Welcome to Emotional Wellness Daily, an Initiative of SIMHA, the Sephardic Initiative for Mental Health Awareness.
In this week's Parasha, the Torah describes the seven-step downfall of the person, which starts from a lack of toiling in Torah. One thing leads to the other, in a chain reaction:
If you don't learn the Torah, you won't perform Mitzvot. If you don't perform Mitzvot , you'll be disgusted by those who do. Eventually you'll hate the sages, prevent others from doing Mitzvot, deny the Mitzvot of Hashem and ultimately die denying God's existence. This is a seven step downward spiral. And where did it all start from? Not toiling in Torah.
Rav Yehezkiel Levenstein explains that this means not fulfilling your own mission. Since you're upset with yourself for not doing what you are supposed to be doing, you become dissatisfied with yourself. Then, because of that, you start to dislike the person who's surpassing you. Then your jealousy turns into hatred. Instead of looking inside of yourself to rectify yourself, you hate him, and eventually you dislike the rabbis who are guiding you and it spirals downward into hating Hashem. This is an important. It means the entire exile of the Jewish people, and the 49 curses that we read before the holiday of Shavuot are all rooted in you not fulfilling your own mission.
Every Shavuot, we recommit ourselves to our mission. We say V’Ten Chelkenu b’Torahta/give us our portion. Everyone has their portion. Sometimes when we're upset at others, deep down, we’re really upset that we're not fulfilling our mission. We didn't take advantage of our portion.
Rav Yehezkiel says the first thing you must do is be happy with yourself. Of course, we should always try to improve, but we must also uproot any negativity that holds us back from happiness. One should be content with the characteristics and potential that Hashem has given him, and then he can build on that. But if he's bitter and constantly compares himself (unfavorably) to others, always feeling resentful and disadvantaged, he will drift away from the service of Hashem and begin to hate those who grow and excel. So this is a important point. Many times we see friction and discord among people, but deep down, it's coming from the person not being happy with himself.
Like we’ve said in the past, the pasuk says, V’Atah Shalom/you're at peace. U’Bet’cha Shalom/ Your household is at peace, V’kol Asher Lecha Shalom/And everything of yours is at peace. It starts with V’ATah Shalom. You have to be at peace with yourself. The first step in our service to Hashem is to be happy with our situation. If you don't serve Hashem with happiness, he says there's no hope. Heaven forbid, who knows to what level you'll fall!
This concept, he says, is a novel point for many people who think that the main thing is the actual service of Hashem, but not the attitude with which the service is done. If you're happy with yourself, then everything turns around.
Rav Yehezkiel says that this goes back to the first discord, the fight between Kayin and Hevel. Hashem asked Kayin, “Why are you annoyed? Why has your countenance fallen?”
Kayin was jealous of Hevel, because Hevel’s offering had been accepted while his was not. He was jealous because Hevel surpassed him in the service of Hashem.. This suggests that Kayin was a good man- he wanted to be better. But ultimately, it escalated to murder, and the Torah relates this episode to teach us a lesson: It can happen to anyone. Our negative Middot/character traits become aroused when we don't have inner peace, when we aren't happy with what we are doing.
The source of all sin and stumbling is a lack of inner satisfaction.
And what did God tell Kayin? Im Tetiv/ If you do good, Se’et/Lift yourself up.
Kayin was being told by God to forget about everyone else around him. You're upset at everything around you? Im Tetiv/Just do better. Do better in yourself. And if you start doing better on your own, Se’et/you'll lift yourself up. Your spirits will be lifted up; Everything will be uplifted.
But it all starts within you. This class is about emotional wellness based on the work of one of the greatest Mashgichim (Mashgichim are not only people that check lettuce for bugs in restaurants). Mashgiach means supervisor. Rav Yehezkiel Levenstein was supervisor of the heart and soul, making sure there are no bugs in our hearts and souls. He was a deep psychologist. He knew Torah psychology and he understood that the source of all interpersonal relationships ultimately goes back to yourself. You're hating this one, You're hating that one, you're fighting with this one, you're fighting with that one. What's it all about? It all starts from Im B’Hukotai Lo Telechu/You didn't follow My statutes. You didn't do what you were supposed to do. You didn't fulfill your mission.
Every year, we read this lesson before Shavuot because Shavuot is a new beginning.
We say, Let the year and its curses end. How do you end the year and its curses? By being happy with yourself and fulfilling your own mission.
Have a wonderful day