Welcome to Emotional Wellness Daily.
Yesterday we spoke about people that use self-help for anxiety or depression, which sometimes works, but sometimes it's above their pay grade. There's another area which I'll call a type of self-help, and that is when people try to use Emunah and Bitachon to deal with anxiety, depression or other such illnesses that seemingly, religious hizuk would help for. I'd like to shed some clarity on that point.
Not everyone might understand it this way, but this is based on the understanding that I have from my teachers. A person can have Emunah and Bitachon, but that might not necessarily be the best or easier cure for their anxiety.
If there’s a lion in the room, even the greatest Baal Bitachon is probably going to panic. Unless you're the the Or HaChaim HaKadosh or Daniel, most people would get nervous in the situation. Bitachon is very nice, but hey, there's a lion in the room. So people would get a little scared, I assume. That's natural. There's part of your brain called the amygdala that's releases a certain chemical that puts you into the flight or fight mode. When you're in the flight or fight mode, your frontal cortex shuts down and you don't think anymore. Because when a bus is coming towards you, you don't have time to think.
So Hashem put into us this wonderful thing called flight, fright and sometimes freeze. And that's what anxiety is there for. It's a good thing. We all have anxiety.
But when someone has an anxiety disorder, if they see a cat, they think there's a tiger there. Now, their Emunah and Bitachon might not work, because they are getting unnecessary releases from their amygdala. They're getting false alarms.
As a mashal, if someone's in the house and there's an alarm that goes off , saying, “Fire, fire leave immediately, they panic. But what if it goes off once, twice, or three times. That means there's a faulty alarm system in the house, that keeps on going off.
There are two ways to approach this. Approach number one is, let me use my Emunah and Bitachon to be able to stay asleep with a fire in the house. The other approach is to say, “Hey, it's a false alarm.” You just have to learn how to live with that alarm.
Similarly, when a person that has an anxiety disorder, they have a false alarm going off in their brain, causing catastrophic thinking, telling them, “Uh-oh, your husband didn't answer the phone. He was probably kidnapped or in a car accident.”
Well, maybe he's in a meeting?
No. Catastrophic thinking, says he's been kidnapped, or was in a car accident, or he had a fatal heart attack.
You can deal with this in two ways. You can use Emunah and Bitachon and start saying tehilim. Or you can go for therapy to learn how to deal with catastrophic thinking and intrusive thoughts.
The latter is much easier, and more sensible. Sometimes a person just can't do with it with Emunah and Bitachon alone. It's important to know when a person can or can't. And it's especially important for rabbis, who are on the front lines, to know that.
Rav Wolbe was once sent by a younger Mashgiach to a certain boy that was this younger Mashgiach couldn't deal with.
After meeting with that boy, Rav Wolbe said, “This man doesn't need a Mashgiach, he needs a psychiatrist. Shame on you for sending him to me. You should have been able to pick that up on your own.”
Rav Wolbe’s student, Rav Reuven Leuchter, told me that when people suffering with a mental illness are told to have Emunah and Bitachon, it makes it even harder for them, because they think, “Hey, why can't I deal with it with with Emunah and Bitachon?”
Because they can't, they're not able to.
I'm sorry if this might sound a little irreligious, as if I don't believe in Emunah and Bitachon. On the contrary, I'm a big believer in Emunah and Bitachon, but it's not for all situations. This is an important point to be made, because there are people that are suffering unnecessarily because they think I can handle it with Emunah and Bitachon. Definitely try it. But if after a period of time it's still not working, if you're having panic attack attacks, or you're not sleeping well at night and experiencing all the other things that come along with anxiety or depression or the like, it's time to seek help. And again, there's nothing wrong with you.
We spoke about this yesterday. It is an illness like any other illness. Of course, you need to have Emunah and Bitachon, but you have to do your hishtadlut. And just like someone doesn't say, “Well, I have Emunah and Bitachon so my heart condition is going to go away,” Emuna and bitachon might not take away my anxiety.
I need to do my proper hishtadlut. There's no difference between a kidney stone and anxiety. Of course, since anxiety is something you think and feel, people say, “Oh, if it's about how I think and feel, I can handle it on my own.” But it's not always that simple. Unless
You’re a professional, it's not for you to discern what can or can't be helped on your own. And when it gets to a certain point of intensity, duration, and frequency, it's time to seek help.
At SIMHA, a person can come down confidentially, share their challenges and their questions. Is it normal? Isn't it normal? Does it need help. Does it not need help?
Why suffer unnecessarily?
Why feel shameful and guilty that you're not handling it on your own, when you're not able to handle it on your own.
Contact us at SIMHA by calling or texting 9298415160 or send email to office@simhahealth.org
You’ll will get a free clinical assessment and help with your challenges.
Have a wonderful day.