The Talmud Torah (2nd Part)

Last week we talked about when the boy starts Betsefer, he starts school, then the father has to show up, the father is responsible for the victory of Limú Torá. The Torah has given the father the obligation to transmit the values we have received from Arsinay until today. Today we also talked about how at this stage a situation would arise in which the boy who goes to a religious school will learn Limú del Kodesh, studies that are considered holy, they are holy, why holy? First, they must be studied and understood but never discussed, because they are given by Hashem, blessed be His name. These studies work on the soul, they are more for the soul than for the body and there are common studies, which are studies developed by human beings, which have to do more with a profession, with one's preparation so that one can have a job in the future, called Limú Dei Hol. So one must be clear about these two concepts, to not mix them up, and to know that Limú Dei Hol, the studies that are not Torah studies, can change, and are not an absolute truth. History depends on who wrote it, geography can be, but it is also changing, rivers, seas, climates are changing, mathematics is quite exact, but it is being perfected more and more, medicine has changed. Medicine has completely changed in recent years, physics is also developing more and more, and still has many doubts, it is the same light, it is not known how to define what it is, there are several theories, and so on. So at this age of primary school, the age of Talmud Torah, it is a wonderful age to teach the boy a lot of things. We cannot just stay in the study part, in what he knows, what grades he gets, no, it is the age of education. There was an educator who once told me, I think that after Bar Mitzvah there is nothing more to do, he is already formed. If there is nothing to do, the father, the mother, many have nothing to do, he can do, he can do, even until 100 years of age, but it is as if it is already difficult for us to penetrate and influence. So this age from 6 to 13 years, when the boy goes to school, there are many things we must take advantage of to teach and educate, it does not matter if he is a good student, if he is a bad student, if he is better in one subject, or not so good in another subject, this is secondary. We do not want a computer here; sometimes a rabbi was asked if a computer that has all the Torah in its memory should be stood up when someone carries it from one side to the other, do we have to stand up? He answered no, because it is not enough to have the Torah, it must be put into practice; the computer does not put it into practice. We should not think that only knowledge is important; it is the fact that the best age to educate is really the age when the boy begins to understand things, he has to leave his home, he has to go to school every day, for him it is a new world every day, every day has a novelty, every day he is growing and developing. Let us take advantage of this age. I put there that there are three basic steps in education. The first, education in Hebrew is called chinuj. Chinuj comes from inaugurate, to initiate; beginnings are basic. A person must always celebrate the beginning. The Torah already teaches us that today we sing in the Beit HaKnesset; all beginnings must be joyful and celebrated. Why? Because when I celebrate something, I am showing that this is important. So I celebrate the beginnings to show my son that the first day he went to school, we had a big party. Schools do this, but parents must participate. The first day he studied Chumash, we have a party. The first day he studied Mishnah, we have a party. The first day he put on tefillin, we have a party. Bar Mitzvah, we have a party. Always show that we are happy, that it is important, that it has a lot of value, and then we mark a course, we mark a course, this is the path to follow. Another thing that is also worth paying attention to is that a mitzvah done with joy is not the same as a mitzvah done without joy. Mitzvot done without joy are worth at least 100 times less than those done with joy. When the boy begins to fulfill something, study something, take a new step in life, and we celebrate it, he will always remember this celebration, and every time he does this, he will do it with joy, with satisfaction. So we teach him to be happy in what he is doing. And besides, there are two ways to start a journey, either worried about what will happen on the journey or hopeful of reaching the end well and with joy. We teach ourselves to look with joy. A hope for the future when we start everything, all the ginux, all the beginning must always be with joy. It is a foundation for us, to celebrate and celebrate and celebrate. Our homes must be such that every day we have some reason to make a celebration or to give gifts, for something special, that joy be constant within us. The second is limut. The word limut in Hebrew, when we want to say that someone is accustomed to