Understand now: if I said something that wasn't intended to be Lashon Hara (negative comment), it apparently did not cause damage, yet it is still considered Lashon Hara by the Torah, because causing damage is not the only result of speech that is considered Lashon Hara. In this particular se'if (section), he said, “Remember, it's such a great prohibition. There's no animosity, there's no intent to belittle or degrade—just sketching, just hacking. If it's a negative comment, if it's something negative that people consider a shortcoming or a flaw, it's asur min haTorah (forbidden by the Torah).” Now he's teaching us that, as far as we could tell, it could not qualify as any damage whatsoever on the damage-control scale. But mentioning the shortcomings of another person, as this se'if is teaching us, really is considered a 100% oraita (Torah-level) violation of the laws of halacha (Jewish law).
Now, why is that? David HaMelech calls them chitzim, arrows. The scene with David and Yonatan is about arrows. Many times, Lashon Hara is considered arrows. What do arrows mean? Arrows mean that once one is released from the archer's hand, not only is it no longer retrievable, which is one aspect, but we also don't know how far it will travel or where it will land. When it comes to words, it's impossible to know for certain that words will not cause damage. Basically, once the words pass your lips, they take on a life of their own.
There's a little game called post office or telegram, where people sit in a circle or a row, and somebody whispers a comment—one or two sentences in two words—into one person's ear. That person repeats it without notes to the next person, who repeats it without notes to the next person, who repeats it again, and then the last person says what they heard. If you compare it to the message at the other end of the line, there's no relationship. One word was changed here, one idea was taken wrongly here, and one thing was misunderstood there. By the time a word is passed from person to person, even immediately in the same room at the same moment, stories get twisted. It's not what was originally said, and not what was originally intended.
So let's say, for example, some people are sitting around an office having coffee, and somebody mentions something that seems innocuous. They mention something that doesn't seem really crucial to anybody. That story could be repeated much later by different people, in a different place, at a different time, and be totally misunderstood and cause harm. It could be a person missed work for a month, or even worse than that, fifth grade. Who misses school for a month? There's nothing wrong. And then, 15 years later, somebody is considering that person in Shidduch land, in Bazaar land, in the land of making matches, and they say, “I don't know what it was, but I remember in fifth grade people were talking at the time. Must have been serious.” Hello? There can be a lot of reasons why a person misses school. And the fact of the matter is, what does it matter 15 years later? But to some people, that's a piece of information that's crucial, and I have to take it into consideration. As a matter of fact, I don't think my daughter should date that young man. And if anybody asks me why, I'm going to tell them. That's the power of a word.
A word travels through time and space. A word takes on a life of its own. As information is passed from person to person, more theories develop about why that person was absent. And then it's considered fact. The theory becomes fact. And that report, which holds no substance, becomes a damaging report in a person's life. Somebody won't marry this person, who has an absolutely clean medical history, because he missed an extensive period of time in fifth grade. So you have to watch what you say. You have to know that your words are not limited to this time and this place.
And even if there's no animosity, just commenting—there are certain people who like to mimic, copy, impersonate how another person speaks. Or they take some unusual blinking or a little twitch and exaggerate it, so that nobody understands why that happens with this person. Maybe this person has some defect. So, Rabotai (my teachers), what the Chafetz Chaim is saying is that if it's genai, if it can be taken as a shortcoming, the intent doesn't exempt you from violating the law. The nature of it may not seem so bad, but what it could become as it transfers from person to person in the game of life—which is the game of telephone or telegraph—that is what we're concerned about.
Words leave lips like arrows leave the archer. You have no more control over what's going to happen to that statement: how it's going to be taken, interpreted, twisted, changed, and considered fact rather than some joke you wanted to make around the coffee machine, or some comment made at a table about somebody who was absent. All week long, it's mentioned at the Shabbat table. People there repeat it, wondering why. And the reason why becomes a fact. And the reason why is totally incorrect and totally made up. But it's negative, and it can be harmful in the long run. So don't consider only now. The Chafetz Chaim is telling you that you have to watch your words, because they might become harmful. So even when they're said and they are not yet harmful, or may not become harmful, a negative comment about another person is forbidden and is Lashon Hara.