There is an important lesson that can help us in preparing for Yom Kippur, based on two haftaras, one from Rosh Hashana and one from Mincha of Yom Kippur. (Much of this comes from what I heard from Rav Bloch of Monsey)
Shemuel HaNavi’s father was named Elkana. He was the Gadol HaDor- the greatest man of his generation. He had two wives: Chana and Penina. As we know, at the outset, Chana did not have children, while Penina did. Penina got Chana upset by teasing and taunting her over the fact that she was childless. Her intention was Leshem Shamayim, to get Chana to pray.
Elkana told Chana, “Why are you crying? Why aren’t you eating? What’s bothering you?”What kind of questions are those? Elkanah was a great man! Didn’t he know what was bothering her? He was empathetic and sympathetic. She did not have children!!
But he continues and tells her,
הֲלוֹא אָנֹכִי טוֹב לָךְ מֵעֲשָׂרָה בָּנִים:
I am better than ten children.
He was not lying. He really was better than 10 children. That means that Elkana was such a good husband that was capable of making his wife feel such a way.
(I don’t know what the Chazon Ish’s house looked like. He never had children either. I don’t know if his wife was crying all day. Maybe the Chazon Ish was capable of making her happy like Elkana said he was)
If that was the case, why was she crying? Elkana said he was better than 10 children. So why was she miserable?
The answer is that Chana had a co-wife named Penina that was making her miserable. That is why she was crying.
The lesson for us is that Hashem gives a Penina an order that a person should come to his life’s mission. Chana’s mission was to have a child called Shemuel. She had to pray and create a prayer for that. V’Titpalel Chana.
So G-d sent her a nemesis- someone that would make her life miserable, in order to bring her to her perfection. We all have our Penina in life. We all have a some body or some thing that forces us to come to our life’s mission.
I would like to suggest that currently, the “Penina” for the world is Corona. We look at Corona and we want to get rid of it. Of course, we want to take all the right safety measures to protect ourselves, but at the end of the day, this has nothing to do with masks or social distancing. It has to do with Hashem’s message and directive to us, in order to change. He locked us in our homes for a month or two, and we temporarily changed. Our prayers might have been different, our interactions were different, our value system and our priorities might have changed temporarily, but then we were let out. And we, as human beings, are creatures of habit, so we bounced right back. That is the way we are.
So Penina Round Two is beginning to come out. What do we do? We have to change. That is the goal. How?
The goal of Teshuva is, as Rambam says, to become a different person. Ramchal, Rav Moshe Chaim Luzzato, writes in the introduction to his sefer Derech Etz Chaim, people spend a lot of time making calculations of their business, of how many steps they take every day, calculations of all kinds of things. But he asks why don’t we think the following thoughts: “Who am I? Why did I come into the world? What does Hashem want for me? What is my end goal?” These kinds of thoughts says the Ramchal, are the most powerful antidote to the Yetzer Hara. It is easy, and it has a great impact. He says that we should take out an hour a day every day to think about this. What did Abraham, Yitzhak and Yaakov do? What did Moshe Rabbenu do? What do David HaMelech do?
What do I have to do in my life in order to get where I have to get?
I am not saying to do this every day. And I am not saying an hour. But it’s Erev Kippur. Take out some time- fifteen minutes- and think to yourself: What does Hashem want for me? What am I here for? What can I do? What do I need to change?
We read Maftir Yonah on Yom Kippur, and most people stress the message that the town of Ninveh did Teshuva. But the Mishnah Berura brings down, mainly in the name of the Livush, that the message is really about Yonah. Yonah tried to run away from G-d, but you cannot run away from G-d.
What does that mean to us?
What Hashem wants for a man will happen. Whether we like it or not. Yonah thought he would run away to avoid giving the prophecy, but what Hashem wants is going to happen. Go willingly.
The Sforno says the same thing when (Shemot -11:1) Paroah was being forced to send the Jewish people out.
He says that is the way of Hashem.
Pharoah, you are going to send them out anyway. Why put up a fight? Go willingly.
We have to know that in life, Hashem is going to get us where we have to get. Our question is: Are we going to be part of the process or not?
One suggestion on change: There is a Yerushalmi, as well as a Bavli, that quotes a concept that there three people whose sins are forgiven: a Chatan/ man getting married, a person who gets a position of greatness such as a rabbi, or a person who gets a position of community leadership, like the president of a shul.
The Ein Yaakov says that common theme among these three people is that they have made a lifestyle change. It is not a temporary thing.
For example, the man getting married now has a wife for life. That is it. You are living with a wife now. You must make her happy. You have to be concerned about her feelings. It is not about you. That is a life change.
Another example is the power of the daf. A person making a commitment to the daf yomi is making a life-change.
On the physical side, when a person decides to commits to their health and joins a gym with their friend, and they go twice a week, that’s a life change.
I know someone who lost 20 to 30 pounds. A person came over to him and said, “I’m not impressed. A lot of people have lost weight. But let me see what you are going to look like in a year from now. That would be impressive.”
Change has to be something with teeth in it. Make some kind of commitment that you know will stick. Join a class or a group. When you join something and become a part of something, you make a lifestyle change.
Of course, you have to figure out what exactly you need to work on. Spend some time thinking about that today.
BeEzrat Hashem, we will commit to change, and we will take the lesson of our personal Penina in life, and be like Chana, and come to complete our mission in life.
Tizku Leshanim Rabot.