something, we say sehu lamed, lamed means to be accustomed, constancy. If I started very well, then I do not continue, what good is it? It is the age to teach constancy. Life is not a vacation. One went, came back, and that’s it, it’s over, and stored the photos. Life is life. The concepts we need to teach must be concepts that stay with us forever, that I can use every day. A person is his habits. There are people you talk to after some years. They say, why don’t you do such a thing? I am not used to it. It is nice. Let’s not talk about a cigarette that one does not want to quit because he is already used to smoking it. Let’s talk about other things. Good things. He knows that this is good for him. He is not used to it. The habit remains deeply marked in one. Argentines go to Israel and take mate. Why? Because they are used to drinking mate. It stays with them wherever they go. That is the habit. When habits start to form in a boy at this age, he begins to get used to them. So let’s work at this age on good habits that will stay with him forever. For example, order. I noted some here. I may have forgotten. I surely forgot many. But let’s do some. Order. There are orderly kids and there are disordered kids. Who will find it easier in life to be orderly? There was a great educator in Europe. What will he do? What will he do? What will he do? What will he do? What will he do? What will he do? What will he do? What will he do? What will he do? What will he do? When he visited a school, they took him to the yeshiva, where they slept. They took him to the Ben Midrash. First, I want to see the rooms. He entered the rooms and looked at the closets. Let’s see how the boys organize their clothes in the closets. Are they arranged, are they well organized? If the closets are organized, the ideas are also organized. A well-organized notebook? Something? Something? Something? Something? Something? Something? Something? Something? Notes? Knowing how to synthesize, knowing how to write a word that reminds him of everything else. Having order in life. If you took out the clothes, where do you hang them? Where do you put your things? Where are your toys? To organize the toys? No. The kids are very orderly. The mom organizes them every day. Or the daughter organizes them. He throws them. No. Order in life is worth a lot. In fact, when He took us out of Egypt, He divided us into twelve tribes, He put order. This one to the north, this one to the south, this one to the east, this one goes first, this one goes last. The Torah is all order. One is a Hazan, the other is a Cohen. In the house, one is for Kiddush, the other is a Hazan. Everything is ordered. It is impossible to be a good Jew without having order. So, how important. Who are the ones who teach? This is not innate. I wanted to make a small observation. I think we talked about it in other Shurim, other occasions. There is nature and there are virtues. Nature, one is born with it. For example, there are people who have very good eyesight. They can see very far. Many do not need glasses. I also do not have such good eyesight. This is nature. I cannot change it. There are kids who are born with a prodigious memory. I have known kids. The other day a little one, one of my grandchildren, stood next to me in the Beit HaKnesset at night. And then he tells me, Grandpa, 176 people shook your hand. He was counting. He has a good head for numbers. Maybe there is another who will get lost in the numbers. There was a rabbi who lived in Yerushalayim who was prodigious with numbers. And then they said, you always quickly calculate how many books are in this library, how many people were sitting there. How far do they go? Then I went out, they were walking, I saw a tree. I said, I can tell you how many leaves are on this tree. And what is this? A gift from Hashem. One is good with numbers, another is good with history, a memory for cases, another for faces, another for listening, this is nature. It cannot be changed. Nature cannot be changed. If a boy was born without a very good memory, we teach him to take notes, to write, all this will make it easier for him. If a boy was born with poor eyesight, we give him glasses. Nature cannot be changed. Parents need to study, know our children to understand their nature and not go against nature. Because if not, there are kids who find it hard to sit and study. Let’s see, what do they know how to do? I will work with what they know how to do. Encourage them. But midot, no. Feelings, no. Virtues, no. There, yes, you can work, you can change. A person who is selfish can be generous, one who is a little sad can be happy, it can be changed. So one must know how to understand nature to know how to develop it, how to help it. Each person came into the world as he is, taken from the clay, he was made because he has his function, his moment, his place, he will have his invention. He will invent something, he will do something that no one has done. Nothing more, we as parents knowing him, we