Welcome to the Daily Chizuk. The Pasuk (verse) in Kohelet says, “If someone does a mitzvah (good deed), no harm could ever come of it.” The Gemara in Masechet Shabbat says about this Pasuk that the mitzvah is actually a shield that nullifies decrees. Even if it appears that you lost because of the mitzvah, it is not so. You have to wait and see that you only gained.
We know that Rachel Imeinu gave over the simanim (signs) to Leah. In her mind, she was giving up her husband, and now perhaps she would be stuck with Esav. But she said, “I can’t worry about myself. I have to save my sister from embarrassment.” What ended up happening? We know she also married Yaakov, but she was barren. And the Pasuk says that after many years, “Vayizkor Elohim et Rachel”—Hashem remembered Rachel, and He blessed her with a child. What did He remember? Rashi says He remembered the simanim she gave over to Leah. He remembered how compassionate she was and that she wanted to save her sister from embarrassment. The good deed, which appeared to be costing Rachel everything, turned out to be the reason she merited to be one of our Imahot (matriarchs). You will never lose from doing the right thing. Hashem is always watching and is sure to repay you.
Someone recently told me that her husband accepted an offer from a Shadchan (matchmaker) for their daughter and scheduled a date. He didn’t realize that his daughter was adamant about not marrying someone with the same name as him, and she didn’t want to go. He told his daughter, “I understand, but it’s not right. We already told them yes. They’re going to feel very bad. The boy will feel bad. We can’t cancel. Please go on the date so we don’t hurt their feelings.” She agreed. She didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. She did the mitzvah of Kibbud Av Va’em (honoring one’s father and mother), and she was ready to go out with him.
The same day, the family got a phone call from a different Shadchan. The Shadchan said, “We have the perfect guy for your daughter. He’s exactly what you’re looking for. Should I set it up?” It was a great opportunity for them, so they said, “Okay, but we’ll have to schedule the date for later on in the week.” The girl went out with the first guy just to be nice. The family of the second guy saw her on the date. They couldn’t believe it. They told the Shadchan, “Forget it. How could she go out with someone else when she agreed to go out with our son?” But the Shadchan said, “No, she was just being nice. You have to understand.” They wouldn’t hear of it. They canceled the date. They broke the promise. They broke the Shidduch (match). The girl was devastated. “Could it be that because I was being nice and not hurting someone’s feelings, I’m going to lose out now on a good Shidduch?” Her parents told her, “Hashem saw what you did, and you will only gain. Don’t worry.”
The girl went out with many more boys, but nothing clicked. Months later, they got a call from the Shadchan. The Shadchan said, “There’s an unbelievable boy who just decided he’s ready to date, and there are people waiting for him. I gave him a long list of girls, and he told me, ‘Please give me someone who’s compassionate.’ I immediately thought of your daughter. I told him the entire story, how she went out with someone just so she doesn’t hurt their feelings.” The boy was so impressed. He said, “That’s the girl I want to go out with,” and the rest is history. They recently got married, and they couldn’t be happier.
The act that seemed to lose her Shidduch was the act that ultimately got her Shidduch. You can never lose by doing a good deed. And although it might appear that way initially, Hashem guarantees us that it is not so, and you will only gain.