Welcome to Emotional Wellness Daily. We're in the month of Elul now, so I'd like to share a thought that I just heard from the recordings of Rabbi Ades, a Gadol. Without going through psychological training, based on the Torah, he has the understanding that we need. He was talking about the importance of not living life in a routine, habitual manner, where everything's on automatic pilot, where we just get into a rote type of rut, where we just continue on our same old track without really thinking about what we're doing.
He uses the example of a mitasek, which is a concept in Halacha. There are two types of lack of involvement. One is called a Shogeg, and example of which is a man who gets up on a Shabbat morning, and, thinking it's Sunday, goes to his backyard and pulls a flower out of the ground.
He knew exactly what he was doing when pulling the flower out, but he didn't know it was Shabbat. That's called a shogeg, and he has to bring a Korban Hatat/sin offering.
The other type is a man has a vase, which usually only holds flowers without water. One Sunday, lo and behold, his child decided to do an experiment and filled the vase with dirt and put flowers in. The flowers took root, and now the man removed the flowers from the pot on Shabbat- that is called a Mitasek.
He doesn't even know what he's doing. He thinks he's taking flowers out of an empty vase, but it really has dirt inside. When he does that, there is no sin offering, because he wasn't even involved in what he was doing, he was just on an automatic pilot.
Rabbi Ades says the same is true in life. We might just be an automatic pilot. He gave the example of saying Havdalah. One way is, on Saturday night, I go get the candle, get the matches, get the wine, get the Besamim and make Havdalah for whoever is listening.
Okay, I just did it. Finished.
And if you realize there's no win, you have to go look for a bottle of wine. You open up a new bottle. It's not Mevushal so you realize you have to do something with it all week. It’s a hassle. Then you realize the matches aren’t there, and you get frustrated, and who knows what. That's one approach.
The other approach is, “I'm now about to make Havdalah. I am infusing holiness into the week.” Just like we say kiddush at the beginning of Shabbat, we say Havdalah at the end of Shabbat, “I'm involved in service of God.” It takes 30 seconds or less to think about that. Now, if you don't have your bottle of wine, you think, “I'm involved in a preparation for a mitzvah.
For every step, I'm getting a mitzvah . I'm getting the bottle of wine. Ooh, where are the matches?”
Suddenly there is meaning and purpose (one of my favorite psychological terms) to what you're doing. You're not just trying to check off the to-do list, do Havdalah, check it off and onto the next thing. Rather, you’re involved in what you're doing.
Mitasek is the equivalent of when you are talking to someone on the phone while answering an email. You're not there. You're not present. And when you're not present in what you do and you're just checking off lists, onto the next thing, you're never doing anything. Rabbi Ades said, that when you start off the month of Elul, the the first mindset change to have, that lifts everything up, is to be involved in what you're doing. Be present in what you're doing. Make it into an activity, not just rote and routine.
That is a tremendous uplift. Then you're not just always waiting to do the next thing without really doing anything. And it’s a great concept, in Avodat Hashem, which is everything.
So when you're talking to your wife or to your husband or to your children or your father, your mother, stop and think-
Are you there? Or is it something you have to check off the list to get to the next thing?
This is an important outlook on life, and in service of God.
So if you want to make a little change in your month, he said to work in Netilat Yadayim. Instead of just washing your hands automatically, stop and think,
“I'm now making myself holy before I eat…. I'm making myself holy before I pray.”
Just a little bit of thought infuses the act with meaning and purpose. When a person lives life with meaning and purpose, it's a whole different life.
It's a rich life. It's an exciting life. It's a life that doesn't get you stuck in a rut and routine. It's a life of happiness and fulfillment, and the whole difference is just adding a little bit of thought.
Have a wonderful day. Shabbat Shalom and a Hodesh Tov.