encourage him in this. The successful person in life is the one who does what he knows how to do and likes to do. And the unsuccessful ones are those who try to do what they do not like to do and do not know how to do well, but it got into their heads. I was a kid and had a friend in yeshiva, and the dad was a merchant there in San Pablo. And we went to this man’s house, and he knew everything, about Gemara, about Midrash, and spoke well, explained well. It was a pleasure to be with him, but he was a merchant. And he was doing poorly, and he was doing poorly, and his business was not going well, and he went bankrupt, and it was not going well, but he insisted that he had to be a merchant. He would have been a Moreh, he would have been a Rabbi, he would have had fantastic success. He was in the wrong place. And so some also have to be sent to commerce. Each one as Hashem made him. So one must know the nature of the person, of the boy. Knowing that this nature has no change, nature. Midot, yes, they can be improved, perfected. The bad Midot, the defects, the bad qualities they have can be annulled, can be lowered, and the good ones can be enhanced. Study is a work that depends on constancy and effort. It is a work that depends on how we teach them. In schools, there are very good kids, very good students, and they are always the most successful in life. In Hebrew, there is an expression that no one disputes. Haakshan and atliah. The haakshan, the persistent one, the one who insists, this one will have success. So we start teaching the kids order. Organizing things, organizing their clothes, how he has to be dressed, neat, his closets, his notebooks, his suitcase, his backpack, his room, his books, his things. This is, we have to teach them well, as we taught them to ask to go to the bathroom when they were little, as we taught them a lot of things, we are also teaching them this, it is very important in life. Schedules are part of the order of life. If he does not go to bed early, he will not wake up early. And if he does not wake up early, he will not arrive on time. And if he does not arrive on time, and if he is going to miss the bus, and if he leaves without having breakfast, or without eating something before leaving, how many things. One has schedules. One starts teaching them schedules. Eating schedules, eating schedules. A home must have eating schedules. Do we have dinner? What time do we have dinner when dad arrives? No, it does not work. The boy has to have dinner at his schedules. Normally a boy has to have dinner at seven. At eight he has to be asleep. And he sleeps his ten, eleven hours. And at seven he wakes up again. Fresh. At eight he is at school. He needs to sleep eleven, twelve hours. No, we wait for dad, that’s wrong. Dad can eat later when he arrives, greet him a little when he is in bed. The boy has to have his schedules. For eating, for sleeping, for waking up. The Torah teaches us this. It has schedules. It has a schedule when it starts and when it ends. It has a schedule. It has a schedule. Everything has a schedule. The most important gift that can be given to a Jew is a watch. Because he needs it constantly. Because I cannot lose this, I cannot lose that, nothing can happen to me. So, teach schedules. Teach what to eat, how to eat, in what way, order in food. These are things. This is the age. Now, the age of primary school. Teach a scale of values. What is important, what is not important. What is dangerous, what is not dangerous. Teach reading. Although for many it is going out of style. It is not so. The books you see here will never lose their value for us. Reading is very important for the boy. But this is a teaching. First, we bring books with many drawings and few words. Then we read with more and more words, with more words. Until they find a page where there are a lot of little letters in the middle and on the back in two or three different languages with two or three different formats of letters. But it will not be difficult for him because he is already used to reading. I remember when I traveled at 14 years old to yeshiva. So I left back then in 1966, the trip was not so easy. I left from Bethlehem and went to Rio de Janeiro by plane. But it took me three days. The flight took three and a half hours. But I went along the coast because it was a military plane. But we did not have money to buy a regular ticket. So the military plane went along the coast and stopped at all the airports. It went up, went down, went up, went down. We knew we had three days of flight. What did I take? Books! I can remember my sins here. I looked for the thickest book there was. War and Peace by Tolstoy. After yeshiva, of course, I took other books. A book like that. Because we were used to reading. We had been taught reading. Not machines or games or crosswords. Reading. Nowadays there are so many nice things to read. And we must get the kids used to reading. You are going to bed, go to bed with a book. You are going somewhere that