As we prepare for Rosh Hashana, there’s an important mindset that we need. In order to have success with this mindset, we have to put on our Emunah and Bitachon caps. This principle is that the way we judge and act towards others is the way Hashem judges and acts towards us.
Therefore, we have to be easygoing on Rosh Hashanah, even though it might be a tense day. The prayers are long, there’s a lot going on, we may be eating in other people’s homes...
All of these things can be challenging, but we have to look at these challenges in patience and tolerance as opportunities to take advantage of, in order earn merit, and give in to the demands of others.
As the Gemara in Masechet Rosh Hashana tells us,
כל המעביר על מדותיו מעבירין לו על כל פשעיו
Anyone who is easygoing and not so exacting, and lets things go with others, G-d will be easygoing with his sins.
This is an important thing to keep in mind, along with all of our other Rosh Hashanah mindsets. You may find somebody sitting in your seat at shul. Or you may have to wait for company to come. It may take a long time, and to make matters worse, you might be one of the pious ones who fasts on erev Rosh Hashanah. It’s the first night, you can’t make kiddush because you have to wait for your brother-in-law, and you’re ready to explode.
Why do these things happen?
These are opportunities for you to judge your brother-in-law properly, to tolerate his behavior, and to judge him favorably. And if so, G-d will tolerate you and judge you favorably as well.
Once we frame it that way, as opportunity, and we understand these Rosh Hashana challenges, it will be easier for us.
A Gemara in Masechet Berachot יח tells a fascinating story:
מעשה בחסיד אחד שנתן דינר לעני בערב ראש השנה בשני בצורת והקניטתו אשתו
There was a certain pious man who gave money to a poor person on erev Rosh Hashanah, during a time of famine. The man had money, which he intended to use for food for his family but he gave it away. His wife got very upset with him when he told her what he did. Why be so pious? she asked.
The Gemara continues with an eerie turn in the story.
Being that he had gotten upset at his wife on erev Rosh Hashanah, a time when a person must be humble (as we have discussed), he took an extreme measure.
והלך ולן בבית הקברות
He went to sleep in the cemetery.
While there, he overheard two spirits discussing what judgments were coming up for the year. One went to find out, came back, and reported that there would be a hailstorm, and anyone who planted in the first season would lose everything. The man, having heard this, saved his grain for second planting. Everyone else’s crops got ruined, but he was very successful, despite the famine going on in the rest of the world.
Rav Matisyahu Salomon, the Mashgiach of Lakewood, asks what exactly the message of this story is.
Charity is good thing, especially before Rosh Hashanah. Why’d the wife get upset?
The man gave charity, so apparently he deserved success, but it was obviously a strict judgment year, as could be determined from the hailstorm. So G-d gave this man an opportunity. His wife would upset him, and he would overcome his feelings. He worked on himself; he slept in a cemetery. And now that he was מעביר על מדותיו, he overcame his inner challenge, and got along with his wife, he got the blessing.
Because when you have mercy on others, G-d has mercy on you.
Therefore, with our Bitachon glasses on, we can take all of the challenges and difficulties that come up on the two days of Rosh Hashana, and make lemonade out of lemons. We’ll turn it into an opportunity to be המעביר על מדותיו
And if we are easygoing with others, Hashem will give us all a happy judgement, BeH.
Tizku L’shanim Rabot.