Welcome to Emotional Wellness Daily, a project of SIMHA the Sephardic Initiative for Mental Health Awareness.
As we’ve been talking about self-worth, I'd like to share a beautiful story and message from Shemuel ב Perek ו. Had this week not been Parashat HaChodesh, this would have been the Haftara, so it's something of a timely topic.
The Aron Hakodesh/ Holy Ark was being returned to its place after having been in captivity for a while. They had tried to bring it back once and didn't work, but now it was finally going back to its proper spot, and David Hamelech was dancing with all his strength in front of Hashem, wearing a simple cloak, with nothing very majestic or royal about him. As the Aron got closer to the city, Michal bat Shaul, Shaul’s daughter and David's wife looked out the window with a negative glance, and saw David Hamelech dancing.
וַתִּבֶז לוֹ בְּלִבָּהּ /In her heart she looked down at him, thinking, ‘What are you doing dancing like this publicly. It’s not respectful for a king.’ David got back to his house where Michal was waiting to give him a piece of her mind. She said, in a sarcastic tone, “What a glorious day where the King of Israel has revealed himself לְעֵינֵי אַמְהוֹת עֲבָדָיו כְּהִגָּלוֹת נִגְלוֹת אַחַד הָרֵקִים: /to the eyes of the maid servants of your servants, like one of the empty ones reveals himself.
She was calling Jewish women the maid servants of your servants (the men were his servants so their wives were the maid servants of his servants). Bad enough to reveal yourself to your servants, but the maid servants of your servants? They’re the lowest ones in the totem pole!
David Hamelech answered, “Your father's dynasty stopped, and mine continued, so obviously my approach to humble, less typical approach to religion seems to be working better than your royal approach. וּנְקַלֹּתִי עוֹד מִזֹּאת
And I would do even more (I would stand on my head), We're dancing in front of God.
Ramban cites this for general happiness in Mitzvot, dancing on Simchat Torah or for a chatan or kallah or whatever it may be.
It's not the place for my own glory. It's not about me. I'm dancing in front of God. And then he says a line I’d like to stress: וְעִם הָאֲמָהוֹת אֲשֶׁר אָמַרְתְּ עִמָּם אִכָּבֵדָה: Concerning those Amahot/ maid servants, With them, I should be honored!
The Midrash Raba Bamidbar 4,20 explains, “Those are Jewish girls you're talking about. Those Jewish girls that you made fun of, calling them Amahot/ maid servants, they are Imahot/They're mothers! They have the highest standing. They have the greatest title. A Jewish mother.
Yes, a Jewish mother, even with no makeup on, without a crown, without any niceties or fanciness. Just a Jewish mother putting her kids to sleep, giving them baths and cleaning for Pesach. That's the highest standard! They're servants of Hashem. These are not maid servants, these are mothers!
לוואי יהא לי חלק עמהם לע"ל הה"ד (שם) ועם האמהות אשר אמרת לואי עמם אכבדה:/I hope I have a portion with them in the world to come!
David Hamelech is hoping to be put in that special, elite group, of Jewish mothers! Unbelievable.
This is the self-worth that every Jewish mother should have, or every Jewish person for that matter. But we're talking about Jewish mother. Yes, that Jewish mother. We're getting ready for Passover, cleaning hard and there might be some self pity, and feeling bad for yourself- Why don't I have a housekeeper helping me? Did I become a housekeeper?
No! That's the greatest honor. You are raising a Jewish household. You are preparing a Jewish home for Pesach. You are involved in the greatest of work and the greatest of activities.
That's a powerful reframe on self-worth. Appreciate what you're doing, appreciate the value of what you're doing, and realize that you are truly great for what you're involved in-the simple day-to-day activities of a Jewish mother, making supper, preparing lunchboxes, or whatever it may be, these are all involvements in greatness.
That's a reframe in self-worth based on this beautiful story in the Midrash.
Have a wonderful day.