Welcome to the daily chizuk (encouragement). Sometimes a person might feel, “I’ve been praying and praying, and Hashem is not answering me.” Doesn’t it say, Karov Hashem lechol kore'av (Hashem is near to all who call Him), v'sha'arei dim'a lo nin'alu, that the gates of tears are never locked? Why aren’t I being answered? It could be that you are being answered. It’s just taking time for everything to fall into place. If a person is praying for a job, maybe a lot of things have to happen for you to get that job, and your tefillot (prayers) keep getting you closer. A person could be praying for a shiduch (marriage match), but the shiduch is not ready. Maybe they’re not on your level, and your prayers are getting the ball rolling.
Someone once told me he had been looking for years to get married, but just couldn’t find anyone. One day, he decided to go to Israel and pray by the Kotel. He got married about a year later. It turned out his wife-to-be wasn’t so religious, and when he was praying at the Kotel, she decided out of the blue that she wanted to go to Israel to study for a year. His tefillot worked immediately. He just didn’t see the results until much later.
Rabbi Falk told the story of a girl in Israel who graduated high school and was ready to go to seminary to further her Jewish education. The principal of the seminary that all her friends were going to wouldn’t allow her in. There was some friction between him and her father, and he told her to go somewhere else. All the other seminaries around said, “If your local seminary is not accepting you, then we’re not so sure we want you either.” The girl was devastated. She was a wonderful girl with good middot (character traits), but she couldn’t get into any seminaries. She would cry all the time and just mope around the house. Her father tried all that he could, but nothing was working. He brought her to a great rabbi for some advice. The rabbi said, “Forget about the seminary; it’s not working out.” Rather, he told her, “You should choose—maybe take some classes, or learn to become a teacher, and further your education.” He said, “Hashem obviously wants your tefillot. You have to pray very hard.” He told her to pray for her future husband. She wanted to marry someone who was going to be a rabbi. He said, “Pray that your future husband should be successful in his learning and enjoy it.” She took the advice, excelled in her studies, and prayed very hard. She graduated three years later and was ready to start dating.
Not a single suggestion came to her parents. Who wants a girl who couldn’t get into a seminary? The father decided he had to try himself. He went to a yeshiva that he liked. He wanted to observe the boys and try to find the shiduch himself. He went to pray by a certain yeshiva for a few days. He prayed, and he noticed one boy stood out. He was always there, learning intensely. He was respected by his peers. That was the boy he wanted. The father approached the Rosh Yeshiva and asked about the boy. The rabbi said, “You hit the jackpot. This is the best boy in the yeshiva. He’s very special.” The rabbi had the highest praise for him. The father asked, “Do you think you’d be able to go out with my daughter?” The Rosh Yeshiva said, “He has a line of people waiting, but you could try. Go talk to his father.” The girl’s father went to talk to the boy’s father. He explained who his daughter was, that she had tests in life but had passed, and that she was a great girl. The boy’s father said, “Okay, we have a lot of options, and my son has to be the one to choose. If you want, you could go talk to him.”
One night after Arvit (evening prayer), the girl’s father approached the boy in yeshiva. He made conversation with him and eventually brought up his daughter as a prospective shiduch. But the second he mentioned that she didn’t go to seminary, the boy started trying to wiggle out of the conversation. The father said, “Just give me a few minutes, please. Let me explain.” He said, “My daughter has such good middot,” and the rabbi told him that she wasn’t getting into seminary because of me, so she should go do something else. The rabbi told her to pray for her future husband to get good chavrutot (study partners) and enjoy his learning. When the boy heard that, his ears perked up. He said, “How long ago was that?” The father said, “About four years.” The boy said, “I don’t believe it. When I first came to this yeshiva, I was doing very poorly. I was totally falling out. I was considering leaving. But I remember distinctly, four years ago, all of a sudden, I felt a desire to get better. And I asked for a new study partner. From that day onward, it’s been up and up. I never understood what it was. And now I know.” The shiduch was made, and they got married. Although it appeared that this girl’s tefillot were going unanswered, actually, they were answered immediately. We must always continue to have faith in our tefillot. Hashem is always listening. May Hashem answer all of us, all of our tefillot. B'karov (soon). Amen (so be it). Have a great day.