Welcome to the SIMHA Emotional Wellness. Minute. When Moshe Rabbenu was about to pass on (Bamidbar 27,16), He told Hashem,
יִפְקֹ֣ד ה׳ אֱלֹקי הָרוּחֹ֖ת לְכׇל־בָּשָׂ֑ר אִ֖ישׁ עַל־הָעֵדָֽה
God, Who is the Master of the Spirits, should appoint a man upon the people.”
Rashi says this is a very strange way to refer to God- as ‘the God of the spirits.’ or ‘Controller of the spirits.’
Rashi explains that Moshe Rabbenu said, “God, You know that people are different. Everyone's state of mind is different. Appoint a leader that can carry each person.” We need somebody that has multiple lenses.
A Gadol is able to look at things through many people's eyes. They're able to get into the mind of the widow, the orphan, the older single, the depressed man who seems to have everything yet has nothing… and so on.
One of the stories that illustrates this, in a beautiful way is about the Chazon Ish. To
fully appreciate the story, you have to know that the Chazon Ish and his wife never had children.
The Chazon Ish was very active in the matter of Giyus Banot/the drafting of the daughters of Israel. He was strongly opposed to drafting girls into the army and was against any kind of arrangement that might takes girls out of their homes and have them controlled by others in an outside atmosphere.
He felt it was extremely severe. But there was another rabbi that did not understand the severity of the matter and felt that under certain circumstances they could find a way to allow it. When this rabbi walked out after discussing the matter with the Chazon Ish, some of his students incredulously commented that this rabbi didn’t seem to be on his religious level. They wondered how the rabbi even dared to make the suggestions he’d made, and so on. The Chazon Ish replied, “You can't blame him. He doesn't understand. He doesn't have any daughters. He only has sons.”
Let's pause for a minute to consider the multiple lenses of the Chazon Ish.
He looked at this man and said, “He doesn't understand. He only has sons. He doesn't have daughters.” But the Chazon Ish didn’t have any children at all. Yet not only was he capable of understanding why the girls shouldn't be in this situation, he was also capable of understanding why a man without daughters wouldn't be able to understand that.
Try to unpack all of that understanding! It’s mind boggling how an Adam Gadol is able to look at things!
Another of my favorite stories is about a great Rabbi named Rav Isser Zalman Meltzer. He was the father-in-law of Rav Aharon Kotler, and Rav Shneur Kotler, Rav Aharon Kotler’s son, was his grandson.
Rav Isser Zalman Meltzer spent the war years in Yerushalayim. Rav Shneur somehow survived the war and ended up in Yerushalayim, but he was separated from his bride-to-be during the war, and she ended up in America. Finally, after many years of being separated, Rav Shneur Kotler was going to America to marry her. Rav Isser Zalman was not going to be at the wedding and wanted to see Rav Shneur off, so when Rav Shneur’s taxi came to take him,
Rav Isser Zalman hugged his grandson goodbye in his apartment, but Rav Shneur walked down the steps alone. The people were a little bit disturbed. “After all of that suffering,” they wondered, “Your grandson is finally going to get married, and you don't even walk him out to the cab?”
It didn’t seem very emotional or caring. Rav Rav Isser Zalman Meltzer explained, “There are many people in this courtyard (where he lived in old Yerushalayim) who have survived the war but have no children or descendants.
It will cause them pain to see me send off my grandson who’s on his way to see his bride, because they don't have that nachat, and I just can't do it.
Look at the ability of a great man to put his own celebration aside and get into someone else's suffering!
Another great story about a Gadol, that Rav Wolbe tells, in Aleh Shor (vol 2, page 209) is about his father-in-law of Rav Avraham Grodzinsky, who was a Mashgiach in Slobodka.
Rav Grodzinsky was once visiting with family in Warsaw and as they were talking, Rav Grodzinsky was looking at his watch. When the watch struck eight, he started to sing and dance. For a long time, no one there knew what was going on. Then he explained that at that moment in Slobodka, one of his students was getting married.
“I can't make him happy because I'm too far away, but I can still be happy with his happiness, right here. So I got up and danced!”
Rav Wolbe says that being happy with someone else’s happiness is sometimes harder than being sad with their sadness.
When we hear of a terrible tragedy, we identify with it. Our fears that, has v’ shalom, the tragedy might happen to us, causes us, in a way, to mourn that pain of ourselves. But that doesn't show up when you're happy with someone's happiness. He points out an interesting observation- that single boys are much more active in a wedding than married men. Married people just say hello and goodbye. It's the single friends that stay throughout the night. Why is that? Why are they so much happier? And he says, it’s because somehow the single boy is living his dream of getting married. And he's, so to say, in his fantasy world of getting married. But the person that's already married has already fulfilled his dream. He no longer has that benefit and that personal agenda. So it's very hard. Only a great man can be Noseh B’Ol and be truly happy in someone else's happiness, when there's really no benefit to you, because they're not even seeing you- but you are really happy.
And that's why we have to read stories about great men- because only then will we truly appreciate these levels.