I would like to share a beautiful lesson in Emunah and Bitachon which
comes from Mishleh, as explained by Rav Yerucham Levovitz in his
sefer Daat Torah (on Parashat Shemini).
Mishleh (in perek ט) tells us a mashal by Shlomo HaMelech:
Someone built a house with wisdom,slaughtered meat, poured wine, set
the table, and sent out invitations to the guests. The guests that came
to the party were fools with a lack of understanding.
The Midrash explains that this is referring to Creation. Hashem created
the world. It’s a beautiful party-house. He invited his guests, Adam and
Chava. But the guests were foolish. Their mistake was that they didn’t
realize that G-d was the host and not them. This is the test of life. We are
in this beautiful world, but we are not the hosts. We are the guests.
It is a beautiful party, but our job at this party is to make the Baal
Simcha/ the Host happy. The Host threw a beautiful party, and He wants
us to be happy- but it’s not just about us being happy, we have to make
Him happy.
Rav Yerucham uses this mashal to explain the concept that sometimes in
life, there are challenges. How can we continue to serve G-d when
things don’t go the way we want; When there are challenges?
Aharon HaKohen had great challenges on Opening day of the Mishkan.
Tragedy struck with his two children, Nadav and Avihu. So how did he
continue?
Rav Yerucham says that the answer comes from the following attitude:
כשאין אני כי אם אורח
“I am only a guest
ואין לי פה כלום
I don’t have anything here
“Therefore, I have no demands. Because I realize that the party is not
about me. The purpose of the party is G-d. Therefore, I have to put
everything aside for His simcha.”
I have a personal mashal to explain this:
Many years ago I was asked to officiate at a fancy wedding in
Manhattan. I was supposed to be there early for the ketubah ceremony,
so a car came to pick me up. Everything was wonderful, but I was a
little hungry. It was 4:30 in the afternoon and the wedding wouldn’t start
until much later. I was leaving right after the chuppah and since I
wouldn’t be there for the dinner, I started looking around for
something to eat. I saw a big sushi bar set up, and was about to take
something, but a waitress stopped me. She said the sushi station was
closed, that I couldn’t take any yet. They didn’t want to mar the set up.
Then I went towards the desserts, and it was the same story.
But I couldn’t complain, because it was not my party! If I was the
chatan/ groom, it would be a different story. But I wasn’t the chatan.
So too, this world is a beautiful party. Our job is to be good guests.
The Gemarah tells us that there are two kinds of guests - good and bad.
The good guest says, “Look at all the beautiful meat and wine and all of
the desserts everything that the host has done was done for me!”
A bad guest says, “What did the host do anyway? He had to eat, and his
wife had to eat. So what did I do? I just took a slice of meat. I drink a
little bit of wine. I ate a little bit of cake from the desert. He was doing
it anyway, for his family.”
This is true, about guests, of course. But the commentaries say that this
also refers to our world.
A person can walk outside on a beautiful Shabbat day, with beautiful
cherry blossom tress blooming all and around and say, “Wow! Look
what Hashem did for me. Look at this wonderful weather.” And if it’s
raining outside, “The rain is wonderful! The plants will grow for me.
Thank you Hashem.”
That is a good guest.
A bad guest says, “What do you mean -there are billions of people in the
world! This has nothing to do with me! The world has to run anyway.
The sun has to come up anyway..”
These are two guests. But
according to the commentary on this Mishleh, there is a third guest too.
He’s not good and he’s not bad.
He doesn’t even realize he is a guest. He thinks he is the host! Or, he
doesn’t know who the host is. He thinks this is just a free party, with no
host.
Here’s another personal mashal:
Many years ago, when I was living in Deal, there was a great blizzard. A
woman made a Sheva Berachot for a chatan and kallah whose wedding
had been snowed out due to the weather. She invited people who didn’t
know the couple, to come as a chessed, and I was one such guest. I had
no idea who the chatan even was. I sat down to eat (I was getting a free
lunch), and started talking to the guy sitting next to me, someone whom
I had never met before. I asked him, “By the way, do you know who the
chatan is?”
He told me he was the chatan!
So you can be sitting next to someone, and you have no idea that he’s
the chatan!
Well, Hashem is the Chatan.
The Gemarah says that this world is like a wedding.
There is an interesting law about weddings. It says that you are not
allowed to benefit from a wedding until you make the host (chatan or
kallah) happy. You can’t just go to a wedding, leave your car by the
pump, make a beeline for the father of the kallah (or chatan), say mazel
tov and then head out, grabbing a cookie on the way.
You can’t do that.
Of course, if you gave a check to the father, then you’ve made them
happy. But if you just come in, say hello and leave, then you can’t eat.
You cannot enjoy the wedding if you don’t make the Baal simchah
happy.
In this world, the Baal Simcha is G-d.
We are guests. Guests have no demands. Guests can ask the host for
something. Our Host is a very special Host. Rav Yerucham says that
people make a mistake. Our host is so special and so personalized for
us, and does everything for us, to the point that we can even say,
“בשבילי נברא העולם
the world was created for me,”
Nonetheless, that doesn’t make us into the host. We are still just guests.
I once went to a Sheva Berachot, where the hostess had each guest’s
name engraved onto a stone for them. I thought, “Wow! This is really
special!”
But that still didn’t make me into the host. I was still just a guest. No
matter how personalized the world is, we are still just guests here.
I once heard about a destination wedding on a far away island, where
the host made suits for every guest! In each person’s closet, there was a
suit and a pair of shoes in his size!
This morning as I was saying Birchot Hashachar, I was thinking about
this class, and something hit me. I realized that the Birchot HaShachar
is a wonderful list of all the great things the Host did at the party!
Pokeach Ivrim- He gave me eyes to see with. Imagine a wedding where
they gave glasses to all the people that weren’t able to see all of the
beautiful things at the wedding.
Matir Assurim , Zokef Kefufim -There is a spa at the wedding, with a
personal trainer.
Malbish Arumim- Wow! I put my clothes on! Thank you! I am a guest
at a party and they have clothes for the guests!
Noten Layaef Koach- There are great beds at this party, so you are well
rested.
Roka HaAretz al ha Mayim- They built platforms over the water (as I
have seen at some weddings, where they build platforms over the pools)
Look what this host thought of! He made a platform on top of the water.
She’Asah Li Kol Sorki You took care of everything I need! My belt, my
hat...
Every day I get up in the morning and I say, “Wow! I got invited to this
exclusive wedding. Not everybody is here. I am here at the wedding! I
am glad, and proud to be a part of us procession.”
But we can’t forget that the job is to make the host happy. It is not about
you- you are not the chatan.
If things are not going the way that you want, it’s OK. The world was
not created with you as the host.
But, you were invited, so say thank you for that.
Have a wonderful day.