Welcome to Emotional Wellness Daily, a project of SIMHA, the Sephardic Initiative for Mental Health Awareness. In our previous class, Dr. Katzenstein discussed a basic understanding of anxiety, which I was pleased to hear-and this is the benefit of listening to a psychologist/therapist who is a religious Jew and ben-Torah, versus listening to a person of secular background-do we invoke God in our discussions or not?
Although it was a clinical discussion about anxiety, he did say, more than once that anxiety is a gift of God. How so? God created anxiety so that when a tiger comes along, for example, we get scared and run. If we had no anxiety, and a bus was coming towards us, we wouldn't have that immediate reaction to look for safety and run away. Fight or flight, as they say.
In the secular world, they have a different approach to anxiety. They say it’s part of the evolutionary process, has v’shalom; that it’s survival of the fittest. They claim (and this is silliness) that long ago, when they heard the noise of the glacier about to crack off and come down upon them, the anxious people ran away, whereas the less anxious people stayed behind and were killed. Therefore, we, the survivors, all have anxiety. Of course, it's silliness. How many mutations would have to come together in the same person? We wouldn’t have had the time for all these developments. My classic example is the umbilical cord. We don't have billions of years for umbilical cord to develop because without one, the very first child would not have survived the first pregnancy. So, it's a ludicrous theory.
But what I want to stress is that yes, anxiety is a gift of God. Why? Because, as we said, we need anxiety.
I remember when I was in elementary school, we learned that physical pain is necessary. Why? Wouldn’t it be great not to have pain? The example that I was given was of a person with diabetes who did not have feeling in his extremities. He put his hand on the hot stove with an open fire, not realizing until he started smelling burning flesh, that it was his own. Most of our symptoms of any internal disease comes from pain. Pain in the stomach, in the head, etc. . So, we need pain. Pain is a gift of God.
Of course, people with anxiety start saying, “Oh my gosh! I have a pain in my head. Maybe I have some terminal illness,” and every little pain causes them to run to the doctor (that's what we call hypochondria). But we have to know that pain is a gift, and anxiety is a gift. Why is that important? I want to share an interesting thought that I had.
There's a rule that a person can only benefit from something if they appreciate it. The source is David Hamelech. David Hamelech cut the clothing of Shaul, and thus did not derive benefit from his clothing at the end of his life, as it says that the clothing did not warm him. Since he did not respect the clothing, it did not warm him. That's a general rule: Things only work when you respect them. Another example is in the Gemara in Baba Matzia: Rava tells the people of certain town, “Respect your wives and you'll become wealthy.” His source was Avraham, who got gifts because of Sara. Someone might wonder, how is that a source that I should respect my wife? Yes, it’s a source to get married because wives bring blessing- but why do I have to respect her?
And they explain that, yes, the wife brings blessing, but if you don't respect her, it's not going to work.
Everything needs to be respected. I want to suggest that maybe we can try an exercise in order to help us deal with our anxiety. We can say to Hashem, in the morning, “Thank You for my anxiety. It's a wonderful gift. It protects me, it keeps me safe.”
And by appreciating your anxiety, it'll work for you in the right way, and you won't be overly anxious. Because a little bit of anxiety is always necessary. It's the too much that gets us into trouble. So, put that into your Modim, “I appreciate and thank Hashem for my anxiety,” and B’Ezrat Hashem, it will only be for the best.
Have a wonderful day.
