Introduction to Chesed and Everyday Acts of Kindness
Welcome to our daily character refinement. We are discussing the concept of chesed (lovingkindness). For the past eight classes or so, we have focused on noticing when someone lacks something, offering a necessary smile, and focusing on the obvious next step: looking for small, manageable actions that require minimal effort.
Rav Wolbe provides practical examples:
If someone arrives late for a meal in yeshivah, save them a portion. If someone is searching for a sefer (book), help them locate it. If someone misses a class, review the material with them. If someone looks downcast, give them some chizuk (encouragement).
We have transitioned into the realm of action, which is relatively accessible for most people when approached with the right intentions and emotions. However, the author introduces another dimension within chesed: genuine kindness requires chochmah (wisdom).
Ashrei Maskil El Dal: Preserving Human Dignity
There is a pasuk (verse) in Tehillim: "Ashrei maskil el dal"—"Fortunate is the one who considers the poor with wisdom."
What does this mean? It means performing an act of chesed in a manner that preserves the recipient's dignity and avoids causing embarrassment. This connects back to the foundational verse in Devarim 15:8: "Pato'ach tiftach"—"You shall surely open your hand." In that discussion, the Torah instructs that you should lend to him. Rashi explains that if the person refuses to accept a direct gift, you should offer the assistance as a loan.
What happens if the person refuses even a loan? In that situation, you must use wisdom to find creative alternatives.
Rav Wolbe shares a story of a benefactor whose friend had fallen on hard times. The friend refused to take any handouts or loans. To resolve this, the benefactor devised a plan. He sat down looking noticeably distressed. His friend approached him and asked, "What is bothering you? You look deeply stressed."
The benefactor replied, "I just received a telegram regarding an elderly relative who passed away. In his last will and testament, he named me—the nephew who visited him regularly—as the executor of his estate. He instructed that the funds be distributed to someone in need, and I simply do not know what to do with the money."
His friend responded, "If that is your problem, I can help you out. I am marrying off a child and need financial assistance." The friend took the money without shame.
This dynamic mirrors the Talmudic parable of Achashverosh and Haman: one man had a mound of dirt, the other had a ditch, and each solved the other's problem. Here, both felt relieved—the benefactor appeared to solve a dilemma, and the friend received the support he needed with complete dignity.
Sourcing the Concept: Talmud Yerushalmi and Bavli
The concept of "Ashrei maskil el dal" is traced to the Talmud Yerushalmi (Peah 8:8). The Yerushalmi notes that regarding the Amora Rabbi Yonah, the verse states maskil (one who acts with insight or intellect) rather than ashrei notein l'dal (fortunate is the one who gives to the poor). Rabbi Yonah applied his intellect when dealing with a formerly wealthy person who had lost his fortune. He would say to him: "I heard you have a large inheritance coming your way. Because it will take time to arrive, let me advance you some money against it, and you can repay me when the funds clear."
A well-known Gemara in Masechet Shabbat (156b) illustrates this principle further:
Shmuel and Avelat were sitting together observing the morning stars. Avelat, a non-Jewish astrologer, looked at the constellations and pointed to a group of woodchoppers entering the forest, predicting that one specific man would not return alive. Shmuel responded, "We shall see; if he is Jewish, he may return, for ein mazal l'Yisrael (Israel is not bound by planetary fate)."
Later that day, the man returned unharmed, leaving Avelat astonished. They inspected the bundle of wood on the man's shoulders and discovered a venomous snake chopped in half within the logs.
They asked the man, "What did you do today that was out of the ordinary?"
He explained their daily routine: "We have a group of woodchoppers who head into the forest together. Every day, each person brings an ingredient—bread, tomatoes, cheese, or condiments—and we place everything into a shared pot to divide lunch equally. Today, I noticed that one member of our group had nothing to contribute because he is destitute. To avoid embarrassing him, I volunteered to collect the food from everyone. When I came to him, I pretended to take his contribution as well. Then I divided the food evenly, gave up my own portion so there would be enough, and fasted for the rest of the day."
Regarding this, the Sages declared that tzedakah tatzil mimavet—charity saves from death. The Alshich comments that this incident exemplifies "Ashrei maskil el dal." The woodchopper acted with tremendous insight. Instead of publicly asking the group to cover for the poor man, he shielded his dignity entirely. The impoverished man did not even realize that his peer had skipped a meal on his behalf.
Practical Wisdom in the Lives of the Gedolim
Numerous accounts are told of great leaders throughout Jewish history who devised discreet methods to perform chesed without the recipient ever realizing it:
Rav Chaim of Volozhin and the Winter Coat
A destitute scholar in Volozhin owned an overcoat that was frayed to threads, leaving him freezing in the bitter Lithuanian winter. Because the scholar was too proud to accept charity, Rav Chaim devised a discreet solution.
In the coatroom, Rav Chaim switched his own high-quality winter coat with the worn-out one. When the scholar discovered the mix-up, he consulted Rav Chaim for a ruling on what to do. Rav Chaim informed him that if someone accidentally leaves behind an item of superior value and takes your inferior one, you are permitted to use it until the rightful owner steps forward to reclaim it. Rav Chaim, of course, never came forward, enabling the scholar to stay warm without feeling like a recipient of charity.
The Chafetz Chaim and the Currency Consultant
A down-on-his-luck businessman firmly refused to accept any financial handouts. Recognizing his pride, the Chafetz Chaim approached him under the guise of needing commercial expertise:
"There are many counterfeit bills circulating, and people frequently present them to me. I need to understand how to distinguish a genuine note from a fake." The Chafetz Chaim presented a $100 bill and asked the man to examine it.
After the man inspected the bill, confirmed its authenticity, and explained the distinguishing marks, the Chafetz Chaim said: "Thank you for your time. You are an expert appraiser, and your advice has saved me significant distress. Here is your professional consulting fee." He handed the businessman the $100 note, which the man accepted proudly as earned income.
The Ben Ish Chai and the Silk Merchant
The Ben Ish Chai learned of a prominent Baghdadi fabric merchant whose warehouse had been looted, stripping him of the working capital needed to restart his trade. Understanding the merchant's pride and deep industry knowledge, the Ben Ish Chai summoned him:
"I require a very specific, rare textile to craft a parochet (curtain) for the Aron Kodesh (Holy Ark), and you possess unique expertise in this field. I have not been able to find anyone else capable of sourcing it. I need you to lead an acquisition search for me, wherever it takes you. A wealthy benefactor has committed funds for this project. Here is an advance of $10,000 to cover your travels and operational costs to secure the material."
Armed with that advance, the merchant had the liquidity required to restart his operations and rebuild his business independently.
We will pause here today on this dimension of chesed; to be continued.