Welcome to Embrace Shabbat.
In last week’s parsha, Parshat Yitro, Rabbeinu Bachya teaches that it is incumbent upon a woman to daven for her children when she lights Shabbat candles. She should pray that Hashem grant her children the ability to learn and be lit up from Torah. Tefillah that is said alongside the performance of a mitzvah is especially powerful and likely to be answered. In the merit of lighting Shabbat candles, which provides physical ohr, her children should be בעלי תורה, lit up from the spiritual light bestowed upon a person from the Torah.
The Sefer Kav Yashar (Chapter 81) teaches: הַכֹּל תָּלוּי בָּאִשָּׁה, everything depends on the woman. A woman has the ability to guide her children and her family along the right path. As it says in Parshat Yitro, כֹּה תֹּאמַר לְבֵית יַעֲקֹב - אֵלּוּ הַנָּשִׁים- וְתַגֵּ֖יד לִבְנֵ֥י יִשְׂרָאֵֽל. Hashem told Moshe to speak with the women first because they are the ones that teach their children the proper ways to act and how to follow the Torah path (Midrash Rabbah on Shemot 28:2).
At age 13, his grandmother asked him if he would agree to make a Yissachar-Zevulun contract with her. She agreed to give him a monthly stipend to cover his expenses in exchange for a chelek in his learning. This went on for years. He finished Masechtot and Shas, and said that it was the chizzuk of his grandmother that got him through the grueling hours that he invested.
This grandmother was such a wise woman. She knew that this “contract” would show a chashivut for her grandson’s learning, which would give him the motivation to continue his hard work. Simultaneously, she even got a portion of the schar for his learning! It is incredible for a grandmother to have such intuition!
נשים במאי זכיין, by what merit do women merit a portion in Torah? Through bringing their children to learn Torah in shul and sending her husband to study in the Beis Medrash. נר מצוה ותורה אור, a mitzvah is the receptacle for the oil, but the Torah is the light itself. A woman receives a chelek in Torah learning from encouraging her children and her husband.
As we know, tefillah is the greatest hishtadlut of all. (Of course, a person cannot rely on miracles and must invest in basic hishtadlut, but tefillah is the main hishtadlut.) Therefore, the best time for a woman to pray her family is when she is lighting the Shabbat candles, because that is the נר מצוה ותורה אור, as the Gemara Shabbat (23b) teaches: one who becomes accustomed to lighting candles will be rewarded with children who are talmidei chachamim.
Have a wonderful day and a Shabbat Shalom.