you have to wait a while, take a book. We must teach them the habit of reading. It is a habit. And this is learned at this age. Then they walk around with the book under their arm. Maybe they take it and want to learn by osmosis. Very difficult. So, in short, these are the moments we must teach them how to speak. What terms are used. Say please. We must teach them the scales of values. What is worth it and what is not. What is vain and what is not worth striving for. And what is important. Nowadays we spend so much money on things that are not important. That will soon be lost. And we have nothing left. And suddenly when we have to invest in something that is really important, it costs us. And more than anything, teach them customs of yirat shamayim. The berachot. The tefilot. Before eating, say the berachah. After eating, say the berachah. How is this taught? With a little song, with a reward. And with one in the sense of the following way. The mom, instead of saying come to dinner, come to say the berachah. Go to sleep to say Kriat Shema in the middle. It’s time for Mincha. Oh, we are losing the time for Mincha. Not always does the boy have to go to the Beit Knesset, he is still little. But the tefilot he continues to teach to do at home. Surely he must do it. So, limut means constancy. It means habit. Man is a creature of habit. As he gets used to it, we now have a visit from a very great rabbi. So, the wine of this year, after what was here, is the same person. His habits, how he gets up, how this, how that, how he does the other. The person, when he enters a system, and this system is good and correct, it stays with him for life. The mom and dad must know that when they can insert a healthy habit in their child, they have given the best inheritance forever. They are giving a great value because this will never be lost. A good habit. The third point is the example. The example, the boy at this age captures everything. And the example is what will be engraved in him. There is a story that we always tell, but it is worth repeating, that happened in Israel. There was a man who worked in a factory. He was there every day at six in the morning. He bathed, did tefilah. At seven he left home. That is, he went to the factory. The children left a little later, that is, generally, when the kids got up, he had already left home. At night he arrived very tired. Then he ate something and the kids were there awake at the time he arrived from work, six, seven in the evening. And then, to set an example, he said, I am going to take a shiur, a fixed Torah course at this time. Dad, where are you going? To the course. I am going to Beit Knesset, I do my Maariv and I am going to study. Oh, dad is going to study, it is a good example. But he was so tired that he rested his head on the Gemara and fell asleep. And in all the courses, he fell asleep. They say there is a system, right?, to teach languages. In the recorder below... I don’t know if you can study Gemara like that. But anyway, he fell asleep. Because he did not study anything. But the kids saw that their dad went to the course, it is a good example. So one day he got tired of this story. He went to the rabbi. And he said, rabbi, what do I do? The truth is I am not studying. I found a course from six-thirty to seven, seven-fifteen. Tomorrow I will be awake, I will be fresh, I can study well. What is the problem? And he says, rabbi, go study. If I lose my children, they will not see me go out to study. Then I am not giving the example. They are still asleep. Then the rabbi thought, he said, you are right. But you have to study. Go to the morning course to study and go to the night course to sleep. But you have to give the example. Our children imitate us. The Germans, the way of walking. Sometimes I see a little one walking and I say, this is the child of so-and-so. Look how he walks. One already realizes whose child it is. They imitate us in everything. They will also imitate us in everything else. What is the problem? When will we need psychologists? When will we need educational counselors, rabbis, etc.? When the boy does not know what to imitate. Why? Because he sees contradictions in the parents. The parents tell him something and do another thing. For example, you have to study, you have to study, but the father does not go to study. This is very important, very important, but suddenly it is not important. The teacher is very important, the rabbi is very important, you have to listen to him. But when he calls on the phone, he says he is not here now, that he cannot talk, etc. But the merchant called or the one who sells something, but he does not attend to him. So, wait a minute. What are the important values here? Commerce, study... When there are contradictions, a problematic home. It is easier to educate a child who has not learned anything from his home and who has not seen anything of religion and Judaism, who has not seen either side, then he is thought of from scratch. But wait a minute. This