The Baal Bitachon (person of trust) never has regrets. He never dwells on the past: “I should have done it like this. I should have done it like that.” You did your hishtadlut. You tried. It didn’t turn out the way you wanted because that was the best outcome for you. And even if there was a better hishtadlut that could have been done and you didn’t do it, that was also min ha-shamayim (from Heaven).
There’s a pasuk (verse) in Kohelet. It says, et la-ledet ve’et la-mut. There’s a time for birth. There’s a time for death. There’s a time to plant. A time to uproot. What is the great chokhmah (wisdom) of this statement of Shlomo HaMelech? There’s a time to give birth. We see that when the child is born, you look at the clock. Whatever time it is, that was the time of birth. What’s the chokhmah of the statement?
I heard a beautiful explanation from Rabbi Falk, and he explained it with a story. He said there was a couple who had been married for a few years without children. They went to doctors and tried this and tried that, and nothing was working. A few more years passed. It was already seven or eight years, and they became depressed, sad, and upset. They were trying to pray, but nothing was working.
Finally, ten years after they married, one of the great tzaddikim (righteous people) of the generation, who was known for his koach (power) of beracha (blessing), happened to be traveling through their country and stayed for a couple of days right in their town. So the wife tells her husband, “Look, the tzaddik is practically on our doorstep. Go get a beracha.”
The husband went to the tzaddik, and the tzaddik said, “Next year, you will be blessed.” One year later, they were happy parents. The beracha was mekuyam (fulfilled).
The woman tells her husband, “What were we thinking? We knew about the tzaddik before we even got married. Why didn’t we go to him ten years ago? Our whole life could have been different. We could have had a nine-year-old son by now. We could have had a lot of other children. Our life could have been so much happier.”
The husband tells her, “You are very mistaken. You think that we were just helped because the tzaddik came to the town? You got the story the wrong way around. Min ha-shamayim, now was the time we were to be helped. The situation wasn’t easy. We needed a beracha from a tzaddik to help us. But min ha-shamayim, now was the et la-ledet. The time of birth had arrived. So Hashem sent a tzaddik right to our doorstep in order to help us. It didn’t happen before. We didn’t think of this before because before wasn’t the time to give birth. Hashem didn’t let us think of it because it wasn’t good before. But now that the time has come, Hashem sent a tzaddik right to us.”
And this is the way it works in all areas of life. The result had to happen. How it’s going to happen, Hashem has many ways. But never look back and say, “I should have, I should have.” We have to trust that Hashem knows, and we just put our effort in and the rest is up to Hashem. Have a great day.