Welcome to the Daily Chizuk. Somebody asked me a question the other day. She said, “I've been listening to all your Emunah (faith) classes, and I know Hashem can help me, and I know that He's listening to me when I pray. But I've been praying for a long time, and Hashem hasn't helped me yet. To me, it seems that Hashem knows how badly I want this, and He still chooses not to give it to me. This bothers me very much, because if Hashem is so kind and He knows the pain I'm in, why doesn't He help me?”
I told her, “It's precisely because Hashem is so loving and kind that He hasn't given you what you wanted yet. For reasons that we don't understand right now, Hashem decided it would be the very best thing for you not to have this. One day we will understand, and when we find out the reason, we will say, ‘Hashem, I can't believe I doubted You. You truly were looking out for my best interests.’”
It's like a child who sees his father carrying a bag of lollipops and begs his father, “Please, Dad, give me one. Just give me one.” The father says, “I'm sorry, I can't give you any.” The child thinks to himself, “What a mean father I have. He has so many lollipops, and he can't even give me one.” But the child doesn't understand that the dentist said, “If he eats any more candy, he's going to have major problems with his teeth.”
So people ask, “Why can't Hashem just tell us the reason why He's not giving us what we want?” The answer is that the benefit we will receive from trusting Hashem is infinitely greater than the instant gratification of knowing why this is happening to you. David HaMelech compared his relationship with Hashem to a baby nursing from its mother. David HaMelech knows that Hashem looks out for him and cares for him like a mother cares for her infant. And the Gemara in Pesachim tells us, which means the cow wants to nurse her baby calf even more than the calf wants to be nursed. Similarly, a mother wants to nurse her baby even more than the baby wants to be nursed. Rabbi Falk explained that, simply, this means that the pain the mother suffers from being engorged is greater than the pain of the baby calf being hungry. When the baby doesn't drink, the mother is in pain.
Hashem is the Tov U'Metiv (the good and beneficent), and all Hashem desires is to give us Chesed (kindness). It's painful to Him when He can't give us as much as He wants to. Hashem has so much Tovah; He is overflowing with bounty. But if, for whatever reason, it won't be good for you to have what you want right now, Hashem is in more pain than the person, Kavayachol (as it were). The Pasuk (verse) says that Hashem loves us so much that He's willing to cause Himself pain and not give it to us, just because He knows it's for our best. But Hashem wants us to continue asking, because even though it might not be good for you to get what you want today, it might be very good tomorrow. And through Tefillah (prayer), a person can change themselves.
Never feel that Hashem is just choosing not to help. Hashem is always helping. When He gives, He is helping. And when He doesn't give, He is helping. Our job is to have this Emunah and stay strong. And with Hashem's help, we will all be zocheh (be privileged) to see how good Hashem really is. Have a great day.