There’s an important Bitachon point, or maybe a more accurate term would be a disclaimer, that I’d like to share, that I saw from Rav Moshe Feinstein in his sefer Darash Moshe on Parashat Hukat, which was last week’s Parasha.
The Torah talks about the Parah Adumah- the Red Heifer. The Parah Adumah is a strange phenomenon, in that it purifies those that are contaminated, and contaminates those that are pure. This is a Hok- a law that G-d decided, that we don’t understand. Certain mitzvot, known as Mishpatim, are easily understood, as they are based on civil justice. Other laws are testimonials, or Edot, like saying kiddush, or having a Seder, and then there are the Hukim- the laws that G-d decided, that we don’t necessarily have to understand.
Rabbi Moshe Feinstein asks why the Parah Adumah is referred to as, “Zot Hukat HaTorah/This is the Hok of the Torah.”
It should say, “Zot Hukat HaParah- This is the Hok of the Parah Adumah.”
This is an individual stature, of the the law of the Red Cow. So why make this statement, as if this concept is all inclusive?
Rav Moshe gives a beautiful answer, which we will first discuss as a general rule of all Middot, and then apply to Bitachon:
When it comes to our Middot, we have to have the ability to use our Middot selectively, and even contradictorily. How so?
A person is supposed to be humble. He should not demand respect from others. If he expects his children to call and wish a Shabbat shalom, but they don’t do so, it’s the right thing to forgive them. Be forgiving and humble.
But on the other hand, you yourself are supposed to call your parents on Fridays and wish them a Shabbat Shalom. You shouldn’t say “Well, if I’m supposed to be forgiving, and if I’m not supposed to demand respect for myself, then I also shouldn’t have to call my parents.” No. It doesn’t work that way.
In reality, when it comes to your parents, you have to treat them with all the respect in the world. But when it comes to your children, you should be more forgiving. You must have both approaches.
Rav Moshe says we should be humble with ourselves, but use the Middah of Ga’avah/ arrogance, when it comes to other people’s needs. We are supposed to think of what the other person needs and give it to them.
Similarly, he says, this applies to spending money. When it comes to charity, we are supposed to spend very freely, and be open and easy going with our money. But that doesn’t mean that when we are spending other people’s money, we should be empowered to spend like drunken sailors. Rather, when spending other people’s money, we have to be careful that not even a dollar is out of place.
This is the paradox, and we are supposed to be able to handle this inconsistency.
That is the Hok of the Torah.
The middah of arrogance, for example, can contaminate the pure, if we use it for ourselves; but it can purify the contaminant when we use it for someone else.
This applies to all Middot.
I like to think of it in terms of bifocals: We can look through the top of our lenses and see things one way, then look through the bottom to see close up. We need dual-focus lenses to have humility and arrogance, to be a miser with other people’s money and yet spend freely with our charity.
And now we come to Bitachon: There is a mistake that people can make, when they get so enthralled with Bitachon, and how Hashem takes care of everything. When someone calls them for help with something, or someone asks for money, they should try to help. They should not tell the person to have Bitachon and that Hashem will take care of it. Hashem will take care of it. But that’s not your job now. Your job is to help. In a more extreme example of this principle, if a lifeguard saw that someone in the water needed help, he wouldn’t tell him to have Bitachon, he would dive in and help.
A person must be aware that Bitachon, like any middah, can be misused.
Bitachon can be something that contaminates the pure.
It can be used improperly. I once heard somebody say, “Well, if I wrong somebody it’s meant to be.” He was excusing his own actions by saying that everything is meant to be. Somebody could decide to be a cutthroat, and decide that it’s OK, because it’s meant to be. That is warped Bitachon. You can’t use Bitachon to kosher your own actions, or say, “G-d is in charge, and it’s supposed to happen, so I can to shoot the fellow.”
Bitachon is no different than any middah, in that you can end up misusing it.
To continue our bifocal mashal, the top is for seeing from afar, and the bottom is for reading. But if you flip them upside down, you will bump into the walls. You won’t be able to read, and you won’t be able to drive, because you’d have them on backwards. That is the contradiction built into Middot. Wear your bifocals correctly and you can drive and read. Put them upside down and you can not do anything. This applies to Bitachon and it applies to all Middot.
Every middah can and will be misused. Make sure that your glasses fit properly.
Have a wonderful day.