Welcome to Emotional Wellness Daily. There is a beautiful reframe that I saw in the Rambam’s Hilchot Shabbat. It shows, once again, how religion helps withthe way we look at things.
The Rambam writes, in the laws of Shabbat,
אע"פ שיהיה אדם חשוב ביותר ואין דרכו ליקח דברים מן השוק ולא להתעסק במלאכות שבבית, חייב לעשות דברים שהן לצורך השבת בגופו, שזה הוא כבודו.
Even if a person is extremely important, and he doesn't normally buy things from the market and is not found in the marketplace. and doesn't get himself involved in the household chores, he has to do things with his body for Shabbat. The Shulchan Aruch says, He should try. That is his honor.
He goes on to mention great rabbis from the time of the Gemara; some would chop the wood for cooking, another would actually cook. One of them would salt the meat, another would prepare the wicks, and one of them would go shopping.., Even though this wasn't their normal thing, for Shabbat, they would do it.
The Chafetz Chaim asks why he says the words, “This is his honor,” and explains that it’s because there’s a law that says a person has to maintain a certain degree of dignity. A Talmid Chacham is not supposed to be seen ‘changing his tire,’ in public, for example. There is a certain level of dignity he's supposed to maintain. So why, then, is he allowed to go shopping for watermelon and be seen in the supermarket?
The answer is, that's his honor. It's honorable to be involved in God's work.
As a mashal, many years ago there was the Oklahoma bombing, where a crazed man blew up a building. There was a daycare center there, children died… it was terrible…
But one award-winning picture emerged from that day, of a firefighter holding a baby that he had pulled out of the rubble, alive. The firefighter in the picture was sweaty and grimy. Did anyone will look at that picture and say, “Look at that dirty, smelly firefighter!” Of course not.. . He was a hero.
That dirt and grime was his honor. It was his heroism.
Similarly, when a person is doing something for Hashem, that's his honor. That's his respect.
And we can make the connection from Shabbat to Pesach: People (men and women alike) might think, “What am I doing? Am I a maid doing Pesach cleaning? I have to bend over and clean?!”
And the answer is
שזה הוא כבודו
This is your honor
There's a story about Rabbi Elyashiv doing Bedikat Chametz. He was once checking under a bed, and when he stood up, his jacket was a little dusty. His grandson wanted to dust it off, but he said, “What do you mean? This is Mitzvah dust. This is not dirt.” That's the way we have to look at it.
And this is very important because our outlook on what is going on in our lives impacts us. If look at our preparations like we're involved in lowly work, we’ll feel resentment. But if we view it as honorable work, we feel greatness.
In the Navi, the story is told of David Hamelech’s wife, Michal, who was the daughter of Shaul, the king. Shaul’s household had an approach of dignity. They always wore gloves, they covered themselves…they were a royal family. So she looked down in disdain on David Hamelech, as he danced in front of the Sefer Torah. He rolled his sleeves up, he made noises… and she said, “That's the way you reveal yourself in front of the maid servants of your servants?”
She called the Jewish ladies standing out there, in their simple clothing, maids. So David Hamelech told her, “Don't call them Amahot (which is maids), call them Imahot. They're mothers. That's the greatest title that one can give somebody- an Em B’Yisrael: A Jewish mother. Don't look at them in degradation.”
Telling someone who asks what you do for a living, “I'm a housewife,” is like saying, “I'm a brain surgeon.” It’s the greatest thing you could be doing! You're raising Jewish children!
Don’t get down and think you're involved in lowly work, dreaming, “If only I could be somewhere else for Pesach. Why am I stuck cleaning?”
No, it's a badge of honor.
זה הוא כבודו
It’s a badge of honor, and it’s important to know that, for your emotional wellness.
Have a wonderful day.