Good morning, everybody. Welcome to part two of Torah Tuesday, excluding our morning Daf Yomi session, which adjusts with the sunrise. Today I want to talk about something that doesn't necessarily sound like Lashon Hara (harmful speech). It doesn't even sound like something I should be worried about or avoid, which makes it more dangerous than an out-and-out slur or a negative comment. Chafetz Chaim in Klal Tet, which means chapter nine, tells us about something called Avak Lashon Hara. Avak means dust. The dust of Lashon Hara is not the meat of Lashon Hara. It's the meat of Lashon Hara. It's the flesh of Lashon Hara. It's the Lashon Hara. It's not the essence of Lashon Hara. In fact, the statement itself is not Lashon Hara. It doesn't qualify as a negative statement or a harmful statement in and of itself. But nonetheless, it is in fact forbidden. The fact that there is a concept of Avak Lashon Hara highlights and underscores how dangerous and forbidden Lashon Hara is. An entire chapter of the Sefer is devoted to statements that are in fact forbidden because they hint at Lashon Hara or because they can lead to Lashon Hara. That qualifies them not as actual Lashon Hara but as Avak Lashon Hara. Let's take a look.
Now, usually a particle of dust is so minuscule. Sometimes you wonder, “What's that stuff in the light in the window?” You don't see it on a counter; you don't see it land—little white dots. But we're talking about actual dust. A person may be speaking words that in and of themselves are innocuous. They're not harmful at all. The first example that Chafetz Chaim brings could even be a compliment. He starts off with a statement that goes, “It's amazing. It's really unbelievable how far he's come.” Doesn't sound too bad, does it? Sounds like he's an accomplished person. But the fact that you say it's amazing how far he's come is sort of saying, “Considering the fact...” Maybe considering the fact that he's not so smart, considering how bad he was—how non-observant, how dishonest. It's just awesome. It's mind-boggling how far this person has come, considering the fact that... and that's the negative. So maybe the intention was a compliment. Even so, the reaction may be a negative.
There are also cases that the Chafetz Chaim outlines where a person says something that's totally good, not considering. On the surface, it should be no problem whatsoever. What could be wrong with praising somebody? Let's say, for example, we have a conversation where somebody was in trouble and that person... He says that in certain situations, praising a person can lead the listeners to focus on flaws of the one who's being praised. For example, I like somebody. I admire somebody. But that person certainly has somebody who doesn't like them, or individuals who don't like them. Or has individuals who like them. And basically, if I were to say, “This guy is so generous. This guy was so helpful to me in my time of need,” there's nothing negative or harmful in that statement. Except that if I say it in front of someone who doesn't like that person, it brings what I call an “oh yeah” reaction. They say, “Oh yeah, you think so? I know somebody else, or I know me myself. I know...” They start to rebut the praise with a negative. You're causing someone else to speak actual Lashon Hara. That's another form of Avak, dust of Lashon Hara. The dust of Lashon Hara would be, “Yes, he has many fine qualities, except for the fact that you're missing something.”
Now, we talked about speaking in front of one or two people, or even b'apei telata, three people, and the Chafetz Chaim says you shouldn't praise someone in public, because the law of averages dictates that if you praise a person in front of enough people in that crowd, in that text or WhatsApp group, it's likely—not unlikely; the odds are that there will be one of these people who actually dislikes this person and will react with a “yeah, but,” which is actual Lashon Hara. There may be somebody jealous, but you're not praising the good of the person. You're praising generosity. You're praising acts of chesed (kindness). You're praising smarts, knowledge. But if somebody is jealous of that person, and you bring up the fine points of that person and praise them wholeheartedly, there will be critics.
Now, they may be reluctant to speak out against them publicly, because they'll lose their own credibility. Yet, in the notes, there's a book called Be'er Mayim Chaim, which the Chafetz Chaim wrote on his own Sefer Chafetz Chaim. It's like his highlights and sidelights to the situation mentioned above. He has to say that if you're with a group speaking about a current rabbi who's very, very successful, like on Purim, we know people that collect a lot of money and distribute it. You're with people who may not like that person because he didn't do for him, or may not like or may be jealous of that person because he doesn't have the wherewithal, or the guts, or the energy to go out and collect 100, 200, 300 thousand dollars and distribute it all on the day of Purim as a shaliach (messenger) for many others. So therefore, you can't go to a group, you can't spend time with a crowd that's speaking about one of those ba'alei chesed (people of kindness), because it's likely they will in fact come and say, “Hey, what are you talking about? Don't you know...” and they'll bring up something negative. So the perils of praise are not considered by most to be Lashon Hara. But it is Avak Lashon Hara.
Now, when he gets to the next little section in Klal Tet, the Chafetz Chaim tells us that if a person has done outstanding acts of chesed or if he helped somebody—he lent me 25,000 dollars when I was desperate, he helped me acquire such and such by cosigning for me, he went out of his way, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera—the Chafetz Chaim says that may bring a slew, a crowd of others trying to take advantage of that chesed or that type of kindness. And in such cases, the impact on the person you're praising could be very negative. So it could be with the ba'alei Lashon Hara (speakers of harmful speech), where you know it's going to have a negative “but.” But it also could be with people that need exactly what you're praising and may crowd the person or rush the person or demand from that same person who did so good by you when he's not in a position to do it anymore. Or it's so overwhelming that the once in a lifetime favor becomes a source of he didn't give me, you think he's so generous but, or even financial harm where he feels forced to do it when he's not totally able. That's our session on proper speech today.