In this week's parashah, Chaye Sarah, we read about the shidduch of Yitzchak and Rivka. When Eliezer came to Rivka's family to arrange the marriage, Lavan and Betuel responded, "מֵה' יָצָא הַדָּבָר" — "This matter came from Hashem."
Chazal tell us that a person's zivug is determined in Shamayim. Sometimes a person can be waiting a very long time for a shidduch, and it seems like nothing is changing. They've tried so many possibilities, and none have worked out. They begin to wonder if they're ever going to find their zivug.
We must always remember that Hashem has already chosen every person's zivug, and when the time comes, Hashem has unlimited ways of bringing couples together. Rivka Imenu was living so far away from Yitzchak, in a family whose values were completely different from those of Avraham. Who would have imagined that she would end up marrying Yitzchak, the son of the Gadol HaDor? But when Hashem decided it was time, everything fell into place.
Eliezer arrived, Rivka came out to the well at exactly the right moment, and all of a sudden, the shidduch was arranged.
A person's zivug comes from Hashem, regardless of what appears to have brought the marriage about. Sometimes people think a shidduch happened because of a person's good family, good looks, or wealth. But the pesukim tell us otherwise.
Eliezer was looking for a girl from a good family for Yitzchak, but the Torah tells us, "מֵה' יָצָא הַדָּבָר." Shimshon wanted to marry a girl because she was beautiful in his eyes, but the Navi tells us, "כִּי מֵה' הִיא" — it was really from Hashem. And in Mishlei it says, "בַּיִת וָהוֹן נַחֲלַת אָבוֹת וּמֵה' אִשָּׁה מַשְׂכָּלֶת" — a house and wealth can come from inheritance, but a wife comes from Hashem.
It may appear that a person married because of wealth, looks, or family, but in reality, it's the opposite. First, Hashem determined the zivug, and then He arranged the circumstances that brought them together.
A woman told me an amazing story about how her brother-in-law found his shidduch. She and her sister-in-law had been put in charge of finding the right girl for him. For months, they were going through résumés, asking questions, and discussing different possibilities.
They were working very hard, but nothing was working out. One afternoon, their mother-in-law told them it was time to make a decision. They had to come up with a girl for him to go out with.
The two sisters-in-law got on the phone and started discussing all their options. They went through one girl after another, reviewing all the information they had gathered. There was one girl they were seriously considering, but they were uncertain for a couple of reasons and didn't feel comfortable saying yes.
This conversation went on for more than two and a half hours. Finally, the woman telling me the story said, "I can't do this anymore. My children are waiting for me. I have to get off the phone."
But her sister-in-law persisted. "No, we have to decide. Our mother-in-law is waiting for us."
They were both exhausted and frustrated. They had spent so much time trying to figure out which girl would be right, and they still didn't have an answer.
Then, out of nowhere, the woman mentioned a name they had considered several months earlier. Let's call her Rachel Stein.
She said, "I'm not really sure who the right girl is. Who knows? It could even be Rachel Stein."
They hadn't discussed her at all that evening, and her name hadn't even come up in the last couple of months. The woman herself couldn't explain why she suddenly said that name.
But just then, she heard the call-waiting signal on her phone. She said, "I really have to go now. Someone else is calling."
She hung up and answered the other call.
"Hello, this is Rachel."
The woman asked, "Who?"
"Rachel Stein."
She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had just mentioned that exact name, and now Rachel Stein herself was calling her!
Rachel explained, "I'm a teacher in your daughter's school, and I work with girls who need extra help in math. Your daughter is going to be coming to me for help with multiplication for the rest of the year. I just wanted to let you know."
The mother knew from the résumé that Rachel worked in her daughter's school, but she had never spoken to her before. She started talking to her, and within minutes, she was amazed by what she heard. Rachel had such a warm, bubbly personality, exactly what they wanted for their brother-in-law.
As they continued talking, she realized this could be the one. After spending more than two and a half hours trying to decide on a girl, all it took was a three-minute conversation to give her a completely new perspective.
She got off the phone excited and made a lot of additional inquiries that night. Then she called her mother-in-law and said, "I have the girl!"
She suggested Rachel Stein, and Baruch Hashem, the shidduch came to fruition.
But the story didn't end there.
A few days later, the woman discovered something very strange. Her daughter didn't need any extra help in multiplication at all. In fact, she was one of the best in the class in that subject. She didn't belong in that pull-out group in the first place, and they stopped sending her.
Somehow, she had "accidentally" been included in the group, and because of that, Rachel had a reason to call her. And that call came at the exact moment she had just mentioned Rachel's name for the first time in months.
The hashgachah was so clear.
מֵה' יָצָא הַדָּבָר.
No matter how long a person has been waiting or how unlikely a shidduch may seem, Hashem can bring it about in ways we could never imagine. We must never give up hope. When the right time comes, יְשׁוּעַת ה' כְּהֶרֶף עַיִן — Hashem's salvation can come in the blink of an eye.
Shabbat Shalom.