What's interesting is that you never really know whose zechut (merit) is keeping the lights on in your house. We're prone to think it's because of us. But how many husbands who think that they're bringing home the bacon, pardon the French, are actually only eating, only successful in the merit of their wife, only successful in the merit of their children? They have one son who's in yeshiva; they're helping to support him. They have one kid who's building a family; they're helping to support him. And they think, you know, “You're eating on my dime.” But actually, that young man, that young woman, with their merits, the fact that you're supporting them is what's supporting you. And ironically, the minute you say, “Listen, we need to take you off,” or their credit cards are ready now, all of a sudden the business tanks. You never know in whose merit you're eating.
A good chatan (groom) and kallah (bride) are such that they look at one another, and they assume that the reason they're getting blessed in their home with their family is because of the other one. According to this, I suggested when I spoke a big chiddush (novel insight) I want to share with you. Gemara says, “A man and woman who merit, the Shechinah (Divine Presence) is amongst them.” The question is, though, what does this expression of Shechinah, “The Shechinah is between them”? It's a strange language. It's to say the Shechinah is with them, helping them, blessing them. What does it mean, it's between them? And the answer, my friends, is this exact nekudah (point): when a husband and wife are doing it correctly, you know what it sounds like? He says, “You know why God is in our house? It's because of her.” The word ish has the letter yud in it. The word ishah has the letter hey in it. Yud and hey, he's looking at the hey in her name and saying, “Look, she's bringing spirituality into our home. She's bringing blessing into our home. You want to know why our kids turned out the way they turned out? It's because of her. You want to know why our Shabbat is so warm? It's because of her. You want to know why we have blessing? Why we have health? Why we have love? Why we have a good marriage? It's because of her. Her forgiveness, her soft touch, her love. She taught me to fill in the blank.”
But she, what is she doing? Exactly the opposite. She said, “Are you joking? You know what we would be without the yud in my husband's name? Shechinah beineihem means that each one is trying to push the sachar (reward) on the other one. And where does the Shechinah wind up getting left as each one is pushing towards the other? Beineihem. In between the two.”