Good morning again. Welcome back to Torah Tuesday, wartime edition. I see a man from a bunker in Tel Aviv, online with us right at this very moment. Hashem should keep everybody safe and get everybody to their desired location in good health, soon, in victory. Amen. Amen.
We discuss proper speech at this time, and three weeks ago, Rosh Chodesh (new month) Sivan, which was on a Tuesday, we began the next cycle of Sefer Chafetz Chaim, which is broken down by days into three complete readings and studies of the Sefer in one calendar year. So today, being Kaf Aleph Sivan, we're going to learn one of the introductory notes. It's a quite extensive introduction. You see, we're three weeks in and we're not done yet. We haven't reached Chapter 1, where the Chafetz Chaim lists, one by one by one, all the different auxiliary or subsidiary aveirot (transgressions) that a person might transgress in addition to the sin of Lashon Hara. Sometimes it's based on what you say. Sometimes it's based on how you say it. Sometimes it's based on the fact you shouldn't have never said it.
Today we're going to discuss who is the subject of your Lashon Hara. Now, of course, speaking negatively—which means either derogatory, or speaking in a way that causes harm or damage to any other Jew—is a situation that's called Lashon Hara. But here, he wants us to know that Lashon Hara rarely, if ever, is limited to the speech violation. Let's take a look at today's example. This is another dimension. We have focused, week by week over the last few weeks, on additional sins that might be transgressed when one violates the laws of proper speech. But sometimes it's the subject, the nature of the person you're speaking about, that aggravates the assault.
For instance, if someone were to speak Lashon Hara about an elderly person, somebody older than 60, certainly older than 70 or 80, there's a mitzvah (commandment)—a double entendre—meaning that you should stand up in the presence of an elderly person and you should actually beautify that person's image to others. Two separate mitzvot are also brought in Parashat Kedoshim. If someone is of a certain age, you must rise when they're within the parameters of the law: distant sight, etc., and you should show respect and glory to someone who's a... Now, many of the commentators point out to us that seivah means elderly, zaken means wise, ze kana chochmah (this one acquired wisdom). So when you say, “We brought the zekenim to Moshe Rabbeinu,” we brought the wisest people in Am Yisrael to Moshe Rabbeinu. When you say you brought a seivah, seivah means someone who lived a long life, whether they learned or not, whether they're wise or not.
Now, when you speak about one of those two categories of people in a derogatory or harmful way, you violated this mitzvah. We're told to treat our elders with respect and honor. The Chafetz Chaim says Lashon Hara demonstrates a lack of respect. How could you speak that way about somebody you respect? And if the subject of Lashon Hara is a Torah scholar, the rabbi, the Talmid Chacham sitting in Kollel (Torah study institute), the Dayan (judge) in a trial—if a Torah scholar is the subject, what happened to you? Must respect the wise. Actually, if you disrespect the wise and the learned, you may even go to Kefirah (heresy). If it's a Kohen (priest), it says you should sanctify them, that Kohanim need added respect over and above other members of... Now, what's the danger of this particular point? I want to stress this today. Out of all that's written about this one point of Chafetz Chaim, a lot of people are different at home with their immediate family members than they are with outsiders.
A man can be the nicest man in the office, the nicest, the most respected, the most helpful, and he can be a monster when he gets home. Ask the rabbis who deal with Shalom Bayit (domestic harmony) how many times they find that there's another side at home to an individual who's otherwise respected and well liked and looked at positively. So how a person treats members of their own family—how they speak about siblings, older brothers, parents, grandparents, for the human being when the world is not watching—puts you in a position where you're more likely to sin. There's just joking, pulling a stunt to embarrass, making others laugh. The Yetzer Hara (evil inclination) has a very effective method for opening the door to this type of Lashon Hara. He says, “Listen, give up.” You say, “What do you mean?” He says, “I know you're very careful outside. You go to school, you go to shul (synagogue), you go to work; you're so careful with your Lashon Hara. But at home, you're with the same people every day. So much goes on behind closed doors, so much that's not noticed by the outside world. You can let loose a little bit.” And that's what Lashon Hara hits: an older sibling, a stepfather, a stepmother or, God forbid, the actual biological mother and father.
It's one of the Ten Commandments, an essential mitzvah for being a good Jew. It says in the curses in Devarim, “Arur makleh aviv ve'imo (Cursed is he who dishonors his father and mother), Arur makleh aviv ve'imo, Arur makleh aviv ve'imo,” cursed will be the person who disrespects and curses their own parent. Listen, Hashem created the family. The goyim (non-Jews) today are trying to break the family because the family unit is basically a workshop, it's basically an incubator where a person develops character, honesty, speech patterns, behavior, and manners. And to develop that, you have to be more cautious at home than you are on the outside. On the outside, be careful; you're a little afraid: What are they going to say? What are they going to think? I can't do it. But when you're home, you can let your hair down, they say, but you're going to develop a love of chesed (kindness), you're going to learn respect, you're going to learn restraint and control if you learn how to do it at home. So before you open your mouth and speak negatively about a family member or even somebody who lives in the house with you, you should know it's more important to use that environment to develop proper patterns of behavior, good manners, and respect than it is on the outside.
That's the lesson of day 21. We'll be back at 12 o'clock, a few minutes away, to begin with a very interesting Meraglim lesson.