If someone asks us for our time when we're already busy, or asks us to do something that requires a lot of effort, our first reaction might be, why should I give up my time now? I have so many things to do. The same is true when it comes to giving in. Sometimes we know we're right, and giving in will cost us something, so our yetzer hara tells us not to. However, when we act for the sake of Hashem, we never lose. Whether we see it or not, when we do for others or give in to others, we are always the ones who gain.
A man who we'll call Yehudah asked his chavruta if he had built his sukkah yet. His chavruta said he hadn't. His children were too young to help him, and he couldn't do it by himself. Yehudah saw how much he needed someone, so he said, "Don't worry. I can come help you today bein hasedarim at 2:45." His chavruta was so grateful. He needed the help so badly that he canceled an appointment he had that afternoon so he could be home when Yehudah came.
After morning seder, shortly before he was supposed to go to his chavruta, Yehudah came home looking for something to eat. He found a piece of frozen chocolate cake in the freezer and tried to take a bite. The cake was so frozen that instead of taking a bite out of it, he broke his front tooth. Besides the pain, he couldn't go around looking like that. He needed a dentist immediately.
He called his regular dental clinic, but they told him the next available appointment wasn't for another month. He told them he couldn't wait. The secretary then said, "Actually, if you come now, we have an opening. Someone just canceled." He rushed over, and the dentist was able to temporarily fix his tooth. Later, when he finally came to his chavruta's house to help him build the sukkah, he told him what had happened. His chavruta looked at Yehudah and said, "Do you know who canceled that appointment? I did. I canceled it so I could be here when you came to help me build my sukkah."
Amazing! Yehudah thought he was giving up his time to help somebody else, but in reality, Hashem was using the very act of chesed that he was going to do to provide the help that he himself was going to need.
Another man in Bnei Brak had been building his sukkah for years in the same spot between his building and the next building. One year, after he and his sons finished all their work, a neighbor from the next building came over very upset, claiming the sukkah was on their property. The man knew he had every right to be there, and the matter was brought to a Rabbi.
After hearing both sides, the Rabbi spoke to him privately and said, "I know that you're right, but you see who you're dealing with. It will be much more to your benefit just to give in. I guarantee you, no one ever lost out from giving in."
This was going to be very difficult. He had already built his entire sukkah. Now he would have to take the whole thing apart, carry everything to the other side of the building and start all over again. But he said, "Okay, I'm going to be mevater. I'll do it to avoid machloket, and I'll do it with joy."
So he and his sons took apart the sukkah and rebuilt it in a different location. It took a lot of time and effort, but after he finished, he was so happy to have the zechut to avoid machloket. It was the perfect preparation to fulfill the mitzvah of sitting in Hashem's sukkah, which is called a Sukkah of Shalom.
On the third day of Chol HaMoed, a sewage pipe unexpectedly burst in the building next door. Everything landed directly on the spot where his original sukkah had been standing. The sukkah that was now there became unusable for the rest of the holiday. Meanwhile, his family continued enjoying their beautiful sukkah on the other side of the building.
Here again, what looked like something he was giving up turned out to be the very thing that benefited him. We don't always get to see the ending so clearly. Many times we give up our time for somebody else and never see what we gained. We give in for the sake of shalom and never see what Hashem saved us from. But these stories remind us that there's no such thing as losing when we do what Hashem wants.
When the yetzer hara tells us, why should I give up my time? Why should I make the effort? Why should I give in when I'm right? We have to remember that we're doing it for the sake of Hashem, and when we act for the sake of Hashem, we always gain. Sometimes we get to see it immediately, and sometimes we don't get to see it at all. But the reality is always the same. Every chesed, every sacrifice we make, and every time we give in for the sake of shalom is something that Hashem treasures. And the more effort it takes, and the harder it is, the greater the zechut.