, he left the other person’s name out of the story.
Well, the same thing happened to Rav Moshe Feinstein. You know what he said? “I had a wall in front of me and I couldn’t get past the wall.” What was the wall? His duty to keep halacha, and the halacha prohibited him from walking any further because somebody was praying, and you can’t go in front of him. And seeing halacha as a powerful reality becomes relatively easy when you know that's what you not should do, but you have to do.
And now, when it comes to our lesson in Lashon Hara today, if you say something negative and something that’s not so good, and you include somebody else in the story, you spread word that should not be spread about someone else. Including yourself in this mischievous or negative behavior is not a heter (permission) to mention somebody else. That’s Lashon Hara.