A man related that a family member of his betrayed him in business, and he is completely devastated by it. The financial loss alone is hard to deal with, but being hurt by a family member makes it so much harder. He wanted to know: Was it from Hashem, or did this person do an aveirah and harm him with his own free will?
I told him there is no question that it came from Hashem. Yes, if the person did something wrong, he will be held accountable for it. But as far as we are concerned, what happened was meant for us and it had to happen. Although it is very difficult to deal with, we know that Hashem only does what is absolutely best for us. That means that for reasons we cannot understand, the loss of money, as well as the pain from the betrayal, were the best things that could have happened to this person, or else Hashem would not have allowed them to happen. We have no idea what yissurin in this world save us from, both here and in the Next World, but Hashem does. He is the only One who knows what we truly need to experience for our own good.
On the surface level, Yosef HaTzaddik was "betrayed" by his own brothers. The pain of what he went through must have been extremely difficult, all the more so because it came at the hands of his own flesh and blood. But Yosef heroically overcame the challenge and said the most beautiful words to them years later: "It wasn't you who sent me here; it was Hashem." And ultimately, they were able to see that Hashem had done it for the greatest reasons.
A person may not be halachically obligated to forgive someone who hurt him and does not feel remorse. But if he is able to overcome his natural feelings of resentment and replace them with feelings of emunah, and bring about shalom, that is considered a heroic act. As the Gemara says, when someone overlooks the wrongdoings that others do to him, Hashem overlooks that person's sins. What better time to utilize an opportunity to gain forgiveness than now, as we approach the awesome day of Rosh Hashanah.
It may require superhuman strength, but we have that ability. A person could say, "Hashem, I know You want peace in the family, and so for Your sake, I am going to do what I can to keep it." Yosef HaTzaddik completely forgave his brothers for what they did to him. He was able to hug the very same people who wanted to kill him and eventually sold him into a foreign land. The Torah does not tell us these stories merely so that we should know what happened. It tells them to us so that we can learn from them and emulate our great ancestors.
There are times when we ask Hashem for certain blessings that we may be unworthy of receiving. But Hashem, in His infinite kindness, may give a person a situation in which he has the opportunity to perform a heroic act. Perhaps that heroic act will become the zechut through which he receives the blessing he has been seeking. Bringing about shalom and harmony at a time when it is so difficult is certainly a heroic act, and it can bring down a tremendous amount of berachah.
If a person could say, "Perhaps Hashem is giving me an opportunity right now to perform a heroic deed, and I'm going to rise to the occasion," that can give him additional motivation to overcome his feelings. We can never lose by going above and beyond. It may be uncomfortable, and it may even hurt, but the rewards will certainly be worth the effort.