Welcome to our class on humility. One aspect of humility is that when things don't go right, we see it as coming from Hashem, Who is in charge. We accept it with humility, without demands or complaints. We humbly accept the will of God.
There is a Mishna that says, A person has a responsibility to say a blessing on the evil, the same as he says a blessing on the good. The Gemara in Berachot 60B, comments on that and says, Does that mean you say the exact same blessing? That's not true. When something good happens, there's a blessing HaTov V'HaMetiv/God is good and bequeaths good and Has V'shalom when something bad happens, we say a blessing of Dayan HaEmet God is the true Judge. So it's not the same text. So how could you say that you have to make the blessing in the same way? The Gemara answers that it means you have to accept them the same way. Just like when something good happens you accept it with happiness without any complaints, so too, has v'shalom, you accept when something doesn't go right b'simcha. Does that mean that in your mind it's exactly the same? That you don't flinch when a bad thing happens because Hey, it's good? Well, obviously not because we make two different blessings.
There is a famous line in the Gemara in Pesachim 50A,
In the future. Hashem will be king on the land and on that day,
יהיה ה' אחד ושמו אחד/He will be one and His name will be One
The Gemara asks, Does that mean today His name is not One? To which the Gemara answers that this world is a little different than the next world. In this world we make two different blessings. On good things, we say HaTov VHaMetiv. On bad things, has v'shalom, we say, Dayan Emet. But in the World to Come, everything is HaTov HaMetiv. That means that in this current world, we don't perceive difficult things as good. When they're difficult, they're difficult and we have to be aware that they're difficult. We can't delude ourselves into saying it's good. It's obviously not good. You want to change it, it's not so good.
Rav Avraham Grodzinski the great Mashgiach of Slobodka, in his sefer Torat Avraham, has a whole unit that discusses accepting Yissurim. He quotes a very interesting Tosafot in Sotah 31A, which quotes from the Yerushalmi in the 9th perek of Berachot, a slightly different version of a story that we all know. The story is of Rabbi Akiva who was one of the 10 martyrs and died Al Kiddush Hashem. As he was tortured, he said Shema. His students were standing there, and we know what they asked him, but lthe wicked king Turnus Rufus, the one who ordered this horrible execution was also there. He saw Rabbi Akiva saying Shema, and not only was he saying it, but he was smiling. So this wicked man said, "Saba, saba/Old man, old man. You're either a fool or you're a Meva'et B'Yissurim, you're someone that's kicking at Yissurim. You're being defiant.
It's like if you hit a kid and the kid says, "Ha ha, you can't hurt me."
Rabbi Akiva responded, "I am not a fool and I'm not defiant. My whole life I waited to say this pasuk with all my heart, and now I'm saying it. I'm going to say it with a smile. On that Rav Grodzenski says, We see from here it's possible when someone is suffering, that there are two ways to interpret his happiness. It could be a happiness of accepting suffering with love or it could be defiance. (His understanding is that the defiance isn't directed toward the torturer, like someone being tortured by a Nazi won't give him the pleasure of screaming). This defiance is to God.
How so? He quotes the Gemara that we just mentioned, that one does not make the same blessing on good and bad. And therefore he says, "The person has to feel the bad, that this is Dayan HaEmet." God is invoking truth; God is not invoking kindness now. This is judgment, not mercy. That's what the Dayan Emet blessing is. With all that being said, he has to accept it b'simcha, that he's happy on the justice. He feels the suffering, but at the same time he accepts the suffering. That's what it means to accept Yissurim B'Ahava. Accepting Yissurim B'Ahava doesn't mean that the person is apathetic. It's not like he took Novocaine and doesn't feel anything. No, something is hurting, and I accept the pain, but I accept it happily. Just like someone getting a root canal doesn't punch the dentist. He doesn't like the root canal. It's painful. But he accepts it with happiness. He's not delusional, he doesn't say "It's great, it's terrific that this is happening. It's the best thing!"
It is painful, it is hard. It takes processing to get there. Rav Avraham Grodzinski practiced what he preached. He was a Baal Yissurim. He was the father-in-law of Rav Wolbe and he died in the Warsaw ghetto.