contradictory structure, the boy does not know what to stick with. If with the word or with the deed. To one side or the other. So we have to be very careful with our way of being, how we act in our homes. We have to make a list of our scale of values. Let’s see, for us, what is important? There is a point that I want to tell you that may be the most important point. Thus writes Shalaka II. It is called truth. Sincerity. We have been taught in today’s society to lie. With a lot of justifications. To lie piously and to lie to avoid embarrassment and to lie to fix things. We are going to lie. The newspapers lie, people lie, in commerce, they lie, they deceive. One lives a life of deception and lies. It is the worst that can happen to a person. A child who sees that there is no truth in his home, he will be a child who will think that everything that is being done is all a farce. So, in any case, he will choose what suits him best and not what he was told. The true attitude in the parents is true. And if a father is true and sees that his son begins to say one thing or another that are not true, he must take quick action. The Shalá brings from a family in Ushalá that their children turned out so well, so well, that he went to inquire why. Then dad told him, look, I forgive anything. He broke it, he got dirty, he behaved badly, he brought a bad grade. I do not forgive him. But my children know that there is one thing that I do not forgive, which is lying. So, what happened? The boy knew that with the truth he would win. So, being true, this teaching, the truth, then also filled him to act well. Because once he got used to telling the truth, he will not behave badly, then I will behave well. Then I will tell him. So, do you understand? We live in a false world. People act. They want to show something that is not. They say the words, they are talking, one lies, the other lies, and they understand each other with lies. This one knows and the other is lying. Yes, how much are you going to pay me? I will pay you in six months. I already know that it is not six months, it is six years. The other says, and you what... This is how things go. Both are lying. No. The seal of Boreolam is truth. We need to be true. Most of our Torah, of our mitzvot, are Torah and mitzvot that one fulfills with Boreolam. Where one has to be sincere with him, with no one else. Our intention in the tefilah, our tefilot, our requests, our way of being, all is with Akadosh Baruch Hu. We have to present stories before the one who it is impossible to lie to. So let’s really teach our children the example of truth. It is very difficult to be true. I had a very interesting situation with a person that I always wondered about. A person who approached the Torah very late. He spent many years until he approached the Torah. But he approached with impressive eagerness. And I knowing a little about his whole background, where did this come from? This Shabbat the situation became clear to me. He told me a very special situation that happened to him. That someone asked him something, a detail. That if he told the truth, he would be harmed. And if he lied, he would somehow free himself from this situation. If he told the truth, the truth would compromise him. And if he lied, he would be free. The truth. I asked him what the truth was. Can I lie? Can a rabbi lie? No, nothing religious. Material issues. When he told me this Shabbat what had happened during the week, an economic issue. They asked him an economic detail that if he said it would compromise him. And if he lied, he would get away with it. Then he says, I told him, but you cannot lie. And I told him, yes, surely, you cannot lie. Then I discovered why he did Teshuvah. Now I understand why this person approached the Torah so easily. The Torah is perfect for those who are good, who are sincere, who are correct. There they find themselves like a fish in water. They feel very good and very comfortable. So, we have to fight to teach. We have to get used to telling the truth. It is a good system. At home, we forgive everything, except lying. If we manage it this way, maybe we will have to endure some little things, but in the future, the benefit will be greater. Another example that is very, very important that we must instill at this age, which is the age when kids discover the world, see everything, learn everything, give their eyes and notice every situation and that stays engraved here is how to judge people. Our children are waiting for us to give them judgments. Did you see so-and-so? This one is worthless. It is this. He, the parents, the families, the grandparents, we have already given him a concept. So-and-so is worthless to the family, to the people. This one is stingy. The other is crazy. This one is crazy, he is crazy. The other is a liar. Who are we to judge people? There is only one who can judge people. The other day a group of seventh graders came, who were on vacation, then the teacher asked me to give a shiur. And it was just