Welcome to the Daily Chizuk. At the end of this week’s parasha, Yaakov was instructed to go to the house of Lavan to find a wife. And Chazal (the Sages) tell us that on the way, Eliphaz robbed him of everything. Yaakov had jewelry, diamonds, and camels, and he was left with the shirt on his back and his stick. As the pasuk (verse) says, “Now Yaakov knew he was going to the house of a man who only cared about money.” Money was the only thing that spoke to him. He didn’t care about having a good son-in-law with good character. It was money, money, money. And Yaakov was now coming to ask him for one of his daughters with nothing. He had no engagement ring and no way to support her.
So the Midrash (rabbinic teaching) tells us that Yaakov, recognizing the gravity of the situation, looked up and said, “How am I going to get my Ezer? How am I going to get my helpmate? I don’t see any way possible for this to work now.” Then Yaakov said, “My help will come from Hashem, who made the heavens and the earth.” In spite of the impossible, Hashem could still help me. He is mezaveg zivugim. Matches are made in heaven. And we know he didn’t only get one wife; he got two. But it sounds like, from the way Chazal presented it, Yaakov was on the verge of desperation, and then he pulled himself together. How do we understand this? Yaakov was the biggest boteach baHashem (one who trusts in Hashem).
The Shem Mishmuel explains that Yaakov never despaired. He says there are two ways to cope with a very difficult situation, Rachmana litzlan (May the Merciful One save us). Number one, a person could turn off his brain and put it out of his mind. He can’t cope with the worry, so he just blocks it out and hides under the guise of Emunah (faith). He says, “It’s going to be okay. Hashem is helping. Let’s not think about it.” Sounds like very pious words. But he is really insistent. The second way is for the person to be fully aware of the situation, analyze it very carefully, and realize that there is no way out of this. But he knows that there is a source. Hashem could do anything. Hashem could save me from this too. This is the proper response of the boteach baHashem. And that is what Yaakov was doing. First, he became fully aware of how serious the situation was. There was no way b'derech hateva (through natural means) would give him a wife. But then he said, “Luckily, I have Hashem, who is Oseh Shamayim Va'aretz (who made the heavens and the earth).” Hashem created something from nothing, and He could also give me something from nothing. The word Me'ayin also means from nothing. Me'ayin Yavo Ezri. My help could come from nothing. Hashem could just put it in Lavan’s mind to like me.
This is a lesson for life. There are times when people are in situations that look absolutely impossible to get out of. It could be financial, medical, or any area. But it seems to be hopeless. A person could either go into denial and make believe they have Emunah, but deep down they have already despaired. Or they can say, “I have Hashem. Nothing is too hard for Him. I’m not going to give up. I’m going to continue to pray. I’m going to be positive. And I’m going to rely on Hashem for salvation.”
Someone told me the other day that they have a family member who made a decision to do something that was going to cause major Shalom Bayit (peace in the home) problems. It was going to affect the whole family, something that he might have regretted for the rest of his life. And no one could convince him out of it. And then the person said that she never gave up hope. She knew Hashem could turn it around in a second. And all of a sudden, the man just changed his mind, and everything went back to normal. And everyone was saying the whole time, “The situation is impossible. It’s impossible. What are we going to do?” But she said she knew that when it comes to Hashem, nothing is impossible. We could always be helped. Shabbat Shalom.