When he first became Mashgiach of Slobodka, his wife passed away. He was taking care of eight children, the youngest of them one and two years old. It was a terrible tragedy. Halacha says to say, Dayan HaEmet- has v'shalom, mourners have to make a beracha. But he did not want make this beracha out of habit (This is brought down the introduction to one of his Sefarim, written by his sons) You have to accept it b'simcha. It took him two days until he said Dayan HaEmet, until he was ready to say it. He didn't just say it, he wanted to be ready to say it. I heard this from Rav Wolbe besides it being in the book. What greatness. He wasn't trying to fool people by saying immediately that it was great. He was being honest. No, it's not great. He lost his wife. He had eight orphans. He was not instantly ready to say it.
A Gadol B'Yisrael, a giant of people once came to our house in Monsey to visit my father. He had recently lost a child, lo alenu, and he said something that, to this day, hits me to the core. He said, "I don't understand. There are three partners, man, his wife, and God. How could Hashem take something away without asking the other two partners permission?" I was like, Whoa. How can he say that?
But the answer is he was dealing with it. It's a process. There are internal struggles that we have. You can't just take a shot Novocaine and ignore everything that's going on.
The definition of the word רע is evil, but the root of the word רע comes from a pasuk in Tehilim 2,9
תְּ֭רֹעֵם בְּשֵׁ֣בֶט בַּרְזֶ֑ל כִּכְלִ֖י יוֹצֵ֣ר תְּנַפְּצֵֽם׃
Break them with the iron staff. And Rav Moshe Shapiro says the root of the word תרעם is רע /broken, because רע is a just piece of the picture. On its own, it's evil, but in the larger picture, it is something that is good.
The root canal is not great, but now you can eat without pain. So in the larger picture, it's good. Some might ask, about the Maggid of Mezritch, who was asked by his students, how it could be humanly possible for anyone to reach the level that the Gemara describes, where a person is required to bless Hashem for the bad, just as he blesses Hashem for the good.
Great question. The Maggid of Mezritch told them, "Go and ask my student the holy Reb Zusha." So they went to Rev Zusha's home, which was a shambles. His clothes were torn and faded, he seemed to be in physical pain and his family situation wasn't great. They asked him the question, How could it be that a person makes a beracha on the bad the same as he does on the good. They told him the Maggid of Mezritch sent them to him for the answer to the question.
Rav Zusha answered, "You've come to the wrong place. I never experienced anything bad in my life, so how could I answer you?" When they heard his answer, they understood. That story makes it seem like Rav Zusha didn't have any feelings, and just thought everything was great. But that's a rare exception. This is an important rule. There's the rule and there is the exception. Rav Ades said, "We don't live our lives on stories."You have to go and learn the topic.
The Leshem, Rav Elyashiv's grandfather, in is sefer HaDe'ah (vol 2, derush 5, chapter 30), asks the famous question. "How could it be that if you rely on Hashem, He comes through, if He didn't come through for many great people?
His answer is that some of them were on the level of Mekablei Yissurim B'Ahava. They wanted to accept suffering with love like Rabbi Akiva, and the rare example of the 10 martyrs. And yes, of course Rabbi Akiva could have gotten out of it with his bitachon, but he didn't want to, he wanted to be Mekabel Yissurim B'Ahava.. And further, he didn't want to bother his Creator.
He didn't want to bother his Creator??
Rav Bloch, in his sefer Igeret Al HaBitachon page 72 says, asks, What do you mean you don't want to bother your Creator? There is a mitzvah of Bitachon. How can it be a bother? He answers based on the Gemara in Pesachim 50A that we quoted above, that Olam Haba is only HaTov HaMetiv. In the future, we will recognize that everything is good; that everything that happened to us is Tov Mamash- not just for the good, but good.
There are some people that can reach that level in this world.
It's like I have vanilla ice cream with sprinkles, but I say, "Could you give me that vanilla ice cream with sprinkles," even though I have the same thing.
It was all the same for them, and therefore it was a bother to ask God to change it. There are people that reach that level. Rav Zusha was one of those people. But that doesn't mean that we are on that level or that we should now suddenly bypass the situation and say, "It's all good." It's not all good, it's all for the good.
Ehen something happens to us, we have to feel it. Then we have to humble ourselves and accept it, even though it's difficult and we don't like it. We have to humble ourselves to will of God. There are two ways to do it. If you say, "Nothing happened, it's great," you're not humbling yourself to will of God. You're reframing that this is good when you don't really feel it's good, but you're trying to make yourself feel that it's good. But even the greatest of greats aren't necessarily there, and for us to even think that we're there is almost presumptuous.