Perashat Ekev that talks about the reward in this world. That Hashem says, if you are going to fulfill my mitzvot, then I will give you the harvest and I will give tranquility and peace and wealth and all material reward. So, I explained to the kids that the reward for mitzvot is in this world and in the next world. And that this Hashem gives to incentivize people to do more mitzvot. Then a boy tells me, but we see many bad people, who do not do mitzvot and have all the material goods. If this is an incentive to do more mitzvot, why does Hashem give it to the bad who are not doing mitzvot? Then I answered him several answers, but I think the one that serves us is very important. How do you know he is bad? Maybe one day he saved a person and you do not know. Maybe he helped a poor person and you do not know. Maybe he attended to a widow and you do not know. Maybe at some point he made a great tefilah and you do not know. You see the negative, but you do not know what is positive. There is a story of Yosef the Tzaddik, the story of a man that everyone said he was stingy, that he was stingy, and he was a tzadik that no one knew. How do you know? The rule is, we do not judge people. How do I teach my son then that this is good, that this is bad? We judge attitudes. Is this wrong? Is lying wrong? So-and-so lied? Is lying wrong? Is he a liar? I do not know, maybe the liar restores. I cannot already put the label of liar on him. Besides, maybe he did teshuvah. He repented of having lied and tomorrow he is no longer a liar because he changed. So, how can you put the label of liar on him? Not giving from here is wrong. Is so-and-so stingy? I do not know, maybe he gives in secret. And so on, we judge attitudes and actions and not people. Our home becomes a home where everyone is good or can be good or I do not know about them, but in truth, it is another world. If you are not separating this from here, this from there, this from here, we cannot do this. It is the age to teach respect for others. You went down to greet the manager. Say good morning. You entered the house. Say hello, how are you? You are with someone, greet them, give the place, give the seat to an older person. It is the age to teach them these things that will stay with them forever. And finally, it is an age to teach responsibility. How is responsibility taught? A lot of unexpected guests came. There everyone helped. They brought the glasses, they brought the plates. Mom does not feel well. The kids, please, help. Do not use too much, clean, clear the table, set the table. Responsibility. I am responsible. I am part of it. The one who is responsible in his house will be responsible in his school, in his community, will be responsible in the people of Israel. Why do we see people who suddenly disappear completely and do not care about the community and do not care about others? Because they were never taught from a young age to be responsible for their environment. Where I am, if Hashem inserted me here, I have to be responsible too. I am part of this. Not only receive, receive, receive. I also have to give. And this is educated with small things. How nice that once I went to a house. Shabbat is not easy to do, I recognize. And the parents are sitting. The kids set the table. They serve, clear, set. The Sephardic mom does not have patience for this. They will not endure because they already cleared and set quickly while the kid went to the kitchen. Once I went to a house. A man who educated his nine children but in an impressive way. One better than the other. And he arrived, took off his hat, a kid took it, took off his coat, another took it, he sat down. One brought him something to drink. Dad, are you okay? Do you want something? A very rich man. He had many people helping in the house. It was impressive how he educated his children to be responsible, to attend to the father, to be responsible, to be a participant. I realized that he did not do it because he needed his children to do it for him. He did it to teach them. And how well he taught them. So, these are all the teachings that we need to impart to our children until Bar Mitzvah. After Bar Mitzvah, that’s it. We retire. After Bar Mitzvah, the story changes. After Bar Mitzvah, you are no longer a father or mother. If you were a father, now you have to be a friend. Things now have to go well. You have to be a friend. If you were a mother, you have to be the confidant, the buddy of your daughter. The system has changed. Now they are adults according to the Torah. They already have everything developed. Another system. Until now we educated them in one system. Now we have to ask them things politely. So, Bar Mitzvah is a radical change. Bar Mitzvah is not a date on the calendar. Bar Mitzvah depends on development. When he develops, it is the beginning of adolescence. When adolescence begins, the system changes. Now we are friends, we are buddies, we are companions. This is the way we will work to guide ourselves. Very well, we stop here.